[Editor's Note: "Blogger's Note" has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice.]
Look what the fuck you started, Jackpot.
“I wanna smash her [Sarah Palin] just to wreck the whole McCain thing… It’d look like she was cheating and that’d be all crazy for the White House.” –Juelz Santana, SOHH.com
Right. And I wanna slam it to Beyonce because it would finally disband Destiny’s Child.
Come on, LaRon. When has a rapper ever had to play coy about his boneriffic desires to pillage and plunder the poontang? Alpa Chino love tha pussy. Sarah Palin looks like some kind of porno librarian. You don’t have to cover up being turned on by that Sheila Brovlovsky beehive.
At least we can derive some humor from this Santana/Palin ‘08 image. I mean, imagine Juelz trying to show Palin what the 80s like. You never know. He might could make homegirl feel like Miss Alaska 1984 runner-up again.
[Blogger's Note: That's a totally moot point. Had she won her state she'd only have gotten smashed by Vanessa "Miss New York" Williams like everyone else.]
Actually, Palin still answers every question like she’s got that icy, petrified whale splooge tiara and white woman perm (which has the opposite effect of Dark & Lovely, FYI).
I know I’m discussing semantics with a man whose favorite word is a single character in length, but damn. It wouldn’t “look like” Palin were cheating if she fucked a spider monkey like Juelz Santana. She’d just be cheating. However, it’s good to know that if needed he’d take one for the team and provide his best possible Obama campaign contribution. Even better still is knowing that Santana openly considers himself a political liability.
At least I didn’t have to say it.
Thanks for the wet dream plan, Juelz. Clearly this polar bear bitch is smear-proof, though. If she can have a pregnant teen daughter, a touchdown baby for said pregnant teen daughter, Planet Terror action photos and the shakings of a sold state plane, nothing as minuscule as an affair with the igloo cleaner some Harlem rapster is going to dampen support from the Republican Party.
It may get Juelz a Chilly Willy nut, but thatta ’bout it. Once a Republican supports you, that ass is D4L. Them niggas is more loyal than the fuckin’ Corleone Family. They’ll defend the most bass ackward candidate, so long as (s)he got that (R) behind their name when they speak on C-SPAN. Their motto has always been “It’s wrong until we do it. Then it’s some American shit.”
Hmm… Maybe he meant he’d fuck Bristol. Obviously she’s givin’ it up these days. Smart money says any Palin would be down for some “Oopsie, daise. Boo, I’m crazed. Choo-choo train Zulu cane.” You’d be surprised who’s listening to “Hey Ma” these days.
Owwwwwww.
I bet it was the bikini assault rifle picture that did it for Santana the Great. Juelz fucks with Lil’ Wayne, which means he probably listens to asinine songs like “Mrs. Officer,” which means he probably has a prison complex like most black men who are wholly and completely in control of the prison state in which they live.
Isn’t that right, OG Bobby J?
There could be more to this scenario than that White Fever alone. Perhaps Santana fucks with Palin because she’d add “jewelry ransom” to the laundry list of tax write-offs for the top 1%.
That’d be some pipeage all rapsters (and Jackpot) could line up behind. Juelz would be voted into a lifetime term as President of Rapster’s Union for his efforts if dude could pull that one off.
Jeans Upshaw could be his porn star name for the subsequent videos produced and sold.
Negro, please do this. I’m actually quite fond of the idea! This is the best shit Juelz has come up with since he figured out what rhymes with “bandana.”
Questions? Comments? Requests? Got Sarah Palin high on your Fantasy GILF cheat sheets? ron@ronmexicocity.com
P.S.: As long as we’re showing Oh Word love today, I’ll quote Rafi Kam. “Never forget.. Never forget how they used this day [9/11] against you.”
P.P.S.: Michelle Obama should be higher on your draft cards.
P.P.P.S.: SDN Tournament starts next week. We’ve got Bracketology coming Monday.
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September 12th, 2008
at 12:51 pm
nellz says:
Smart money says any Palin would be down for some “Oopsie, daise. Boo, I’m crazed. Choo-choo train Zulu cane.” You’d be surprised who’s listening to “Hey Ma” these days.
LOL..is that what that nigga said?..
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 12:59 pm
Ron Mexico says:
something to that effect on “Santana’s Town.”
the DIP, DIP… SET, SET song.
i wanna say there’s a “cuckamame” in there somewhere too. haven’t listened to the song since ‘03 or so.
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:15 pm
DETROIT says:
LMFAO!
