Blame it on the Hennessey

Who could have guessed that a marriage that began underneath a giant Hennessey bottle would lead to a knock down, drag out brawl at a rap concert?

Er, allegedly, I should say. I can’t say for certain that Talib Kweli got kicked out of his own album listening party (which I guess means he has a new album out?) for getting into a wrestling match with his wife, because honestly, I wasn’t there. All I have to go on is the report in the New York Post, which could be BS, because the New York Post has been known to throw rappers under a bus, at least as far back as the fourth Public Enemy album, which, believe it or not, was 20 years ago (check a calendar), trying to make it seem as if Professor Griff is batshit crazy, Chuck D has a tendency to talk out of his ass, and Flavor Flav is an embarrassing crackhead. Pshaw! Kweli himself vehemently denies that any such altercation took place.

I’m not sure if he also denies the part where he supposedly joked, in front of an audience, thanking sponsor Hennessey for paying for his wedding, or otherwise he wouldn’t have got married. I just so happened to see where he copped a plea wrt the actual wrestling match the other day on Twitter, while I was checking to see if any famous people had died. I was like, Tha fuck? Talib Kweli put a shoe on his wife? Please tell me Hennessey was involved. Then I checked, and, wouldn’t you know, Hennessey was involved. Then I went back to whatever it was I was doing, i.e. working like a Hebrew slave (not here, obviously), and eating and drinking like it was going out of style. I didn’t even really get a chance to fap the way you’d like to during a holiday weekend. All that food and alcohol must have had an effect on my libido. Not to let you in on any more than you need to know about me.

Anyway, this happened a good week or so ago, which wasn’t even this year. I’m not about to dig through several pages of updates on Talib Kweli’s profile (nhjic) the way I did that time I was trying to find where Jean Grae – who, oddly enough happens to be on Talib Kweli’s label – was trolling for money to buy alcohol. If she hasn’t already, she might want to check with her boss about receiving a regular, free shipment of Hennessey. Which would serve the dual purpose of helping avoid the embarrassment of begging in public for money to buy alcohol, as well as helping to promote Hennessey – which is apparently what conscious rap is all about in 2K10 2K11. It’s not like she has an endorsement deal with Aristocrat, or whatever brand of bottom shelf vodka is common in New York. #corporatesynergyfail

According to the item in the New York Post, Kweli’s wife, DJ Eque (no, really), got pissed off when she saw him hollering at some other chicks, and probably also because of that shit he said about Hennessey paying for his wedding. She may have taken the sight of him talking to other women, along with his comment about not wanting to get married in the first place, as an indication that he didn’t want to get married in the first place. You can see why a woman might get upset about some shit like that. And you can also see why he’d want to downplay it in the media. It sounds like this wrestling match between the two of them was kinda onesided, on her part – she ran up on him, tackled him, the two of them fell and knocked over some glasses of Hennessey, and that’s why they got kicked out. If I were him, and he’s really serious about not wanting to get married in the first place (maybe he was drunk at the time and didn’t realize what he was doing), I’d see about getting a divorce on the grounds of reverse spousal abuse. What’s the likelihood, really, that this is the first time she’s laid hands on him? Plus, he’s got well documented evidence of this most recent incident, which seems to be the key to a comeup for the guy in divorce proceedings. Cases in point would include Britney Spears’ babies’ father (my idol), and that guy who got his ass whooped on an episode of 16 and Pregnant.

Those damage control tweets suggest to me that Kweli thinks this is something that could end well, but he might want to take it from someone who’s been drinking long and steadily enough that I’m capable of making good decisions, while drunk, about most things except for maybe grammar. If your wife tried to wrestle you, thus causing you to get kicked out of your own album release party, this is not the last time she’s gonna do something that makes you wish the marketing department at Hennessey hadn’t been so generous. It’s not so much a matter of whether or not this relationship is coming to an end, it’s whether it’s coming to an end now, when there’s a good chance she won’t be able to get her hands on any of that Blacksmith money, whatever amount that would be, or later, when she might try to make it look like you were the one that was the aggressor.

  • http://www.twitter.com/Pierzy Pierzy

    I tried to get XXL to sponsor my wedding…

    It didn’t happen.

    • abdulnasir

      FUNNY!

  • Saratoga N. Blake

    When are people going to catch on Talib ain’t that bright, and probably should have gone to college?

    Same goes for ceaseless complainer and Blacksmith Charity Case, Jean Grae. Yeah, Jean, it’s everyone fault but that of your own boring ass music.

    As for Blacksmith Money, I bet it ain’t even BGM money after the accountants are through.

    At least Mos Def can act!

    • Big Bill

      How does it feel to take it in the ass?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WK1Ymipoe0 these posts are racist

    People with potentiol for greatness and impact often fall victim stupid behavior…more importantly, cats like Talib seem to give themselves a pass or rationalize their bad behavior because they tend to be “positive” in much of thier raps. Kweli was always wack to me…the dude can’t spit.

