Trick or treat, niggas. Last Halloween was a historic day for hip-hop. No, we didn’t get the release of the long-awaited second album from Clipse (some magazine said it’s a classic, you bastards). Instead we got a grab bag of diverse rhyme slayers with many styles, many styles. Britney’s ex went head up with Chuck D’s hypeman, but they weren’t the only ones duking it out in the ten or twelve record stores (The Tower of power is no more, kids) that still exist.
Yes, it’s Wed., so the results of last week’s releases are in. Allow me to give you the results as YN Presents His First Annual Coaster Countdown. (Naysayers take note: I never actually sat and listened to any of this crap below. Life is precious and time won’t give me time. Word to the Boy called George.)
10: Ron Artest My World
SoundScan: 1
One? How’d you only sell one CD especially when millions of people seen you beatdown some crackers at a basketball game. Maybe people we’re too shook to cop the QB’s soldier’s debut. Hell, who even knew it was out? Anyway, Ron’s my dude and I think you SoundScan suckers are scamming us. Election day was yesterday but my nigga still deserves a recount.
UPDATE: Ron Ron sold 343. SoundScam had two seperate listings. Their bad. The homie moves up to #7.
9: Channel Live Street Science Rap
SoundScan: 20
KRS’s former castaways are still out there grindin’? Who knew? I used to live in Brooklyn and running into Hakim on the street is any music industry fuck’s rite of passage. I thought homeboy was doin’ videos with Benny Boom. Again, 20 units? That’s disrespectful. Keep ya head up fellas, according to this spot, your shit is sold out. Ha!
8: Celly Cel Brings the Gumbo Pot
SoundScan: 100
This Bay Area rap vet is wearing a lot of red on his cover and I don’t want no problems. Moving on…
7: Lil Romeo Greatest Hits
SoundScan: 161
Can you believe this little tyke has 4 LPs under his belt (Take that, Mr. Budden). Might make a nice stocking stuffer for the shorties this holiday season.
6: Juggaknots Use Your Confusion
SoundScan: 535
This is some underground shit, so who knows how many albums were even pressed? I haven’t thought about these guys since I used to write the underground column I created in The Source.
5: CL Smooth American Me
SoundScan: 693
Life after Pete Rock? Not that good, apparently.
4: Ice-T Gangsta Rap
SoundScan: 744
Even pimpin’ his new lady out Darlene-style couldn’t save the day for the rap Hall-of-Famer.
3: Cee-Lo The Closet Freak: The Best of Cee-Lo Green The Soul Machine
SoundScan: 788
Looks like some greedy label wants a piece of that Dangermouse poontang pie.
2: Flavor Flav Flavor Flav
SoundScan: 2,181
I remember back in the early 90’s when we were actually fiendin’ for a taste of the Flavor on the solo tip. It’s obvious here that Flav has tried to parlay his new TV fame to resurrect his music career and failed miserably. Might be time to holla at VH1 to talk about Season 3, playboy.
1: Kevin Federline Playing With Fire
SoundScan: 6,485
Let me get this straight: dude gets his album out, becomes a wrestler and then decides it’s time to kick his rich white bitch to the curb. Wow, that’s gangsta! All I know is dude’s bars are so elementary, we struggled to find the right one to be crowned Step Your Rap Game Up’s worst of ’06. Congrats, K-Fed!
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November 8th, 2006
at 4:18 pm
Flip says:
DAMN ARTEST!!! 1 fucking album!?!?! That can’t be real. The nigga doesn’t have a family!?!? If I made an album of freestyle harmonica music I could get off at least 15 joints from friends and family cops. This shit is embarassing for the black race.
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:23 pm
Tyler says:
ARe mean for real are U shock’d by any of these? Okay my man Flavor should have done better #’s than this but he didn’t even have a single or video did he? K Fed is just Dead on arrival dawgs plus he lost his sugar mommy which I can’t wait 2 see his bitch back out on the town drinkin’ her ass off down here on South Beach so I can beat it real good.