(Comments wont nest below this level)
Reply here
September 15th, 2008
at 10:17 am
Tony Grand$ says:
Damn Mex, gotta nigga rollin early! U called dude a spidermonkey and said this the biggest shit for him since he found something to rhyme with ‘bandana’. Smfh!
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 12:56 pm
Pete says:
this blog wasn’t close to funny, its just random
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:02 pm
Some Guy From Toronto says:
“I mean, imagine Juelz trying to show Palin what the 80s like.” - HA!
Not being from the States this election doesn’t affect me a whole hell of a lot - but damn if isn’t entertaining!
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:02 pm
black&mild says:
Yo ron im now gonna lie palin kinda got that sexy math teacher thing going on and sad to michelle obama look like one of them ho’s that cut ur beef off when u sleep for cheating on u. she a scary lookin lady but i beat she’ll beat palin’s ass if they shot the fair one
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:04 pm
black&mild says:
*not gonna lie
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 7:07 pm
Big d*** Cheney says:
Yea i’d smash that bitch…not gonna lie.. she look some chick straight off of milfhunter.com
(Comments wont nest below this level)
Reply here
September 12th, 2008
at 1:11 pm
jojo says:
Just to speak on the SDN thing, I just saw an old Real Time with Bill Maher episode with Mos Def and the Great Cornell West and I gotta say Mos held his own…Make sure you check it out on youtube
Michael Dyson on Maher is dope too…
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:13 pm
king b says:
is this nigga getting paid for all this babblin’
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 2:19 pm
iLL G says:
yo dont do it Queen B. Mex is one of the only reasons i check the blogging section now, I’m sure with alot of other cats that thought this site was over with.
so respect the post, cus at least he is doing suttin with his life. you on the other hand, not so much. lmao aaaaand im spent
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:15 pm
Pierzy says:
What up Mex!
First off, I immediately thought this the first time I heard her: “Actually, Palin still answers every question like she’s got that icy, petrified whale splooge tiara and white woman perm.”
Secondly, it’s a shame that bikini/rifle picture is photoshop’d (check snopes) because she would totally do some shit like that.
And I can’t wait for the SDN. I’ma print out brackets and start a pool in my office…
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:18 pm
Og Bobby J says:
keep my name out your posts (in my best e-thug voice)
i got enough stanely dickriders out here already…running outta room on my dick, i am white ya kno.
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 5:58 pm
chad bro chill says:
ron stays in touch with his comment section hahah og bobby j should change his name to og loc from san andreas
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:24 pm
DETROIT says:
“I know I’m discussing semantics with a man whose favorite word is a single character in length”
You’re Crazy Man!
on another note, have you heard that cam pussy hole song? The dips were one of my favorite groups, they were kinda like wu-tang with less lyrical ability and more business savy, BUT WTF IS WRONG WIT CAM?
HE STAYS AWAY FOR LIKE A YEAR, AND COMES BACK WITH A PUSSY HOLE ANTHEM?
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:39 pm
Sach says:
Ron Mexico with the real talk (as usual). Thanks for the shout!
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:42 pm
that nigga says:
Thanks for the wet dream plan, Juelz. Clearly this polar bear bitch is smear-proof, though. If she can have a pregnant teen daughter, a touchdown baby for said pregnant teen daughter, Planet Terror action photos and the shakings of a sold state plane, nothing as minuscule as an affair with the igloo cleaner some Harlem rapster is going to dampen support from the Republican Party.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
You had me at Polar Bear bitch. HA!!!! And why the fuck my posts aint goin’ up the first time??
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 1:51 pm
that nigga says:
Wait, how high Is Juelz up on the SDN Brackets? He’s to scary to do any crime but he has to be kinda high (no pun) with that stupid “Aye” shit alone.
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 2:23 pm
Enlightened says:
Ron Mexico, you a stupid ass nigga for blogging about this. I saw the original quote on SOHH.COM. A question was posed to him about if he would rather hit Michelle Obama or Sarah Palin. Why you come with this bullshit trying to make it seem like he came out of the blue with that shit. I see you conveniently left the beginning of his quote off. You muthafuckas in the media are some childish, silly, narrow-minded, short-sighted, individuals. Most of y’all anyway
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 2:28 pm
DETROIT says:
DAMN CUZ! he’s just joking, this is xxl.com, not THE NEW YORK TIMES!
