John Brown: Suburban Empire

Since stating to be the “King of the Burbs” on Ego Trip’s The White Rapper Show a few years back, John Brown was able to stand out from the rest. Every week he rapped some funny ish or was involved in some kind of drama. Son went on to become a finalist, but eventually lost the competition to $hamrock (I would’ve gave it to Persia. Exactly how you thinking too). But unlike the winner, Brown was able to maintain some kind of relevancy in the game after the show was done.

From mixtapes to web videos, John Brown is as big as he ever was… which actually isn’t that big. But still, he’s making music and putting it out there for all those suburb wannabe hoods who study the game of hip-hop, but ain’t never set foot on a single block. Sort of like those white kids in that movie, “Havoc.” That said, you can only expect so much from a rapper who claims to be King of the Burbs (has Asher Roth taken that crown yet?), but still talks about Ghetto Revival. Ain’t y’all heard Treach’s message at the end of the classic “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright”??

I mean listening to son talk about, “Step Ya muthafuckin’ G Up” on “Step Ya G Up” had me bugging. Like this is the same man who said, “I’m what the burbs made me.” Who’s he to tell me to step my G up? What does the letter “G” stand for in the suburbs? Geico? Should I step my car insurance up? Is that what he’s hinting at? “Mom N Dad Money” was just ridiculous. Tho I do believe him when he said, “Keep the goons on some ex-con loco shit/till we paid on some Exxon mobile shit.” I mean we all know them suburb kids really do kill out of boredom. It was still a horrible song, though. More comedic than serious hip-hop. And using that little whisper flow on his club joint, “On and On” was just irritating.

All in all, John Brown isn’t a bad rapper he’s just a ridiculous one. He chose some dope beats to make his music and he rhymes well with a decent flow, but It’s hard to take him serious after having watched the show and listening to lines like, “I’m what the burbs made me,” or “I’m in a spaceship/y’all in a Saturn,” or “Cops did their research/now they want the jeep searched/who’s the hardest? Who orders? Bitch, me first.” Like for real son? You the hardest? Where? At a Brady Bunch convention? I don’t think he’d be the hardest dude on the set of Different Strokes (Gary Coleman’s a bad muthafucka).

He just sounds like a clown rapper. His content is all about life in the suburbs, which is cool and all, but they way he pens his rhymes about that life and way of thinking puts him in the same category as Weird Al Yankovic. I mean he said, “I’m a boss, fucker/stay up like a lost trucker.” I couldn’t even type that without cracking the f*ck up, man. At the end of the day this mixtape wasn’t made for heads like me. But you’re damn right us real hood nuccas is gonna enjoy making fun of it. And don’t get it twisted, I like John Brown cause he’s entertaining, but I can’t co-sign his music, man. I’m from Bushwick, Brooklyn. Ain’t no burbs around here, sonny.-The Infamous O

Hottest Joint: “Crew Like Mine”

Weakest Joint: “Mom N Dad Money”