The Wifey Problem

Hip hop is probably the only musical forum where people will resort to slapping out someone (or at least staging it) who’s had the gall to… um… voice their displeasure with them in a comment section of a website of all places. Its hyper-machismo, quasi-misogynistic ideals are, well, part of the reason why I like nignorant rap so much. Sure, listening to the likes of dead prez can be rewarding, but I’m more than sure that all they want is some pussy, Uncle Luke-style, every now and then like most people.

Therein lies the problem, though. In a culture that’s more “we don’t love dem hoes” than “let’s settle down and pick out drapes for the house,” it’s rather difficult to have and/or maintain a long-term relationship within it. Even before the music, the touring, the drugs, the jail time and the other perks that accompany rap, men are imbued with the most carnal desires to mate with women. A lot. Hell, I’m pretty sure some of you who are reading this post right now have thought of having sex with at least two different women today.

Nothing to be ashamed about, especially when women are much, much worse than we are (and refuse to admit it!). But that’s another story for another time.

So, one can only imagine the level of schmag-level trim that comes a rapper’s way if they’re successful (or at the very least have their names out there like they are). At the same time, that would make actually settling down with one special person that much more difficult since we, being the step-above-primitive beasts that we are, are going to want to smash every little thing in every little city we could get our hands on; not exactly a quality potential female suitors look for in us. And when the slores of the world seemingly pass it off to us as if we were Adrian Peterson… well… Maury Povich has made a living doing shows that spotlight the consequential results of those decisions.

So, while it’s rather amazing to see the likes of Jay-Z and even (allegedly) J. Cole as one-women men, you can only imagine the hell and flak they get for that decision in their professional and personal lives. Well, except for Jay: let’s face it, marrying then – more importantly – banging Beyoncé is akin to eating ambrosia while drinking grape Kool-Aid made from the waters of the fountain of youth, all while getting top from Aphrodite.

It’s that serious.

In Cole’s case, when news leaked about him (allegedly, though he’s since denied it) getting engaged to his longtime girlfriend, an ocean of semen hunters voiced their displeasure at both Cole and his girl, with some even turning against him and vowing to never support him again. Really? There are women who actually get that mad at someone they never had a chance with before getting engaged? Pardon my language, but some of these simple-minded bitches need to raise their life goals just a little bit higher.

It’s like a catch-22, then, when men are lauded for being whorebags to willing skeezers, but are sometimes vilified when they’re actually faithful to one person. I don’t get it, but then again this is why I just hide behind a damn computer screen some 11 months out of the year.

  • http://www.ijustdream.blogspot.com Anonymous

    “…is akin to eating ambrosia while drinking grape Kool-Aid made from the waters of the fountain of youth, all while getting top from Aphrodite.”

    ^
    ^
    ^
    ^
    ^
    THAT = #WIN.
    :D

  • trillerererer

    if u wife a bitch then nigga u lost

    never show emotion to a hoe unless its the emotion of happiness when u bust in her face

    • Blackbond007

      You’re the dumbest negro ever and you need to be disposed of quickly.

    • Rick Ross

      Trilla…..

  • destron

    @trillerererer

    Go kill yourself nigga, that dumbass thinking is the reason why many of these so called thugs go around fronting to be banging everything that has a vagina. Seriously go kill yourself your not helping anyone in life kid.

  • 67

    Emotional ass niggas pull ya skirts up a bitch is a bitch & will never be anything else. Go back to the cotton fields if you aint a real nigga.

  • important research for gangstaz

    hoez is gud 4 a couple thangz

    1.) putin yo dick all n dey throte
    2.) putin yo dick all n dey pusse
    3.) putin yo dick all n dey bootie
    4.) getin money from em
    5.) slapin da fuk out em if dey say shit outa line
    6.) fukin dey frens n shit
    7.) cleenen
    8.) cooken
    9.) gitin abortiuns
    10.) nothin

    • ms_spittuh

      Oooooh damn nigga you talk sexy!

      • important research for gangstaz

        wutz good bich

    • :]

      lol.

    • mav

      lmfao comment section made my day

  • Snoop Doggy Dogg

    Bitches ain’t shit but hoes & tricks.

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  • Gascloud

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    • cheese bagel with da onions on it that i done ate for lunch a few weeks ago yall know how i do harlem all day son come see me

      lmfao yall niggas goin off in here

      • Meeka

        You officially have the greatest name in the history of Xxlmag comments section.

      • chrome

        cheese bagel your name is a win!

  • dewey

    I like the blog but has anyone else noticed that Meka uses the word “quasi” in like every post haha

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  • Anonymous

    The money.

  • Anonymous

    dem ho’z & bitchez is yalls momz, sistaz, cuzzez & yo girlz now what yung azz idiosoz

    • fffff

      who cares, regardless of who they are they are still hoes. grow the fuck up lil boy

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  • alderman j

    DONT LOVE EM, wife em, marry em, have babies with em, buy a house with em, a couple cars with em, spend money on em, go on vacations with em, go shopping with em, save money with em, raise kids with em………DONT LOVE EM!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    “Its hyper-machismo, quasi-misogynistic ideals are, well, part of the reason why I like nignorant rap so much”

    how can something be quasi-misogynist and not be all the way misogynist? that makes absolutely no sense.
    that’s like something being quasi-racist.
    there are alot of people willing to disavow racism but never think twice when it comes to spouting misogyny and straight up hatred of women.
    it’s a pathology, not unlike that shared by antisocial types like rapists and sociopaths.

    “but I’m more than sure that all they want is some pussy, Uncle Luke-style, every now and then like most people”

    you assume all “people” reading this are men, and straight men at that.
    you’re so comfortable being this ignorant. it’s a fucking shame.

    • Anonymous

      FUK NIGA

    • The Quasi-Misogynist

      because it is possible to be somewhat misogynist and not all the way. like we really dislike them hoes but not all women are hoes, geddit? we “mistrust” hoes. like you might slap a bitch but not all women are bitches. we “hate” bitches. fuck em, feed em, don’t wife em

      dude said “most” people not “all”. and why would a batty man be reading this post anyway?

      the fuck outta here with your bleeding heart summary

      • Anonymous

        i bet you’re meka

      • Anonymous

        i bet this is either the author of this editorial, or a die-hard supporter.

        whoa. it’s too much to get into to reply to this comment. to the most pungent of all the sentences listed above, that about slapping a “bitch”, you sound like someone who commits domestic violence, and someone who should be isolated from society. you really need to grow up.
        and what’s with everything in quotations?
        if you mean it it should go inside the quotations. like you really do hate women, so you don’t need the quotes

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  • PlMPA

    I FUK HOEZ NIKKA

  • White Girl

    Boy, I’m amazed at how much black men seem to hate women. And here society wants me to feel bad for black men cause so many of them go to jail, but it’s not hard to see why given the utter ignorance on display here. OH, and I know you’re all gonna stomp all over this post with your violent misogynist racist talk, no surprise there.

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