The role Kanye was born to play

Yesterday, in this site’s news section, there was a post on how Kanye West is set to play a teh ghey character in a film produced by Jay-Z and Oprah Winfrey. Then, 15 minutes later, there was a another post, in which Kanye cleared things up, not about whether or not about whether or not Jay-Z and Oprah are paying him to play a fudge in a movie, but about a joke he attempted to make on Twitter about how a song by Britney Spears, of all people, is currently beating out the godawful “H.A.M.” for the title of #1 song on iTunes[1]. I’ve taken this to mean that Kanye really is set to play a teh ghey character in a film produced by Jay-Z and Oprah Winfrey.

Further reasons why this must be true:

(1) Kanye has been known to go to ridonkulous lengths to prove he isn’t a homophobe. As if.

Remember that bizarre MTV special from back in like, ’05, where he showed off some of the artwork he did when he was in high school, and then he lectured the camera on why it’s not cool to be a homophobe, mmkay? A teh ghey newspaper which has since gone out of business did a story on it, and used, as an example of the opposition, i.e. of someone who thinks it’s okay to be a homophobe, none other than yours truly. Maybe there could be a Bol character in this film. They could Denzel (of course) to play me. I’ll write the “dialogue.” Oprah, holler at your boy.

(2) The Illuminati has been known to force rappers to kiss other guys in movies.

Will Smith did it, back in Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon (nullus), or whatever it’s called. I can still remember, umpteen years after the fact,  watching a segment on Entertainment Tonight on how the role involved him kissing another guy and thinking that he must be secretly teh ghey, and this was a way for him to get away with kissing another guy in public, similar to how the suspect kid in your high school was always the main one wanting to play that game where you jerk off onto a cookie.

(3) There’s a connection between Jay-Z, Oprah, and Will Smith, who’s probably involved with this as well.

Jay-Z was the first rapper on Oprah since MC Hammer on Christmas Day back in like, 1990 (I remember that shit, too), and the next thing you know, I’m hearing he’s producing some teh ghey-looking Broadway show (redundancy alert) with Will Smith, and signing Will Smith’s daughter, who looks like she was put together in a centrifuge at the $cientology headquarters out in LA, to Roc Nation, alongside J. Cole and Jay Electronica. I even seem to recall hearing about the two of them going half on an investment in the beauty products company. Question: Why in the fuck would a guy want to invest in a beauty products company? I mean, I could see a chicken wing restaurant. Shout out to E-40.

(4) There’s no excuse to kiss another guy in a movie, unless you’re a fudge.

I’m assuming that’s the extent of the teh ghey activity in this movie, Stinkfingers Coltrane, or whatever it’s called, but who knows. All it says in the aforementioned post is that the role includes a homosexual love scene. Anyway, here’s why I don’t buy the argument that it’s homophobic to refuse kissing a guy in a movie. Yeah, straight guys kiss girls in movies all the time and it’s supposedly just acting, but who in their right mind really thinks that’s all it is? Not to ruin the game for straight male actors everywhere… but there’s no way a guy can even stand close enough to a woman to look down her shirt and not have it be at least kinda sexual, let alone kiss her. If there was, shouldn’t guys be allowed to fuck girls in (mainstream, boring) films? I rest on your face. No fishsticks.

(5) This is obviously part of Oprah’s plan to emasculate black men.

Who in the fuck has even heard of a teh ghey jazz band? Jazz musicians were probably even more straight than rappers. Not that that’s saying a whole lot, these days. You’d never see a jazz musician wearing a suit two sizes too small, to show off an outline of his crotch. Ever heard of a zoot suit? That’s probably because they didn’t want other guys checking out their junk while they were playing a solo. It’s a known fact (look it up) that Miles Davis had one foot in the jazz game and one foot in the pimp game throughout the 1970s and would smack the shit out of a woman.

[1] Doesn’t he know you can just buy a shedload of copies of your own song, like that kid Sam Adams? Or has Steve Jobs since put a safeguard in place against that? It’s been a while since I’ve heard anything from Sam Adams. Though I did hear, on NPR or some shit, about some black kid who was stealing people’s credit cards and using them to buy his own music.