Peep the musical heat and vibes at:
http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic
http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:27 pm
The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE says:
Should have done it on the top sellers…probably would have but then you realized who was #1…
Cashmoney still the company and Weezy the boss
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:30 pm
Corinne says:
It was not surprising that ma….that straight out of the jungle looking person didn’t release his album, it would of been nice for Halloween sound effects though.
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:37 pm
big bo says:
what did birdman and weezy sell?
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:37 pm
SONNY CHEEBA says:
Ron Artest sold “1″ copy…
DAMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNN HOMIE!
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:41 pm
eskay says:
smh @ Artest
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:44 pm
Corinne says:
^^^^^^ must of been his number #1 fan (pun intended)
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:45 pm
Corinne says:
^ must of been his number 1 fan ( pun intended)
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:47 pm
Corinne says:
srry, double
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:55 pm
Corinne says:
….and on K-Fed. He offically is Vanilla Ice’s brother, I swear they related. It’s a damn shame that he even tried….but to think about it, Paris did get on stage with Fat Joe, I do see a K-Fed and Ja Rule colab though…
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 4:55 pm
BELIZE says:
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 5:01 pm
Young A. Simmons says:
Shit Ron, imma buy a copy next week just outta pity.
and kfed predicted he would sell 2 mill.. only 1.99 million more to go, good luck with that.
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 5:09 pm
Rey says:
Gotta love K-Fed’s “rapper sneer”.
Dude looks retarded.
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 5:29 pm
gluvnast says:
LMAO!!! one album…i guess he bought that copy himself for the listening party
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 5:29 pm
gluvnast says:
i mean is it REALLY that possible to just sell one record….?????
isn’t that a record or something??
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 5:45 pm
Mr.Me says:
YN can we please get some consistency over on bangers because xxl is updatin the bangers at weird ass times if at all. Tell the troll who runs that section to stop slackin off an release the music 1st at a reasonable time.
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 5:47 pm
iLL Change says:
lol @ Flip. “freestyle harmonica.” but for real, how do you only sell one album? that’s guiness material right there. i bet he bought it himself. he aint have no promo anyways tho, so he only got his self to blame.
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 5:48 pm
Mr.Me says:
YN’s mother has a glass eye filled wit Maddog 20/20 an RubyRed
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 5:57 pm
SONNY CHEEBA says:
hey Elliot, i should get a blog here JUST for the comment i made below on Bo(w)l’s page!
SONNY CHEEBA Says:
November 8th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
This was ALL the white man’s plan!
When Hip-Hop BLEW UP, whitey was trying to figure out how to take it from niggas (like Rock’N’Roll) so they dropped Vanilla Ice…
He sold DUMB records (like 17million or so), but after a while niggas knew he was just an MC Hammer biter and deaded it…
We took control for alil while longer until “nature took it’s course” and gave us Eminem…
He was DOPE, signed to Interscope (home of Death Row & 2pac), and was co-signed/produced by “Dr. Fuckin Dre”…
Can u say: Game Over?
But NO, we STILL managed to “keep it real” and that’s when whitey REALLY kicked his plan into affect!
He took ALL the dopest producers (Neptunes, Primo, Swizz, Timbaland, etc) and had them making music for his “pop acts” (Justin, Beyonce, Nelly Furtado, Gwen Stafani,etc), thus making a drought of “good beats” for the “good artists”…
and then as opose to signing credible acts who have something to talk about other than guns, drugs, bitches & money (a subject i actually like)- they go & sign a WHOLE BUNCH of COONS! ie D4L, DFB, Ying Yang Twins, etc…
Thus letting a precious art form dwindle away and “kill itself”…
That’s why “Hip-Hop” is dead!!!
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 6:06 pm
Jason Mckenzie says:
how the fuck do you sell 1 copy if i was ron i would kill myself
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 6:40 pm
weezybaby says:
ALL I NEED IS ONE ALBUM
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 6:46 pm
killa k says:
me and my boys are gonna buy Ron’s album just to get him into double figures
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 7:28 pm
Danja29 says:
Ahhh, don’t cry for Ron… he’s just takin’ his rap career one fan at a time.
