I checked the main page of this site just now, to see if there was anything I could pretend to give a shit about for 800 words or so, or if I needed to discuss my schlong again (god forbid), and I saw there was a video from a listening party the Based God, Lil B, recently held in NYC. Does that mean this is about to be a repeat of the incident a few weeks ago when the group Odd Future came to New York, and everybody and their grandma – at least as far as the people I follow on Twitter – seemed to have gone to the show and had something to say about it, for various publications.
In retrospect, I should have known something was up the minute I saw the amount of press that shit generated. There’s no way that many people were really interested in some shit that, up until that point, I hadn’t even heard of. They may have been mentioned at some point or another on Noz’s Tumblr, where all unfortunate rap trends originate, but of course I only scan Noz’s Tumblr for mentions of myself. (It’s not like there’s any pr0n, like on a real Tumblr.) Brooke Lee Adams could have been in town giving out free blowskis to music writers, and letting people play bongos on her miraculous ass (an act I developed an appreciation of during that $100 lapdance I got from Kelly Divine), and half those people wouldn’t have shown up – and not just because they’re gay.
Later I read, in a brief, seemingly inconsequential aside in one of the many reviews of the Odd Future show, that the group, like this guy Wiz Khalifa, has been secretly signed to a major label since they were like 12, i.e. about three years ago, and it was the label that coordinated all of this shit. The TIs were the one who planned the trip, paid for it, booked the show, put them up, so on and so forth. And I’m assuming they were the ones who got seemingly every (suspect) music writer there ever was to show up to the show and write about it. How they went about that I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a few palms were greased – either figuratively, or perhaps quite literally.
Don’t be surprised if something similar happens this week, with Lil B. I checked out this site’s video of his little listening party, for potential lulz, and the first thing that I noticed, standing in the background, was that black chick with the Jane Fonda-in-Klute hairdo who worked here for like four days a few months ago. Then she just kinda up and disappeared, as is often the case here at Chile under Augusto Pinochet XXL. Then later I read, I think in the comments section here, or maybe on formspring, that she was some sort of agent for the TIs the entire time. Hmm… It makes me wonder if the bum who stopped by yesterday offering to shovel my snow was really here to shovel my snow (nhjic), or if he was trying to get a look inside. I’m gonna have to start being extra vigilant.
How can I be paranoid, when it’s the paranoid motherfuckers who are really after me who are making me paranoid?
So she was there, and then Lil B launches into this ridonkulous spiel about how he wants to thank the MCs and producers who inspired him, namely the RZA and MF Doom, and then he gives a shout out to Jay Electronica. Which is like if Ed Wood, at a screening of Plan 9 from Outer Space, thanked his idols, the Coen brothers and Martin Scorsese, and then gave a shout out to my boo Sofia Coppola. Even though that wouldn’t necessarily have made sense chronologically. But bear with me. It’s getting late in the afternoon, and I’ve got some things that I need to get taken care of before it gets to be Miller Time.
Then the video just kinda abruptly ends, right after he gives a shout out to Jay Electronica. You don’t actually get to hear any music by Lil B. (Not that I’m complaining.) What the fuck kind of listening party is that? It makes me wonder if the whole purpose of the video wasn’t to strengthen Lil B’s appeal to people who have decent taste in music, i.e. people who listen to the RZA and MF Doom, and, if it’s necessary to throw someone current into the mix, Jay Electronica, similar to the trick Kanye tried to pull of trying to make up for the teh gheyness of 808s & Heartbreak by cutting sympathy checks to the likes of Pete Rock, DJ Premier, and, again, the RZA, during the making of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, none of whom really appeared on the album – I don’t care what the credits say. Hence, actually playing a Lil B song, in a video of a Lil B listening party, would have ruined it.