  • these posts are racist

    XXL,

    Thanks for not posting my comments.

    • iAM

      *Yawn!*

  • these posts are racist

    Kanye, Oprah, Chicago, stand up!

    Byron, your homophobia is not funny…it’s a real problem in this country and is no different than any other form of bigotry. Equal rights and respect for ALL.

    • whoshotya

      blah blah blah pussy nasty blah blah blah human rights blah blah blah its natural blah blah blah 21st century blah blah blah

    • gaddic

      fuck you faggot
      gays should be murdered killed and extirpated from the planet
      yes im a homophobe!!!
      NO im not a servile religious believer!!!>
      i just hate gays……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….!
      LOL just fuckin with u gay supporters couldn’t care either way

      • GranWhiz

        Go figger…

  • Don mcCaine

    I said this yesterday in that news posting:

    “the sad part is the story about this band and their music will be overlooked because people will want to see how gay Kanye “acts””

    ^ was I wrong? Bol didn’t even note the part about the jazz band…

  • http://harlemworld.wordpress.com New HarlemWorld Order

    Kid Sister ft Kanye West – Pro Nails

    this is visual & audio proof that Kanye is either Bi or Gay

    he still a great artist though, no homo

  • http://twitter.com/Jamal7Mile Jamal7Mile

    “It’s a known fact (look it up) that Miles Davis had one foot in the jazz game and one foot in the pimp game throughout the 1970s and would smack the shit out of a woman.”

    Miles would slap the shit outta anyone, including police officers. One helluva trumpeter though. Oh, not that it’s important or anything but Miles was bisexual.

  • Q461

    Any of yall remember several years back when who “THE gay rapper”was speculation ran wild in hip-hop???

    Fast Forward a few years and we got….

    Wayne kissing Baby on the mouth
    Kanye ushering in the new hipster/euro style fashion to hip-hop and potentially kissing a dude on film
    Chingy with the tranny shit
    Ma$e with the tranny hookers
    Lil B threatening to rape niggaz
    Cats rockin too much pink (peace to Dipset and Charles Hamilton)
    Skinny jeans
    Minaj claming she thinks we will have an openly gay mc in her lifetime
    Xzibit callin Diddy out for bein fruity
    Rumors of Will Smith and Jada going both ways…

    Just ironic to me….

  • Bol has been exposed

    “similar to how the suspect kid in your high school was always the main one wanting to play that game where you jerk off onto a cookie.”

    Bol, what the FUCK are you talking about? I think you just exposed yourself. Who the fuck plays a “game” (presumably, with other dudes) where they jerk off on a cookie? I can see jerking off on a cookie as an act of kink, to get an extreme pr0n-level bitch to eat it (some innovative pr0n director should jump on that), but standing around with a bunch of dudes, giggling watching each other jerk off on a cookie, is TOTALLY “GHEY”.

    • Guest

      Bol grew up with white boys, obviously.

  • Mingus was a G

    Charles Mingus used to beat the shit outta people on stage for missin’ notes and fuckin up chord changes.

  • Don mcCaine

    “Minaj claming she thinks we will have an openly gay mc in her lifetime”

    ^ wouldn’t that be her? could’ve swore i saw rhianna say she’s minaj’s sex partner…and you forgot nore stating skateboard p’s a fudge packer…

    • Q461

      lol yeah homey I thought I saw in an interview Minaj was bi…in any case, she would be able to get away with it before any male MC… lest we forget about Queen Latifah who heads have been thinking is a lesbian her whole career….

      I didn’t know Nore called out Pharrell though…not really suprised though…funny to think how some of cats favorite MC’s are suspect….

  • pruppert

    Miles Davis tested Bill Evan’s sexuality as a joke before he got to join the band. Case and point, from Miles’ bio:

    “when Bill Evans…first got with the band….i told him, ‘Bill you know what you have to do, don’t you, to be in this band?’ He looked at me puzzled and shit and shook his head and said, ‘No, Miles, what do i have to do?’ I said, ‘Bill, now you know we all brothers and shit and everybody’s in this thing together and so what i came up with for you is that you got to make it with everybody, you know what i mean? You got to fuck the band.’ … He thought about it for fifteen minutes and then came back and told me, ‘Miles, I thought about what you said and I just can’t do it, I just can’t do that. I’d like to please everyone and make everyone happy here, but I just can’t do that.’ I looked at him and smiled and said, ‘My man!’”

