They’re Gonna Blame Us Regardless

We’ve all seen the news reports, the e-blurbs, paper clippings and everything in between. People are scrambling to get things under control and others are just scrambling for their livelihoods, while the so-called pundits of the music world and, of course, people with no semblance of knowledge or actual fact are basing this phenomenon solely from word of mouth and other such jibba jabba.

What was once considered a taboo side hustle has now become a lucrative business of sorts, with hip hop as the central inspiration (or culprit, if you will) behind it. After its explosion people saw how seemingly easy it could bring them as much notoriety as it could money and began doing underhanded things to make it happen, which has now brought unwarranted attention from the media and – more importantly – the fuzz.

Now we’re in an era where, under the solemn stare of the all-seeing eye, people are panicking and desperately trying to find other ways to satisfy their fix, while suppliers are finding other, if not entirely legal, ways of appease that demand. Things will ultimately coming to a head, with the moral and legal ramifications to affect the business for years to come.

I’m talking, of course, of these weird surgical procedures women do to make their asses fatter. Disgusting, disgusting shit.

I love a nice set of ass like the next red-blooded, heterosexual male (and homosexual woman). Hell, I’ve watched enough Reality Kings-produced content to even have an appreciation for fake asses. But seeing an awkwardly shaped, surgically mauled donkey just hurts my feelings. Thanks to urban culture’s prominence in pop culture (at least the tall Israelis got something right), a simple click on your computer mouse can have women resembling their “ass prototype,” Ray-J victim/inexplicable pr0n star-turned-businesswoman Kim Kardashian.

Fuck Ray-J.

Sir Mix-A-Lot made a chart-topping song about it and hip hop has long made it a staple to have them in its videos, but it was arguably Jennifer Lopez [1] that popularized the big butt in popular culture. Something that used to be commonplace on any street from Harlem to Inglewood has now garnered worldwide acclaim, and what used to be considered a physical deformity (word to Sarah Baartman) has now become a million dollar business with some women who are lacking in the packing doing whatever it takes to have a prominent backside, even resorting to Krazy Glue and bathroom caulk ass enhancements.

Really? Krazy Glue and caulk? Seriously? Are schmags that desperate these days? Damn like Ron Simmons.

Regardless, the end result will be the same: what used to be a low profile, oft-ignored aspect of urban culture has now exploded into unprecedented preeminence that’s now going to be exploited, misconstrued and ultimately violated thanks to those who simply do not understand its mechanics, and we’re all going to lose because of it.

[1] Never mind the millions of equally- or better-shaped women that preceded her, but that’s another argument for another time.

  • Ron

    lame blog

  • http://www.youtube.com/Sirron7One3 Sirron

    Ron, you’re an idiot. Cheers to you Meka.

  • _BigJerm

    While I respect you for what you do, Meka, I must say this. When it comes to writing these blogs you pick the most pointless, bullshit, stupid fucking ideas ever. And you know what? Of course you do, that’s what you do it. It works.

    Well for once try writing about something relevant, something that might not get you the same attention, but something that could make a difference.

    You sir, are a founder of one of the most read hip-hop blogs on the INTERNET. That covers a hell of a lot of people. So how about you post something about how your NMC (OnSmash, Dajaz1) brethren went down a couple of days ago? I’m not saying that you don’t support them, but damn, you sure don’t show it in the public (internet) realm.

    You have the ability to INFORM people, to make people angry, to feel something, to incite change. I can only hope that one day I will be in your position. And yeah, I saw what you did there. Nothing.

