Crazy rappers? Who’d a thunkit!

When I heard, the other day, that Gucci Mane had been committed to a mental institution, and Charles Hamilton is currently undergoing a mental evaluation to determine whether or not he’s fit to stand trial for trying to beat up a cop out in Ohio somewhere, I was concerned that there wasn’t a third example of a rapper being officially declared batshit that would make it a trend, per the New York Times’ rule (which I also try to live by)about there having to be three separate, distinct instances of any given phenomenon in order to declare it a trend. Then I was reminded that they finally tossed DMX in a looney bin down in Arizona, after arresting him like a million times, finding umpteen dead dogs buried in the back yard, that time he went off on a judge in court, that time he made up a fake name to check into a hospital, supposedly to avoid paying the bill, that time he was pretending to be an FBI agent, so on and so forth.

It’s like it somehow just occurred to 5-0 that they could start throwing these rappers in mental institutions, rather than arresting them over and over again. There may have even been a secret memo that went out, like that time the FBI tried to convince NWA that it’s illegal to make a song about killing the police, even though I’m pretty sure it doesn’t say anything about that in the Constitution. They probably figured NWA was black and hence didn’t pay much attention in high school, if they were there at all, except for Ice Cube, who I heard was secretly middle class. To their credit, I bet Dr. Dre and Eazy E were shaking in their boots, or whatever gangbangers wore in LA circa the mid ’80s, until Ice Cube explained that to them.

My guess is that 5-0 can no longer afford to follow rappers around, like hot chicks at the mall, and constantly arrest them for bullshit crimes like having a gun without any bullets in it, and a shedload of drugs that were clearly for personal use. I heard in some places, they can hardly afford to have very many cops on staff. If you call 911 over in East St. Louis, and it’s for anything other than the most severe of crimes, they just hang up on you. If it’s a rape-rape in progress, they might even explain to you that you’re best off not fighting it and letting the guy finish. If he does, and he gets any of it on you, maybe you can bring it down to the hospital the next day and they can run it through a database of known sex offenders.

I happen to know, from reading an interview with a pr0n chick (for the purposes of feminism), that once 5-0 declares you batshit, they can just toss you in jail for no apparent reason, and they can keep you there for as long as you want. There’s some law, or legal classification or some such, called 5150 where, even if you haven’t actually done anything illegal, 5-0 can toss you in the pokey, for fear that you might cause harm to yourself or others. They could just be like, “That motherfucker looks crazy. We’d better send him to jail.” And then once you get in there, they can give you some sort of bullshit test, like in One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest, to determine if you need to be permanently committed. Just because it didn’t seem crazy at all to you, with that little red beaver right there in front of you, the fact that she was 15 notwithstanding.

And therein lies the rub. No R. Kelly. Is there anyone in rap music that doesn’t look at least kinda crazy. And I’m just talking about how these people look, mind you, not anything they’ve actually done. Walking around with their pants hanging off of their asses, wearing ridonkulous jewelry that looks like it might have belonged to someone’s grandma, and getting all kinds of weird shit tattooed on your face could all be construed as signs of a crazy person by someone who wasn’t aware that those are all important parts of a creative subculture. Then there’s the music itself, which genuinely is crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the process of declaring Gucci Mane crazy involved listening to that song “Lemonade,” or whatever it’s called. On paper, I’m sure those lyrics come off like the rantings of one of the crazy homeless guys who sleep on the HVAC grates outside the Kiel Center, and carry around a big pickle jar to take a shit in. No homo. Jay-Z would probably be considered the most normal, reasonable rapper of them all, and he’s constantly referring to himself as Jay Hova.

This could be bad news, if the economy continues on the same course it’s been on for the past couple of years now. It’s already been revealed, on an episode of Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura, that there really is a such thing as FEMA Camps. We were all kinda wondering how they were going to round us up and relocate us there, since that’s ostensibly illegal. Maybe tossing all of these rappers in mental institutions is part of the plan. Just like how, if you’re an Arab, they can ship you off to Gitmo and hold you there for a while, if not indefinitely, even if you haven’t done anything, to see where you fit into the matrix. Don’t be surprised if you start seeing a lot more black dudes committed to mental institutions, just because they look, sound and act like crazy people.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XspYmOKSghk these posts are racist

    Another random/incoherent drop with a few funny lines. Try again man. Click my name for some real hip hop, I kill the Big Pun “It’s so Hard” beat. Judge for yourself…Not many people can flow on a Pac/Pun/or Big beat and do it justice. I kill this Pun beat.

    • anutha_level

      yup, incoherent indeed

    • Pompous? Moi?

      You’re so full of shit, you pompous prick. You can’t rap for shit. And let’s face it, Bol blogs better than you rap.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/EmceeLocksmith?feature=mhum these posts are racist

        Word? The majority of the regular commenters disagree with you and think my raps are tight, like Byron’s dirty underwear..(No Hanes).

        Byron is a dope blogger…no disputing that…and is funny, much of the time. But he obviously writes a certain way, certain times, to illicit the type of comments he receives. It’s part of the game. He gets it. We get it. You don’t.