  • JugularKill

    WHO EVER WROTE THIS BLOG IS AN IDIOT….

    “ILLUMINATE MAKES BLACK MEN ACT IN GAY FILMS”???? WE MITE AS WELL BLAME ILLUMINATE FOR EVERYTHING WE DON’T LIKE IN THIS WORLD …..HOW OLD ARE YOU TO BELIEVE IN THAT BULLSHIT? I’M SURE YOU’R NOT 13.. GROW UP MAN.
    .
    .
    PEOPLE LIKE KANYE BECAUSE “HE SPEAKS HIS MIND” HE DOESN’T THINK BEFORE HE SPEAKS.
    .
    HE COULDN’T HIDE HIS THOUGHTS ON TAYLOR SWIFT OR GEORGE BUSH YOU THINK THIS NIKKA GONNA HIDE THAT HIS GAY?
    .
    .
    KANYE WOULD BE THE FIRST RAPPER TO ADMIT HE WAS GAY, HE LIKES FASHION, ANDRE 3000 WORE SKIRTS TO HIS SHOWS, PRINCE WEARS WOMEN LOOKING CLOTHES…NIGGAZ LIKE THAT JUST EXPERIMENT.
    .
    .
    .
    BABY & LIL WAYNE KISS WITH TONGUE & ADMITTED IT & EVERYONE ACTS LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. SO FUCK U ALL HYPOCRITES, THEY’RE THE REAL GAY RAPPERS.
    .
    .
    IF KANYE TAKES THE PART…. GOOD FOR HIM
    .
    .
    JUST BECAUSE HE PLAYS A GAY GUY DOESN’T MEAN HE HAS TO KISS SOMEONE.
    .
    .
    AND IF HE DOES KISS SOME NIGGA…I DON’T GIV A FUK.
    .
    .
    MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN THE WIRE IS OMAR…. YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN THE WIRE IS OMAR. BUT THE REAL ACTOR ISN’T GAY.

    .
    .
    .
    AS BLACK MEN WE NEED TO GROW THE FUCK UP, STOP BELIEVING IN FAIRYTALES AND GOSSIP AND ACT LIKE INTELLIGENT HUMAN BEINGS RATHER THAN RETARDS WHO ALL THINK ALIKE.

  • dome shot

    “This is obviously part of Oprah’s plan to emasculate black men.”
    Hilarious and true. Why she even cast a rapper instead of an actor is point plus at her hidden agenda given her misgivings about the blatant misogyny in hip hop.

  • ghettoblasta

    kanye is a faggot.

  • these comments are repetitive

    For anyone who “missed” TPAR’s comment:

    1. Blanket statement about the general decline of Bol’s posts, which says something about a person who would continually come back to something one finds subpar, simply to comment on it

    2. Comment attacking Bol’s viewpoint about subject matter in regards to race/gender/sexual orientation

    3. Specious claim about why rapper being attacked is, in fact, “good”

    4. Last but not least, link to a terrible verse he “killed”, because he apparently can’t set up a Tumblr so people can ignore his terrible music, like normal (and even extra-normally stupid) people can apparently do

    You lost, TPAR. LOST.

    • these posts are racist

      Thanks for the love fam! I’ve actually contributed a lot here and developed some friendships from XXL, including, a friendship with Killa Mike, Ron Mexico and some former employees, so no, I win, win, win…like my boy Khaled.

      Secondly, my music is hot…you don’t like it, don’t click, but for those who love Hip Hop, I’ll keep coming…

      And I think you’re a fan, that quite a comment directed at me, i’m flattered!

      • J Wright

        I was listening to your songs and was wondering why you are not signed.

        • these posts are racist

          Thanks for the love Fam. For the record, I’m not trying to get signed. I actually have mad contacts in the music industry, but I only do rap for the Art. I practice law and will be representing artists as an agent soon, but I only rap for the love and art.