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 2:35 pm
anutha_level says:
“Actually, Palin still answers every question like she’s got that icy, petrified whale splooge tiara and white woman perm (which has the opposite effect of Dark & Lovely, FYI).”
…damn!
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 3:28 pm
Worley says:
Black & Mild: slow ya roll homes. Michelle Obama is definitely THE MILF.
Michelle O. >>> McCain’s Eskimo
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 3:35 pm
DETROIT says:
i strongly disagree
palin >>>>>>> kwame kilpatrick’s jumpoff >> >>>>>>>Kwame Kilpatrick’s Wife >>>>>M. Obama
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 3:38 pm
John Brown says:
Fuck College Football!!! Fuck the NFL!!! Fuck the MLB Playoffs!!! ITS ALL BOUT THE SDN TOURNAMENT BABY!!!
***Ron, sup, IM BACK!!! Been busy. But yo are you gonna drop a post on the NFL for not letting CHAD OCHO CINCO wear a jersey with his “new” last name on it. They gave a bogus excuse bout that Reebok is gonna take a $4 million dollar lost for all those #85 Johnson’s jersey and they dont want to make #85 OCHO CINCO jersey. Come on RON, that has NEGRO PLEASE written all over it. What you think. BTW, Ron I know you got a NEGRO PLEASE for Shawty Lo, dude said that the whole “beef” with T.I. was a “misunderstanding”. But he was all over the ‘net talking reckless. So are we gonna see a NEGRO PLEASE edition starting Shawty Lo?***
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 4:28 pm
anutha_level says:
i bet she got that good wet-squishy-fart tho…
and michelle obama got a HUGE booty! *i likes*
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 4:31 pm
geico lizard says:
good job ron juelz should have laid low after the london heist but i guess he isnt that smart. i agree with john brown you have to go in on shawty lo because a day after he says the beef with TI is dead i see the new TI video is in shawty lo’s hood with an entire song dedicated to dissing him. now he has to go on atlanta radio and say the beef is back in the pot.
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 5:28 pm
Shawty J says:
How can Juelz be entered into the SDN tournament. Juelz has done nothing to show any form of intellect in his music or interviews, which eliminates the S in DN which just leaves Santana as a DN, a dumb nigga.
This guy should really stop doing interviews.
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 6:04 pm
BigNat says:
“Oopsie, daise. Boo, I’m crazed. Choo-choo train Zulu cane.” WHAT THE FUCK
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 6:05 pm
Kane Corleone says:
That Palin chiccs old picture look kinda like Marcy from married with children,she’d still get it.when white people get perms they hair look like they got a Jheri curl.Yea just moved to cold ass MN,white chics is out here choosin.
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 8:07 pm
Benicio Del Thoro says:
Bristol Palin is bad, word to my mother! I’d like to get with her, and Sunset Thomas on some menagerie.
I’m winnin’ the SDN tourney! So get ready you yentas!
Reply
September 12th, 2008
at 9:42 pm
Jason Murk says:
I watched the interview on ABC and it got me thinking… How can a bitch give you brain if said bitch does not have a brain?
Just somethin to think about…
Reply
September 13th, 2008
at 6:16 pm
BRICKYARD PRO says:
OH SARAH LET ME LOVE YOU TILL YOUR JUICES COME
I WOULD DEFINITELY HIT SARAH AND MICHELLE GOT NICE LIPS AND JAWS GOD BLESS OBAMAH NO NEED TO PULL A BILLY CLINTON
Reply
September 14th, 2008
at 7:58 am
Prince Ceasar says:
I can’t believe that I actually used to listen to this lame nigga’s music in high school. Fuck this nigga.
Reply
September 15th, 2008
at 4:14 pm
Optimus Prime says:
I was just gonna read this, have a few chuckles and say to myself my customary “gee willickers, that Ron Mexico fella sure is comical!” but I noticed the reference to og bobby j and felt compelled to say something. and good call black & mild… michelle obama got so much makeup that you know underneath she’s gotta be a succubus or like a goblin or something… though i gotta say i was pretty jealous after barack gave her that ass slap immediately following the fist bump that may or may not be a terrorist signal
Reply
September 15th, 2008
at 4:20 pm
BGZ says:
Go Juelz, fuck that bitch; then I’ll start buyin whatever you put out and call a record.
And you can bet he woulda had Bristol if he toured Alaska.
Reply
September 18th, 2008
at 11:54 am
Al says:
Someone seriously thought that putting this entire website in caps lock was the best way to make it more “swaggalicious”? This shit is pathetic.
Reply