    • http://maniakmuzik.com Gemz

      170 views & you just put it up on jan 6th? Not bad.

    • white dude

      Keep it up Bol you’ll be next!

  • caino

    ‘I bet Dr. Dre and Eazy E were shaking in their boots, or whatever gangbangers wore in LA circa the mid ’80s, until Ice Cube explained that to them.’ lol classic.

    Yo, TPAR, good drop man, l was feeling that shit.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxz-FCcr5UU these posts are racist

      Appreciate the love bro! I also recently did a freestyle (first verse written, second off the dome) to that Fort Minor beat “remember the name”, it’s on my page…check it out bro. (click my name for the direct link). But the Big Pun one was a straight off the dome/from the heart flow.

      I think they were wearing Chucks in LA circa 90 somthing?

  • texasmade

    dont call me crazy!!!

  • BIGNAT

    “If it’s a rape-rape in progress, they might even explain to you that you’re best off not fighting it and letting the guy finish. If he does, and he gets any of it on you, maybe you can bring it down to the hospital the next day and they can run it through a database of known sex offenders.”
    LMAO!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/Jamal7Mile Jamal7Mile

    Nice flow TPAR! But I gotta agree with Bol that there does appear to be a pattern of entertainers opting for “in-patient stay” instead of prison. Not sure if I’d call it a trend since entertainers have been going to the nuthouse for ages. Even rehab centers for alcohol abuse are considered “mild nuthouses” for “mild nuts.”

    Cats need to leave that hard stuff alone. Back in the 80′s when I first saw Flavor Flave looking all crazy in Eric B. and Rakim’s “I Ain’t No Joke” video (YouTube it) I knew that cat was hopped up on some form of coke. ODB, DMX, Eminem, Onyx, Biz Markie, a younger Busta Rhymes… sometimes you just KNOW something ain’t right.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XspYmOKSghk these posts are racist

      Thanks homeboy, been a minute since I seen you on here. I hear you…I think CH is really crazy, or doing a good job of acting crazy. But Gucci’s situation seems to be a legal strategy…”your honor, my client is suffering from a substance abuse and his mental state has been comprimised…give him some treatment and send him back into the world to make horrible rap music.”

  • http://chrislterry.com CT

    wasn’t u-god diagnosed with schizophrenia recently, as well?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XspYmOKSghk these posts are racist

    “if you’re an Arab, they can ship you off to Gitmo and hold you there for a while, if not indefinitely, even if you haven’t done anything, to see where you fit into the matrix.”

    Correction: They HAVE ALREADY shipped of thousands of Arabs and Muslims to Gitmo and other prisons around the country and the world without any due process…

    And Obama has done nothing to change any of this, he is continuing and expanding the Bush era policies. There is no difference between Obama and the rest of them.

  • Frankie2Fast

    BOL – Fuck ‘em good, fuck ‘em long and fuck ‘em hard…people love to hate when they have anonymity. You are the reason XXL gets half its viewers. No one said you had to elighten us with every post, but you damn sure entertain……

    TPAR –

    You are dedicated, passionate and have some talent. However, to say you killed a Pun beat that you claim not too many people except Big and Pac etc. can kill is not really valid. I see you post all over this website and I often listen to your drops. Like I said, you are quite good for an amateur. However, while Hip-hop may be about braggadocio , it would be prudent to ease the claims of greatness and say you’ve been working hard and will only get better. I don’t wanna hate cuz you don’t deserve it and I won’t kiss your ass cuz you don’t deserve that either. Just a thought. Good luck to you homie….I’ll keep an ear out.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XspYmOKSghk these posts are racist

      Appreciate the comment homey. NOTE: I did not say I killed Pun on his own ish…I just said i killed the beat, ie I did it justice…rapped from the heart, etc. I did not meant to imply that I think I’m better than the great one, PUN. My bad for the confusion homey.

      And for the record, I do this for the love. I have not made a dime of rapping nor am I even trying to. I have been rapping since I was a kid and just want to share some of my work with my XXL Fam.

      Again, appreciate the respectful comment and the fact that you listen to my ish…i’ll be careful in my wording next time though…it’s all about learning from each other. Progress homey.

      And I agree with you re: Byron…I appreciate his humor and the forum he creates…he also drops real talk mixed in the bull/sensational stuff…no disagreement with your points there playboy.

      One.

  • Frankie2Fast

    Good Looking out man. And my bad, you were correct in stating you said you only killed the beat NOT Pun. I scratch some and I too only do it for the love, always have and always will. I would never try to make money off it, I’m not good enough anyway. Mad respect, plus you’re a lwayer right? So I’m sure funding through rap is not needed. Keep it strong.

    2Fast

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XspYmOKSghk these posts are racist

      All G fam. Yes, I’m a practicing lawyer, but it’s still a grind, not lik you see in the movies…

      I don’t think it’s a matter of being “good enough”…The number of rappers who make “a lot” of money is small to begin with. And among those who make “a lot” of money, there are those who are great and those who are wack…and there are plenty more great emcees who never got paid.