      • Q461

        Ain’t it like a nigga to hate on a dude just for hatin sake? Dude probably never spit a bar in his life, yet he feels the need to diss another brother who is just rhyming for the fun and love if it, just to feel better about himself…

        Fuck the haters. TPAR go for yours homey

        • these posts are racist

          Q, i see you homey! As always, thanks for the knowledge…i learn more from you/Don’s comments than I do any other “article” or whatever on Hip Hop.

          One.

  • ZAE CARTIER

    YEA, WORD IZ BOND. OPRAH PERPETUATES THE HOMO SCENE. DA’ TRI-FECTA, WIL+JAYZ+OPRAH=ILUMINATED BLACK CELEBZ SELLIN’ THERE SOUL 4 A WHITE MAN’S WORLD. MONEY AIN’T ERTHANG. BUT UR SOUL IZ PRICELESS, CELEBRITIES GET TOO BORED WIT’ NORMAL THINGZ, SO THEY GO 4 THE NEXT HIGH, LIKE A JUNKIE CHASING HIS NEXT FIX. PHUCK B.E.T., OPRAH, WILL, COSBY, JIGGA, ALL U SELL OUT SONZ OF B#@!*$. OPRAH WOULD RATHER BUILD A SKOOL N AFRIKA, THAN HELP HER OWN HOMEFRONT.

  • nonymus

    i hope they ain’t paying you for these blogs. stop being ignorant any real man hiphop dont care about another man gay or not. u must be in the closet Bol…

  • MindState

    Bol you a funny muthafucka for real, but listen man I’m bumpin Common’s Finding Forever and I dont care what nobody says Kanye is one of the illest on the beats.. Like for real I used to not really hold him in such high regards musically but lately man I just been on some Kanye shit.. Peace tho.

  • Niggerguy

    a

    a

    a

    a

  • caino

    Damn, y’all need to get over this gay/straight shit!! it dont even matter!! U think there isnt a gay rapper out right now?? u think there aint gay sports start playing for your fave basketball/football team!! just stay in denial!!

  • OG Matt Herbz

    What is this “gay” that everyone keeps referring to? Are you serious that some men fuck other men’s anuses? Isn’t that where the shit comes out? Why would you want to do that?

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • Master CHeef

    OG Matt Herbz,

    You know how when something is really lame, you will say that it sucks dick. Well, this “gay” thing that the people speak of, is that. “Gay” people suck dick. Literally!

  • Celebrityrappersrbitchasses

    The muthers crying like bitches about Bol should just shut thafuckup. Lotsa peeps aint care if Kanye fucks JayZ and Rick Ross together, with Beyonce and Amber Rose thrown in, they just tired of Kanye saying in magazines that he aint gay, give him respect yada yada.

    Ya behave like a bitch Kanye, a bitch is a bitch. No respect due to a confused Black man who behaving like a whitegirl.

    When these feminine rappers say that shit all the time they mean that they bisexual, not gay. They need to stop their crying and lying and come out the muthafucking closet and let their fans know who they are and the fans decide if they gonna support them.

    The late brother Pimp C said that, his point was stop doing that shit and hiding it, fronting with an image that aint true. Rappers wanna be bisexual/gay thats their choice but don’t fucking keep lying to sell records. We don’t have to accept what these muthas do, they can do it but they aint getting props for it.

    Whys anyone surprised Jay Z and Oprah wanna make these movies? Y’all blind if you aint see why they interested in it. Jay Z and Larry Johnson were getting it on says some sources. When you get that fame you gonna do shit and then the real powers be blackmailing you. Thats how they got their hold on em. Oprah’s been heard about for years, Will Smith, Jamie Fox, Diddy etc. Its always they say they aint gay but they bi sometimes, gay other times.

    Y’all need to stop crying cause straight Black men aint want these sweet Black men as role models, let them do that shit but stop pushing it on confused Black kids and teenagers.

  • Kingroy

    ^smh. You sound homophobic, and like you’re crying. Wtf seriously? And your name? -.- Damn dude/dudette. No one is “pushing” “gayness” on teenagers. Well except teenagers.

  • http://welders-mig.com/ tig welder

    Hi, this can be a great posting i think. i truly appreciate with you and i would like to learn more aobut this post. Thanks. :)