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 8:17 pm
G Off says:
Somebody out there is like “Damn, I was the only cat to buy Ron Ron’s disc? Shit.”
It makes me want to go buy one just to double his numbers
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 10:14 pm
Meka Soul says:
k-fed made me stop watching wrestling altogether.
no mike jones.
Reply
November 8th, 2006
at 10:47 pm
jonjon--23 says:
Those numbers are mind boggling….I wonder how K-Fed even got a budget to put out an album.
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 2:25 am
Bang says:
someone return his shit now, just to fuck with him
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 2:49 am
pop a poppa says:
those #s are wrong cuz i saw more than 3 people buyin’ Ron’s album at the record store. don’t know how soundscan does their #s but they mos def ain’t countin’ every sale (vote or die bitch!). and fuck Bush. we want a recount.
it makes me wonder how we can be sure who has the #1 album on the charts if they can’t even get this basic shit right.
and with K-Fed flyin’ solo at least he’ll have some mo shit to rap about LOL
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 9:32 am
Hannah Smith says:
“I haven’t thought about these guys since I used to write the underground column I created in The Source.”
Um, it was kinda wholesale lifted - title and all - from another magazine…
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 9:53 am
Nah Right » Blog Archive » Daily Headlines 11-9-06 says:
[...] Ron Artest sets what has to be a new Soundscan record, selling only one copy of his debut album. [...]
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 10:29 am
Prince Of The South says:
One album sold. You know he bought that himself. That’s bad even your own family wouldn’t buy your cd. What about your girl, why she ain’t buy a record. LOL
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 11:47 am
D-Wats says:
Damn Ron, I could fart into a mic and sell more than 1 copy of it. If 1,000,000 is platinum and 500,000 is gold, what is 1?
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 11:51 am
BillyC_808 says:
I wasn’t going to say anything until I read the words “crackers” and “white bitch” in your review… then I changed my mind… ain’t it strange that the least talented fool on this list, F-Ked, sold more records than everybody else on this list combined? What does that prove? While blacks are busy shuckin’ and jivin’, hatin’ whitey, my people are still makin’ moves, still promoting their shit, and still makin’ more cash than the rest of you raciest fucks! One love.
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 1:33 pm
If I put out a rap album… « I ask Joboo to come. Take FEAR from bats. says:
[...] Well, the hell with Jibbs (one of the members of Insane Clown Posse?), as the masses will be pleased to know that Mr. Artest sold 343 copies of his album. Originally, the number was reported as ONE. Which, really, would not have surprised any living soul. Amazon.com’s rankings has Artest at #49,111 in Music. I had no idea until just this moment that there were 49,111 albums available to purchase. [...]
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 1:59 pm
Blah zay Blah says:
a note on Juggaknots
That record actually scanned 562 by end of week 1. I noticed they had 26 that scanned right before street date that didnt count on week 1.
Juggaknots first record “Clear Blue Skies” released by Caroline in 2003 only scanned 134 1st week and that record went on to scan over 11,000 units…and by looking at sound scan it took 8 weeks to do the numbers this record did. Does that mean “Use your Confusion” will scan over 50,000 units in 3 years time?
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 4:32 pm
Soundscan: Ron Artest Moves 343 Copies @ Ground Up HipHop - Hiphop news, reviews and mixtapes says:
[...] It should be noted that some albums in the list are fairly underground releases and would likely have sold more albums through small stores not recognised by Soundscan. More info, check the article [...]
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 6:34 pm
110 street says:
did someone expect something different? Not me
Reply
November 9th, 2006
at 7:22 pm
Adam22 says:
my girl is a basketball fan and she bought the RA cd just because she’s a big fan of his. she said that at best buy they laughed in her face when she asked where it was!
seriously though YN, you should do posts like this more often, i LOLed hard at a bunch of these. soundscans in 2006 are a gauranteed laugh fest
Reply
November 10th, 2006
at 11:45 am
pileofshirt69 says:
I’m somewhat troubled by the omission of the AG album “Get Dirty Radio.” Did he somehow move negative copies?
Reply
November 10th, 2006
at 3:44 pm
Froman says:
Man…I guess Nas is right. HIP-HOP IS DEAD!!!