      The Hip Hop game is the most shady industry in a very shady entertainment industry. These cats ain’t eatin’ like they claim to be…

  • Worley

    “except for Ice Cube, who I heard was secretly middle class.”

    There’s the suggestion of a false dichotomy there as if the middle class doesn’t feel the angst or engage in the criminality that NWA expressed. Compton, Lynwood and Inglewood were supposed to be middle class alternatives to LA. We see how that turned out. The middle class is just as cut throat and vulnerable as the working class. Criminality and vulnerability don’t know class boundaries.

  • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine

    i remember when i 1st started checking for XXL, cats were trying to run tpar off the grid. now cats see he’s just a smart dude who freestyles & comments ’cause of the love for Hip Hop. that’s what’s up.

    youtube.com/watch?v=e1kC3lUb8Gc

    ^ try that beat…

    as for Gucci, i’ve been saying that body he caught is haunting him…and that mental lockup ain’t no joke yo…n^ggas is REALLY crazy in there…hope all them cats find their way though…

  • Q461

    ODB def was nuts. DMX too and it looks like Charles Hamilton def has some issues. Gucci may have a few screws loose… G-Dep obviously had dem dusted demons for years since he caught that body…..Peace to the original nutcase Kool Keith.
    Yall remember the video with ODB and Busta in the straight jackets????

    Any yall hear this Drake track called You Know, You know?? Drizzy went in on that shit,, dude can really spit when he wants.

    tpar you should check the instrumental to that and also Wayne’s 6-7….

  • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine

    yo…new brainfood up…

  • Selfish Gene

    Most of the BET/MTV rappers should be locked up, for crimes against humanity. They talk about themselves in third person because, the first person ain’t worth shii.

    Isn’t being a little crazy a pre-requisite to being an artist?

  • avenger xl

    Gucci is playing crazy to avoid being locked up for a nuch longer time. Was he failed by some school system? yes thats obvious in his whole persona unless that is as fack as the Lil Jon character on the chapelle show (i.e. speaks proper and elogant off camera). Another big unless is if he did sherm. Other than that Gucci is just pulling the crasy card to stay out of jail.

    Charles Hamilton was said to have some mental issues before. He was also said to have done various drugs on the reg so it could be legit from charlie milk toast. However it also could be him attempting to get a do over for the dumb decessions he made going in. He was one of the few artists that truely built a following through the net and caught the hipster buzz on the front in. Then sqandered it all by making series of dummy moves like running up on seasoned battle rappers and confronting some chick he had stouped and getting mushed in the face. The final straw being the whole dilla co-signed my album ish then the fall out and downward spiral. So as I said I can see how the actions above can be beleived to be those of the mentally challegened or the young and reckless without direction. Time will tell on the Charlie milktoast saga but Gucci is playing crazy to stay out of jail because he is still doing dumb street shit with idiots that he needs to separate himself from.

  • pharoethegreatest

    Worly, truer words have never been spoken man. Oh, and why do folks try to imply that because they dont make money off of something, they love it more?

    Dude, if somebody offered you 50 stacks for that verse you’ll rush that shit quit frontin. Word lifer.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XspYmOKSghk these posts are racist

      Never implied that homey. If i were able to make a long term living off of making my rap music, yes, I would do that…but the fact that I have recorded over 400 freestyles, and have been rapping since I was a kid, without earning a penny, demonstrates that I do it for the love. It doesn’t mean that those who profit from rapping don’t love it…

      Logic homey, logic.

  • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine@gmail.com

    yo avenger…

    you might be right…but i’ve heard a lot of mental spots are WORSE than some lockups fam…i ain’t neva heard a cat say they would rather go to bellvue than rikers…and a lot of them come out more addicted to them drugs than the other ones they were taking…

  • $yk da Don

    and don’t try that gmail…i need to type w/o a blunt in the hand…

  • EReal

    Ice Cube seems middle class enough. I mean sheit he’s produced all kinds of movies and tv shows that supposedly portray the african american middle class. (TBS) Even the Friday movies seemed more middle class then “ghetto” (i.e. the wire), especially the second Friday movie.

  • roof

    how did you write an article on rappers being loony and leave foxy brown out?

  • that nigga

    To their credit, I bet Dr. Dre and Eazy E were shaking in their boots, or whatever gangbangers wore in LA circa the mid ’80s, until Ice Cube explained that to them.
    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    HAHAHA!! I needed that this morn!!

  • that nigga

    I heard in some places, they can hardly afford to have very many cops on staff. If you call 911 over in East St. Louis, and it’s for anything other than the most severe of crimes, they just hang up on you. If it’s a rape-rape in progress, they might even explain to you that you’re best off not fighting it and letting the guy finish. If he does, and he gets any of it on you, maybe you can bring it down to the hospital the next day and they can run it through a database of known sex offenders
    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    Seriously tryin not to laugh. But thats some funny shit, or not.

  • combatjackass

    you article suck big time you are probably some idiot who has not achieved anything in life.venting his anger at the wrong pple.if there is anyone that is crazy is you

    combact jack=the human embodiement of trash,garbage,putrid