Cheez whiz > cauliflower > Wiz Khalifa

It was one thing when Wiz Khalifa was getting pulled over with enough weed to supply Burning Man, and he didn’t have the sense to say that it belonged to one of the guys who bring him his scarves and water, for when his brow gets sweaty and his throat gets parched. I heard he’s managing to sell out shows all over America, even though most people have never heard of him, so I’m sure he’s got enough money to make it as if that never happened. If he continues to come up with songs that white girls who don’t know from rap music (my favorite kind) like, I could see him having a career similar to Snoop Dogg, where he gets busted damn near as often as DMX, but mostly just for weed, and he never seems to go to jail. (Though of course Suge Knight would argue that that’s because Snoop Dogg has been telling on people.) He might want to seriously consider leaving Pittsburgh – which seems, on TV at least, like the kind of place where they actually play “Born to Run” every Friday at Miller Time – for California, where they don’t seem to care about weed. It’s only legal if you can get a prescription from your doctor, for your anxiety (due to the fact that weed is illegal), but i wonder how many people actually get busted for smoking weed without a prescription. It’s probably not as much of an issue there as it is in New York, where it’s necessary to bust people for Having Weed in Your Pocket While Black, to keep the streets safe for tourism.

But I digress.

Anyway, like I was saying, I’m not as concerned with Wiz Khalifa doing hard time for weed as I am with effect that it seems to be having on his judgment. He seems to be making a lot of bad decisions, and I’d hate see him end up, say, 10 or 15 years from now in the same place Nas in today, i.e. in debt up to his eyeballs to the IRS, long since out of good ideas, and the father to a kid with a ridonkulous name, with a woman who probably giving it out all over town and yet somehow still managed to take him to the cleaners. In addition to the pot bust, I see that Wiz Khalifa is being linked to a Joe Budden-like number of women who aren’t worth a shit. Which is not to say that I wouldn’t work them over, if given the opportunity. And, to his credit, it could be that he’s being set up with these women for PR purposes, Drake-style, to make it seem as if he gets a lot of pussy, when the truth of the matter is that he can’t get much of a rod, from all of that weed he smokes, even though he’s only like 22. (Nullus on speculating on another guy’s rod, or lack thereof.) If I had the number one song in the country, I’d purposely show up to parties stone sober, the better to be able to talk chicks into letting me have my way with them, and then actually be able to do it. Supposedly, that’s why Ted Nugent didn’t fuck with drugs and alcohol – though I heard that’s BS. Ever heard that song “Journey to the Center of the Mind?” Ever heard that song “Journey to the Center of the Mind”… on weed?

The saddest thing to watch has been the way Wiz Khalifa let Lil Wayne pwn him during this past Super Bowl weekend, taking his first real hit, which, serendipitously, was reaching the absolute height of its popularity right as the Steelers made it to the Super Bowl (and maybe due in part to the fact that the Steelers made it to the Super Bowl), and pulling a superior version seemingly out of his ass. Then the Green Bay Packers ended up winning, making Lil Wayne seem like even more of a genius. Not only had he come up with a ridonkulously cheap and novel way to get a shedload of radio spins and media buzz, at a time when he needed a hit like a crackhead needs a hit, but he also picked the right team. His “father” supposedly won a million dollar bet he placed, which he of course used to buy a car that cost a million dollars (or at least that what someone told him). That fucker! I don’t buy for a minute that Lil Wayne was such a big fan of the Green Bay Packers, until he saw an opportunity to add his name to the litany of bum rappers submitting their own version of “Black and Yellow.” Has anyone ever seen him in a Brett Favruh jersey, or one of those dumbass cheese hats? Who ever even heard of a black man being that into Green Bay. I checked the world’s most accurate encyclopedia just now, and it says that Green Bay is only 1.38% black. That’s even less than the college I went to, if you count the African kids. If I were Wiz Khalifa, I’d be highly upset.

  • truth

    this post is on point, wayne definetly took a jab at em. This post was hella funny.

  • DtheVirus

    lil wayne is an opportunist hes claimed he likes brett favre NOT the green bay packers, he even rooted for favres team, the vikings, instead of his hometown saints in the NFC championship game last year, so he really doesnt give a shit bout the packers he jus wants 2 use the situation 2 get sum attention since no1 gives a holy shit about his stupid ass 6’7 track

    PS GO EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • tstiffy

    Bol,
    Come out to the ‘burgh. It is absolutely the kind of town where you’ll hear “Born to Run” at Miller Time, not just on Fridays but maybe every day. It’s also the kind of town that you can drink $2 beers at said Miller Time, with a ton of less than intelligent white girls.