    Fuck Byron and wack ass Talib…click my name for a hot version of “Ti’s ‘all she wrote’”.

    • TPAR is Wack

      Kweli was always wack to me…the dude can’t spit.

      True enough. But you can’t spit either.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WK1Ymipoe0 these posts are racist

        You sound like a hater to me homey…did you actually listen to any of my tracks?

  • Selfish Gene

    Conscious rappers are terrible at choosing their women.
    Mos Def married that evil skripper, who wrote a book about him being kinda like Ike.
    Eryka Badu had Common walkin’ around celebate in crochet trousers.
    Talib married a DJ who don’t know how to act in public. Ain’t she the same chik that slapped fire outta him at Fifty’s party?

    • worldizmine

      I was thinking the same thing!ha!

  • thoreauly77

    yes, selfish, thats the same incident that popped into my mind.

    its not like most marriages arent a bit fucked up though; its just that when you are a celebrity, your actions are far more scrutinized.

    for example, the new york post didnt write a piece about bol overeating and pissing himself over the holidays, yet i am sure that must have been embarrassing as well.

    • that nigga

      oh shit, I pissed myself. Fuckin Henny!!! smh at myself. But I had a fuckin ball New Years Eve.

  • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine

    IDK tpar…Talib tore up ‘Palookas’…here’s a task, go hit that track better than him & post that for the heads to judge…let’s be objective y’all, no personal darts & sh^t…

    this blog just made me want to open up the ‘Blacksmith Presents:’ mixtape Talib dropped a lil’ while ago…

    • thoreauly77

      fly the knot FTW

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WK1Ymipoe0 these posts are racist

        thoreaully! what up? “fly the knot”? que?

        • thoreauly77

          whatup tpar. that was a typo on my part. “fly that knot” was a song featuring DOOM from one of blacksmiths early comps. came out right around dangerdoom.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WK1Ymipoe0 these posts are racist

    Don, happy new year big homey. I know the track…and I’ll take you up on your challenge…anyone got an instrumental of this song handy?

  • Stan

    BOL where have YOU been !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • illmatic

      was wondering the same damn thing

  • Q461

    Happy new year yall.

    Palookas is dope…so is Cold Rain with that Ski Beatz production. Gutter Rainbows coming first quarter. Kweli gets it in, who cares about his marriage.

  • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine

    yo Q…

    what’s the verdict on that new Curren$y mixtape ‘Return To The Inner Circle’?

    salute to all the homies…

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WK1Ymipoe0 these posts are racist

      Fam,

      The mixtape is fire, I’m realling diggin’ the homey. He’s keeping up with expectations.

      Also, I can’t find the instrumental to that track…can you get it? Or do you have an alternative track? I’m for the challenge bro.

      • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine

        * shakes finger @ tpar *

        that’s your task…u said Talib is boring…i’m sure one around u has that program to make it an instrumental…but thanx 2 u & Q, I’m about to spark a filament and get into this Spitta mixtape…let ya kno…

        • these posts are racist

          i hear you fam…one of the homies hooked it up using a program that strips the vocals but it doesn’t sound right…figured if someone had a better version handy…but I hear u fam.

  • chaos

    peace to Talib

  • Q461

    @ Don…

    That Spitta mixtape is dope….nice start to 2011 my dude..you should check it out…Rain Delay over that Rae shit is bananas

  • Lemonade Was A Popular Drink

    Doesn’t Kweli’s wife lool like a younger version of DMX’s wife!

  • han solo

    This article fails so hard. How are you gonna spell Hennessy wrong when you reference it like 15 times and it’s the underlying theme to your post?

    You made some good points and I read the whole thing despite not giving a shit about Talib, but that’s a pretty big mistake. Plus, if you had spelled it right, you maybe coulda gotten a couple free bottles.

  • mav

    talib is kinda boring but he is nice wit the wordplay though who didnt like that hostile gospel aND that just to get by joint?

  • Pingback: Talib Kweli Sells 14k In The First Week, Gets In Twitter Bitchfit With Yours Truly | Shabooty.com

  • http://www.cupcakeconnective.wordpress.com Cupcake

    This shit was funny as hell to me!!! Kweli is a dope ass artist, LOVED Beautiful Struggle, Quality, Eardrum, Revolutions Per Minute and dammit if my dude aint killing the game with Gutter Rainbows! I mean, I’d rather listen to something thought provoking, qwirky, clever, awesome and glorifying women than some of the too cool, not so clever, non-thought provoking, unawesome music of others. As far as he and his wife goes, obviously a business arrangement, maybe there is love but Im almost sure shes getting hers as I do believe I saw her name on many of credits for some of his old work.
    So if you really believe that Kweli is wak then I suggest you download or bootleg any of the albums listed above, listen to it and then go support REAL hip hop. The kind that includes Knowledge! As far as his wife… She good!!!