    • AR-KKK-ANSAS

      Yall stupid lame ass niggaz can’t see that what he is doing! It’s a damn good article because he is letting us know that something that blacc people have held sacred for years (BIG BOOTY) laughed at ridiculed and almost declared animalistic is now popular? the fucc? why now? J-lo made it popular but my girl, her friends, my female classmates , girls from my hood all had one thing in common they were blacc with big asses! now I said that to say this, why now? the AFRICAN GETS NO CREDIT FOR ANYTHING ! (THEY STOLE OUR LIPS TOO) Remember those were supposed traits of the great APES…NOW ANGELINA JOLIE a {EUROPEAN} has them their oK and even sexy> I CAN THROW A ROCC IN MY HOOD AND HIT A BLACC GIRL WITH SEXIER LIPS AND ASS TOO. You see the article was not pointless, he just let us know how we get credit for shit!!! now they will abuse this by getting surgically altered and FUCCED THE FUCC UP! YOU SAID “You have the ability to INFORM people, to make people angry” Well to me he just did we never get credit for anything and for something ass insugnificant as an ass! The idea has to come forth from an non African….read in between the lines brother the truth is not just on the exterior!!!!!!!!!1

      • mrsbenzo

        Here, Here AR-KKK-ANSAS!!!! As a young girl I was laughed at because my lips were “Coffee Coolers” and countless other sometimes not so flattering things, my behind was described as one guy that I Walked with my back curved, things that he and his friends laughed uproarouasly at… But my point Is that We who grew up with these “defects” were not treated as kindly as now these “Models”. I did not do so bad but I did have times of self doubt, truth be told sometimes still do.. But hell MY HUSBAND LOVES IT.. AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME, IN others cases it has not been so great, I thank this blogger for his insite and he did make me angry, I actually get angry EVERYTIME I SEE THESE FAKE ASS FAKE LIPPED FEMALES PUT ON PEDASTALS..

  • _BigJerm

    Sorry, that should read. “Of course you do, that’s why you do it. It works.”

    I feel like you should get the point either way, though

  • http://dayandadream.com Brando

    Congrats, you folks fell for the bait and switch. The lead up to the inflated asses subject could easily be assumed as Meka referring to the alphabet boys busting up his NMC co-horts.

    But Meka didn’t go that route because that would be A) too obvious and B) would draw only those folks who are either happy or sad the gov’t is doing this.

    Oh, J-Lo had a fatty but my Hispanic crush started at “Thank God for the left nipple, Thank God for the right nipple.”

  • Bob Dole

    Meka, from 2Dopeboyz I gather that you’re a pretty cool dude and your music tastes and sense of humor seem to be fairly similar to mine but these blog posts are generally uninteresting and pointless. I thought it was a good idea when you first got this shit from XXL because you write funny little quips at the main hustle but it’s just yawn after yawn after yawn.
    Additionally, would it kill you to read what you write just once before posting it? There’s almost always spelling or grammatical errors.

  • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine

    “Congrats, you folks fell for the bait and switch. The lead up to the inflated asses subject could easily be assumed as Meka referring to the alphabet boys busting up his NMC co-horts.”

    ^ bingo

  • Hmmmm

    Best blog Meka has ever written. That bait and switch was pulled off perfectly, some of the comments prove it. Had me on the ground dying of laughter when you started talking about surgically altered asses.

  • nicholasdelorejo

    Man hip-hop is “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” If this epidemic gets bigger I bet the news media will be putting rap on another witch hunt like they did with Imus. But this fake ass epidemic isn’t so much based on female insecurity as it is based on a new found hustle women see in having a big ass whether real or fake. Chicks now are paying up to 20K for bodies people will pay more a year just for them to posse in pics, strip, or host parties. They don’t even have to blow a shit load of rappers and possibly be homeless like Katt Stacks or Superhead. Pussy teasing hustle>>> Pussy selling hustle>>>>> Rap hustle.

  • goatmouth

    It’s a sad state of affairs when a woman has to get caulk shot in her butt cheeks to get ahead in her career field.

  • rico

    i mean if its real then okay but a fake ass is just like fake chests they fall down

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  • W?

    It’s crazy that XXL wrote a blog about fake asses. It’s hypocritical, XXL and KING were the main people who were pressing and marketing the “big ass” toward our culture. Men visit this site daily or send letters and try to shit on women who don’t have “an ass”. But are these men (who dissing the flat butt chicks) built like LL Cool J or Nelly, “packing”, and have a bank account like Donald Trump? Nope, I guess not. Why people aren’t shitting on them for not having a “body”? It got to (some) women self-esteem, that why they injecting their asses because they are trying to meet the standard that you’re portraying.