My Love/Hate Relationship With Hip-Hop – I Was a Fiend

Last month we announced our second reader blog contest, where one lucky commenter would get a shot at guest blogging for a week. After receiving a ton of submissions, a winner was finally selected. Give the man a hand…

I don’t love hip-hop. I mean, I like it a lot, but I don’t love it. Not because I’m a hater, but probably because I have commitment issues. Love is a strong word. You could call me a fan, a freak, or even a fiend, but I only love my family—and Nicki Minaj.

XXL wants me to tell y’all why I’m “an insatiable fiend for this art form we call hip-hop.” I wish I could say I am. I really, really do.

Therein lies my quandary. Simply put, some days I am, and some days I’m not. When Game announced he was dropping The R.E.D. Album and that he would be working with Dr. Dre, I was a fiend. The twitpic of Game, Snoop, and Dre together literally set my Internet cable on fire. But then he went and released singles like “Big Money,” “Krazy,” and “Ain’t No Doubt About It.” That string of releases stopped my fiend mode dead in its tracks.

Goddamn you, Game.

You had so much buzz and excitement, and you had to go ruin it, maybe because you felt pressure from a combination of Jimmy Iovine, Jimmy Henchman, and Pharrell. Although that “Shake” record did have my ear for a second, and I actually made it through the whole song.

Actually, that’s not entirely true.

I find myself going in and out of this fiend mode a lot. Eminem had me camping out by my computer (in my, er, room) waiting for the release of the first track from Relapse. And then I clicked on the YouTube link for “We Made You.” I was excited, nervous, curious, delirious, jittery, jumpy, and anxious. Mostly because I was waiting for that damn red line to move fast enough so that I could have the song play in its uninterrupted entirety, because the worst thing about listening to music on YouTube is having a song stop in the middle because that red line hadn’t moved all the way to the right.

I clicked play, and the second the hook dropped, I thought it was a mistake. Maybe it was a prank by Eminem? Perhaps I had clicked on some 1960’s pop record, and some YouTube punk looking for extra hits put Em’s name in the title to get clicks?


I immediately left fiend mode. The worst part wasn’t even the hook. It was the accent. Em’ sounded like a British ex-pirate who had contracted malaria on the high seas and lived off of a steady diet of seaweed and saltwater for 15 years.

But then came Recovery. It immediately hurled me back into fiend mode. “No Love,” “Cinderella Man,” “You’re Never Over,” and that mysterious Havoc track had me running back into hip-hop’s arms faster than Kat Stacks onto a Young Money tour bus. (You be careful now, Lil’ Chuckee).

I vividly remember when 50 Cent dropped “Straight to the Bank” and “Amusement Park,” both of which produced a collective sigh from millions of rap fans, in initial anticipation of his Curtis album.

My fiend mode checked out.

But then came “I Get Money” and “I’ll Still Kill.”  Then, a while later, he put out War Angel and Forever King. Once again, I ran back into hip-hop’s big, reluctant arms. This time, I felt kind of bad about it, though. Probably sort of how Plies felt sitting in his jail cell when he first heard Akon’s “I Wanna Love You,”  sans his original verse.

That’s the thing about hip-hop. It’s fickle. One day you love it, then the next day you say “screw this, I’m going to get a milkshake and listen to Katy Perry.” Maybe not, but you get my point.

It’s not that I’m unfaithful. I’m extremely faithful. Violently faithful sometimes, but when hip-hop goes a tad out to the left, I get turned off. I didn’t like Lil Wayne experimenting with rock music. I don’t want 50 Cent to release a Euro-pop album. I’m against Snoop Dogg releasing a sequel to Doggystyle. I’m weary of Tech N9ne’s growing mainstream popularity. I was weary of 808’s & Heartbreak. And, it irks me to death that there are many talented New York rappers who keep getting deals but can’t put out an album. (Except for you, Maino. You got yours, but don’t expect another).

So here’s what I am going to do. The next time a rapper does something that I don’t like, I’m going to clench my jaw and take it like a man. I’m going to focus on what makes me a hip-hop fiend. Every Lloyd Banks mixtape, Tech N9ne drop, Mood Muzik tape, all three Blueprints, Power of the Dollar, and Nicki Minaj’s ass, er, assets, uh, er, featured verses. All of those things make me very happy in some way.