Or maybe it’s the dumb ass kids out here that think “Chicken Noodle Soup” is a great record. I feel sorry for this coutry when these kids become adults. Their kids will be mindless blobs and our government will be shit.
Reply
November 10th, 2006
at 5:21 pm
BIG BABY JIM JAM SLIM SLAM says:
CELLY CEL SHIT IS FIRE!!!
K FED IS BANGIN!!!
IM WAITING ON THAT NEW LUCY PEARL SHIT
Reply
November 10th, 2006
at 7:42 pm
DAVE B says:
YALL NEED TO LEARN HOW TO READ ….IT SAYS AT THE BOTTOM …UPDATE SOUNDSCAN HAD 2 LISTINGS AND ARTEST ACTUALLY SOLD 343 RECORDS …EVEN THO THATS STILL NOT GOOD THE DUDE SOLD MORE THAN 1 COPY
Reply
November 13th, 2006
at 9:00 am
lil ray says:
main fuck lil romeo ice fake ass i fuck with real pimps like flavor flav aw yeah i didnt forget about kevin federhoe fuck you sucker ass fagets
Reply
November 13th, 2006
at 4:45 pm
YA HEARD!!! says:
SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WE CAN’T KNOCK THE HUSSELL, BLACK WHITE OR CHINESE, BUT SERIOUSLY DIDN’T WILLIAM HUNG OUT SELL THESE PEOPLE…..NOW THATS A PROBLEM. THEY SHOULD REALLY THROW IN THE TOWEL ON THE RAP AND HIP HOP IN GENERAL…
Reply
November 17th, 2006
at 10:47 am
HipHop Is Dead says:
CL SMOOTH is WHACK!
I went to SOBs Monday night and he was madddd rude! I was going to buy the album because i heard trax on his website and no lie they are fire! But after that stunt, dude gets no love. thats why freddy played him and he probably didnt even get it. If CL SMOOTH reads this: UR ATTITUDE IS WHY YOU SOLD UNDER 1000 copies and K-FED sold more than you! Hip Hop is DEAD!
Reply
November 30th, 2006
at 8:29 pm
nigga wit a aditude says:
well guys I GEUSS we no one thing thats good about this ron artest has 343 family members
Reply
December 21st, 2006
at 5:07 pm
deaf blaze says:
damn this was a funny piece… po kfed
that mofo have it good too!
a rich pussy.. i take that back
a rich shaven eatable pussy and he didnt have to work he could stay home and let his lady run the street
but nooo he want to be the boss lol
b-spears wasnt havent that.. she called up whitney houston and she said gurl if u dont divorce his ass u gonna be broke like me for the rest of ya life… kick him to the curb like i kick crack to the curb … u got some coke for me?
lol
Reply
February 6th, 2007
at 1:26 pm
Dee says:
These cookies cutters are all the same.. Listen to some fresh new music
http://www.myspace.com/DeeBoon
First time ever, and I got 2 hits..
Reply
February 6th, 2007
at 1:28 pm
DeeBoon says:
These people are killing me… I can make hits in my sleep. http://www.myspace.com/DeeBoon I don’t even have any professional help.. Can you imagine what will happen when I do..
Reply
February 20th, 2007
at 9:57 pm
The Lord says:
well…I’m white haha
I don’t really fit…but I still think K FED is a fuckin bitch. Everyone should see that he’s ridin’ britney’s dick (money) till he realizes how ridiculous his album is.
And as for Artest…also ridiculous.
Honestly, I feel bad for Ice Cube.
Reply
June 3rd, 2007
at 9:17 pm
i'll s*** bag u says:
elliot wilson… whats up wit all dat cracker shit u talkin bout u fuckin mooli!! i’ll spit in ya face fagget!!!!
Reply
July 23rd, 2009
at 10:47 pm
Александр says:
Счастье - не награда за добродетель, а сама добродетель; не потому мы наслаждаемся счастьем, что обуздали свои страсти, а наоборот, наслаждение счастьем делает нас способными обуздать их. - Б. Спиноза
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