    Tell ‘em you’re the leading Black intellectual, and if that doesn’t work, you can claim to be also be one of Wiz Khalifa’s weed carriers. You’ll be bathroom banditing these broads like Ben in no time.

  • Don mcCaine

    Wiz is playing with the big boys now…#1 hit song…sold out tours…high profile performances…booty butt cheek chicks on the arm…

    the wolves are salivating…

  • Simple like ABC, 123

    Black & Yellow > Green & Yellow

  • Proffessah

    I read awhile back on Wayne’s ESPN posts he was Green Bay fan….

  • BIGNAT

    “pulling a superior version seemingly out of his ass” wanye’s versions was horrible he used the same breaks and in certian parts even the same words.

  • Q461

    I just think Wayne really likes the Packers. He was never a Saint’s fan. When they were shitty , niggaz in NO used to call them the Ain’ts. Even if the Steelers had won, Green and Yellow was an ill freestyle and I’m sure Wiz wasn’t hatin. He’s enjoyed every minute of publicity he’s getting off that track, including Wayne doing his version.

    Wiz is now a mainstream rapper. Black and Yellow went double plat. The Amber Rose thing drew more attention to him too. The gamble of touring on his own instead of opening for Drake def paid off as well. I’m just hoping for dudes sake he’s got another single as big as Black and Yellow in the tank, cause we’ve all seen rappers who have dropped monster singles only to fall off a little while later. ( Anyone remember Chingy-Right Durr?)

    I do kinda like his new joint with Too Short, that shits pretty dope.

    I’m curious to think how he’s gonna sell when Rolling Papers drops. How much yall speculating? I bet he goes gold, maybe better. All the Taylor Gang nerds are gonna come out and rep for dude , and theres alot of em. They even voted homey # 1 on some poll MTV had a little while back. Should be interesting…

  • mB

    Wiz came after Tyga, so Wayne gotta stomp him for that!

  • Jugo

    How this blogger thinks that Wayne’s version is superior to Wiz’s Black and Yellow is beyond me.

    • Patty Mac

      hahaha right?

    • freshyboi

      who fucking cares they are both wack songs over a wack played out beat

  • alister

    good post

  • Worley

    “He seems to be making a lot of bad decisions”

    Amber Rose would be at the top of that list. But I keep thinking that Wiz has a way to go before he can afford that type of woman. It seems more likely that “he’s being set up with these women for PR purposes.” For the sake of his financial well being (and health), I hope that’s true.

  • YourMom

    His decisions seems pretty on point to me thus far. Weed or not. Black And Yellow (Far)> Green And Yellow. This is why I hate blogs. Everybody has an opinion, bloggers mostly have retarded ones.

  • EEZ

    I don’t blame him for not supporting his home team New Orleans Saints. What did the ownership of the team do for the fans until they signed Drew Brees? Nothing. Damn, the owner was even gonna move the team after hurricane Katrina. GBs one of the most popular teams in the NFL too and always has been. It’s not that big of a stretch that Wayne was actually a GB fan before this year. You do know GB was the favorite going into the game too right? Cause it kinda seems like you’re saying Wayne was such a genius for picking the winner……everyone was picking GB (besides almost every rap artists), Vegas took a killing last Sunday.

  • http://www.datpiff.com/pop-mixtape-player.php?id=m0d0314e peelin_money

    man i was saying the same thing when i first heard that green and yellow. he hated on wiz and there is also some shit going on with wiz and drake too. wayne made jay-z type of move on wiz and i hope wiz get back at him and i listen to both

  • http://facebook delvon

    wiz true steelers fan black and yellow all day and lakers fan

  • Philldo

    Wayne has been quoted saying that Brett Favre is the greatest QB on earth. May just be a fan of football and whatnot but I believe that he actually is a fan of Green Bay…didn’t see him going crazy when the Saints made it last year. That should be evidence enough.

  • kenny

    YEA HMM WELL ITS SORTA TRUE WIZ SORTA BIT CALI SWAG WAY TOO MUCH. BUT THE TRUTH IS PITTSBURG AND CALI HAVE BEEN INTERTWINED SINCE 2001( THE ALUBM ) . AND BEFORE THAT SINCE SAM SNEED WAS ON THE ROW . BASICALLY G FUNK AS WE HEAR IT MORE OR LESS IS A CALI PITTS THING .

  • http://www.datpiff.com/ALee_Legendary_ALee_Legendary.m79764.html A.Lee Legendary

    you wanna hear that creative original out of this world black music??? click on my name and let your ears go through a musical journey

  • mav

    4 the record waynes version was better because he flipped wiz shit effectively and there were alotta catchy lines i aint a wayne fan i just know rap bcuz im better than most of yall favorite so i know about hot shit