While I do severely miss the days of battling, where the hottest Internet videos were Swann tearing apart Breeze Evaflowin on Scribble Jam (“That chain can’t be real, you look like you got it at a Happy Meal”), Jin emasculating Verse in the underground mall, Cassidy serving Freeway on a pupu platter in the studio, and Eminem’s grainy videos from the Rap Olympics, I’m going to be okay. I can access YouTube on a whim and watch any video I want, even with that dastardly red line which makes me wait.

I would say that while I’m not in love, I will forever be a fiend. Excuse me, an “insatiable fiend.” So let me know; can y’all relate to my love/hate relationship with hip-hop? What makes you fiend out? Shlomo

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  • Young Truth

    Good post. As an artist myself, I expect so much from my favorite artists. I enjoy my lyricists, and can’t stand the current phase of hip hop. I’m not hating, I just fail to see much talent being displayed. And unfortunatly, the best lyricists aren’t getting their proper shine. I love that Em is showing love to Slaughterhouse, but honestly, I can’t stand to see them suffer the same fate as Obie Trice or Stat Quo. At least Mood Muzik 4 dropped, that will satisify me for a few months. And of course Kanye is tearing it up, even if by some crazy insane fluke his album is trash, the G.O.O.D. Friday drops will keep me happy. XXL can disappoint me tho, Soulja Boy, who I’ve never been a fan of, and 50, who I haven’t been a fan of since I was 15. I just pray hip hop stays afloat with some lyricism and talent, and until Pusha T drops his album, Budden will keep me happy regardless of the trash everyone else makes.

  • UptownStef

    very good blog!!! 10/10. good points i feel the same way… Game really killed all his own hype with those shit singles. every line was the truth.

  • Blackaristocrat

    Good blog man. Keep writing like this, and you should get a permanent spot on here. This one article crushed all of Karen Civil’s blogs.

  • jonny bizness

    I fiend 4 sat afternoons looking 4 kanye 2 drop his g.o.o.d friday series (five hrs in front of new york time zone)That shit is absurd.

  • Atlanta is full of Flakes

    Excellent post! Hip Hop certifiably has it’s missteps, flaws and pure unadulterated garbage artist, but it also has it’s rising stars, power artist and hip hop culture warriors. ‘Preciate it bruh. I guess we take the good with the bad. Hip Hop is grown now, and we’ve seen almost everything it can offer at this stage, which kills the “wow” factor, but we still have the culture….until they kill that.

  • DV8

    I dig!!! I dig!!!

    that just about sums it up for me.

    This was an excellent post

  • 8====D~~


  • Buff Bagwell

    My favorite thing about hip-hop is when I stick my dick inside a fat bitch’s pussy and get that thang to fartin and gushin. Then i wipe it off and shove it in that Hershey Highway while R. Kelly is bumpin in the background. Other than that, fuck hip-hop.

  • EmCDL

    Dope post, looking forward to your next one.

    Anytime I get tired of listening to hip hop (not just artists turning me off with their rediculous singles, but hip hop in general), I’ll listen to some progressive electronica,trance albums or R&B, probably some new age jazz as well. Gives me the time to get ideas for my production.

  • Domjell

    Good post, although as a B-Boy I’ve never fallen out of love with hip hop. I hate the way the bullshit gets the most attention but overall I’ve had to dig in the crates to satisfy my appetite. Luckily I found gems, such Cannibal Ox, Brother Ali, Sean P and a few others. And I never check for popular artists 1st single, remember B-Side wins! Nonetheless, good outing and I’ll be checking to see if you’re a one hit wonder.

  • John Cochran

    XXL puts the same 5 artists on the cover all year.

  • domisophical

    i sent in a blog in the contest and thought mine was great but this right here is perfect.

  • Official Fully

    Bro, you call anything you mentioned in this post “Hip hop”?

    All that shit is rap.

    Go check Duck Down records whole catalog and most of Baby Grande records’ artists. Then call me in the morning.

    If you get bored with hip-hop it’s cause you’re sleeping, not because hip-hop is.

    My opinion, but not a bad drop tho. I’ll be checking for your newer entries.

    Fully man..

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  • Dead President

    good ass post homie. although i might sometimes slightly turn my shoulder wen most releases should be left unreleased, i can only still love hip-hop. hip-hop been there 4 me in both good & bad times, and we can always bang it til it burst – being ‘old’ or fresh out leaked latest releases. matter fact, our best hip-hop IS old gear. might get mad at the boring droughts of bangers worth bangin, but i’ll always LOVE hip-hop .
    - peace