Most of you who frequent this site and the main hustle have this false ideal that I’m some arrogant, halfway illiterate blawguh who just got “lucky” with a website, right? If so, that’s kind of sad to know that – without actually knowing the person – folks have this misrepresentation of who I am just off the strength of my online persona.

To be honest, nobody should ever take anything I’ve written or will write here as a literary delineation of who I really am, when in actuality I’m probably more like you, the reader, than you realize. I have a fascination with certain materialistic baubles, I have an affinity for music and I write over here for the same reason you visit your favorite website, whatever that may be, each day instead of doing your job: to take your mind off, albeit temporarily, from the everyday struggles we all have.

Take today, for instance. Amidst the daily task of dealing with life’s intricate fuckeries, I sometimes look to some random-ass bum wine to at the very least calm my nerves. With today’s alcohol du jour being the infamous 4 Loko, I decided to try one. On an empty stomach. At roughly two this afternoon.

Needless to say, the combination of alcohol and caffeine found in this red can of death I just consumed has me wanting to go to sleep and do calisthenics in the middle of my living room right now.

Really not the best feeling while you’re “on the clock,” so to speak.

The quasi-intoxication, however, has me wondering about a variety of things, primarily Kanye’s album that I finally got around to the other day. Personal opinions on the music aside I feel that the actual leak of the album itself could be the most beneficial from Kanye’s promotional blitzkrieg amongst all the press about George Bush, Matt Lauer, Taylor Swift, Amber Rose, G.O.O.D. Friday, Selita Ebanks and everything else I can’t seem to remember at the moment thanks to this damn alcohol poisoning my veins right now. The largely positive response the album has received is what Kanye’s current and future so-called “media trainers” should be paying attention to, not what part of White AmeriKKKA Kanye offends whenever he opens his mouth.

On the flip side – and this is totally the 4 Loko talking right now – I heard nary a constructive criticism of Nicki Minaj’s debut album, Pink Friday, when it leaked a couple days ago. It was as if people found a “pre-release advance copy,” listened to it, deleted it from their hard drives and bought Jay-Z’s book of rhymes instead. It also didn’t help that her album leaked roughly a week before it’s scheduled due date, while Kanye’s dropped a full two weeks ahead of time similar to her label partner Drake’s Thank Me Later, giving people less time to absorb and deliver a verdict on it before it hits the retail shelves. Going into her final week before the album release, one has to wonder if the apparent lack of discussion will either help or hurt Nicki in the end.

I’m sure both artists will do numbers their first weeks out, but when more people are talking about Kanye than Nicki it’s easy to see who will sell like gangbusters. I gotta stop drinking these things…