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Staying Out Of Jail = Good For Your Sphincter

Man’s penchant for boasting can lead to the downfall of man.

That’s the feeling I get each time I sporadically check the various social networks. Not to say I’m not guilty of bragging also (have you seen my Madden ’11 record?), but after a while I’ve realized that being a prodigious braggart essentially does more harm than good for you. That’s word to everybody who thinks their sex game was personally dispensed to them by Aphrodite herself.

I still can’t be seen in Madden ’11, though. But that’s for another time.

Anyways, it was only a matter of time before the final version of Kanye’s new album became a victim to the Internets as everybody and their respective baby moms took to the Twitter to brag about having a copy of it, as if the rest of the world doesn’t have or know how to find it themselves. Seriously, one of my favorite message boards has about six separate, working links of the album in between the posts on various nude pictures and “Oh, No! There’s A Negro In My Wife!” videos.

You think I’m joking about “Oh, No! There’s A Negro In My Wife!” videos? They sell the shits on Amazon of all places!

Plus, bragging is nothing more than a step above actually snitching on yourself anyways, and we know how the rap world (supposedly) feels about snitching despite it happening all the time. I even remember, a few months back, reading this one news story where two former friends in a rap crew were going at it on Twitter, with one guy threatening to shoot and kill the other guy. When the first guy actually did shoot and kill the other guy, the cops were essentially waiting as his doorstep with open arms the following day after reading the exchange.

Captivating stuff.

Seeing Wiz Khalifa get arrested for weed possession the other day was like seeing Kobe Bryant get caught violating that bitch having consensual, extramarital affairs with that one YT out in Colorado: we all knew it was going to happen eventually. I mean, the guy talks about spending roughly a Playstation 3 a day (word to The Smoking Section) on marijuana, the majority of his music (which I thoroughly enjoy) is about his love of it and his music videos feature him smoking it. Suffice to say, it was only a matter of time before the cops caught on.

I’m sure most of you will debate that smoking weed is a “victimless” crime, and I’ll wholeheartedly co-sign that sentiment. The thing about that, though, is that it’s still pretty much illegal to smoke it unless you have a prescription (ironically, partaking in some of the stuff that would actually make you get a prescription is still legal like a mofo), and even that’s a stretch at times (unless you live in California). Like it or not it’s still considered a “crime,” and essentially broadcasting your news out there is asking for the cops’ unwanted attention. Perhaps next time Wiz should travel in separate buses, with one solely loaded with weed and hangers-on ready and willing to catch a weed charge for him. If he can spend in a day on weed what I spend per month on bills, I’m sure he can afford it.

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