A child’s stomach just growled, did you hear it?

You know what would be painful? If your father didn’t care enough about you to send child support, and then he went and joked about it on the Internets.

Let’s just hope Joe Budden’s son isn’t on Twitter.

His father is on there as we speak yucking it up about his appearance today on the front page(!) of the Jersey Journal, the local fishwrap in his native Jersey City. First he complained that the mugshot they used, probably from one of the other times he got busted for failure to pay child support (they don’t put you on the front page of the paper for your first offense), isn’t a very good picture. Then he explained that he was on Twitter w/ everyone else (black and unemployed), in response to the article’s headline, “Where’s Joe?”

Hardy har har.

Fabolous, who was recently declared by the New York Times the funniest rapper on Twitter, which I took to mean that he’s a rapper and he tries to tell a lot of jokes on Twitter (50 Cent is the only funny rapper on Twitter), offered to pay one month, in exchange for a trade in the fantasy football league they’re in. (Is that what’s hot in the streets?) But apparently Budden felt the deal wasn’t worth being able to feed his son for a month. To his credit, this could be one of those leaques where you win a pot of money, if your team wins the Super Bowl, or whatever the goal is in fantasy football.

I’m thinking Fabolous probably would have sent Joe Budden a check for $178, or whatever someone whose career came to an end for all intents and purposes 5+ years ago has to pay per month in child support, if only to be able to say he did, on Twitter, but also because he enjoys feeling superior to Joe Budden. We’ve all got that one friend we keep around because their life is even more fucked up than ours. Attractive women will often hang out with a fat chick, or a black woman (aww dang) for similar reasons. For Fabolous that friend is obviously Joe Budden. Hence that time a few weeks ago when Fabolous was snarking on Budden for trolling, via Twitter, for guest appearances for the new Mood Muzik, and the time Fabolous had to let the world in on the fact that Taheezo was his sloppy seconds. I’m surprised the two of them still get along well enough to be in a fantasy football league together. Their league message board must be a laugh riot.

Joell Ortiz probably didn’t get an invite. He doesn’t seem to have much of a sense of humor. Which is not to say that a starving child necessarily should be a laughing matter. At any rate, it seems to have become a point of contention in Slaughterhouse. They could end up being the first rap group to break up because one member disapproved of another member being a deadbeat father. Or is that what happened to Ed OG and the Bulldogs? Lollerskates. Ortiz took to Twitter last night to take deadbeat dads to task, in what sounded like it could have been one of those PSAs NBC made you record back in the ’90s if you got caught drunk driving or some shit (“The more you know…”): “I don’t have a 6-pack or wild muscles but I’m still a model……. A ROLE model. Stop forcing women to be dads. Take care of your kids. Word.” Budden’s response was something to the effect of don’t bite the hand that feeds. Which is of course ironic, because this whole thing has to do with his failure to feed his kids.

Keep in mind, Joell Ortiz didn’t mention Joe Budden specifically when he complained about people who don”t take care of their kids. And Joell Ortiz wasn’t mentioned by name in Joe Budden’s post on how it’s not a good career move for a weed carrier to criticize the bag’s proprietor, even if a child’s well-being is at stake. But it’s obvious to anyone who was on Twitter today, i.e. most black people, what’s going on here. Now everyone knows Joell Ortiz isn’t allowed to have an opinion, because he isn’t as famous as Joe Budden, who was probably responsible for the lion’s share of the 17,000 copies or whatever that Slaughterhouse album sold. I would have assumed that that was the group dynamic anyway, because I’ve been studying weed carrying long enough now to have a postgraduate degree in it, but it’s the rare occasion when you see one member of a rap group tell another member of the group to go get his shine box like that. Pete Rock & CL Smooth had been broken up for over a decade when CL Smooth let us in on the chocolate boy wonder’s [||] personal hygiene issues. Stories about Solar’s special motivational techniques only began to emerge after Guru had bought the farm. There was that scene in Fade to Black where Memphis Bleek was sent on a blooming onion mission to Outback Steakhouse, but it’s not like Jay-Z forcefully coerced him into doing that. Memphis Bleek is just dedicated like that. That’s why he’s in the will.

  • Bol’s Hater

    Waaaaaaaaa I have no life and I wait at my computer all day to get angry and cry about these blogs!!!!!!! FUCK YOU BOL YOURE RUINING MY GOD DAMN LIFE!!!! Please stop!!! PLEASE!!!

    • PUSSEE BEETAH

      lol

  • Anonymous

    “Budden’s response was something to the effect of don’t bite the hand that feeds. Which is of course ironic, because this whole thing has to do with his failure to feed his kids.”

    BOOM

    the nigga bol killed this shit today lmao

  • Sha

    Normally I would tell Bol to go and eat a luke warm bowl of shit for the bullshit he writes (like that kissing a pron star crap).

    But today dude is on point.

    This has got to be one embarrassing situation for Joe. Every time I see dude he’s posted up with some fly-ass chick and partying.

    I guess responsibility doesn’t come in a six-pack.

    • Truth.com

      Responsibility doesn’t come in a six-pack, but homeless people sure do cum in your mom’s face. (:

      • Anonymous

        nigga i just spit my drink all over the computer screen lmaooooooooo

      • Anonymous

        oh shit lol

    • nibs

      “Normally I would tell Bol to go and eat a luke warm bowl of shit for the bullshit he writes (like that kissing a pron star crap).”

      Normally? as in you read and hate on bol’s posts daily? Your life must be pretty fucking sad.

  • G

    If you aint from New York fuck you.

  • http://www.hiphopisread.com/ Ivan

    Props for this entire post, all the way up to the subtle Goodfellas reference in the last paragraph. “You muddafucka!”

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Joell’s shit stems from his own experience growing up. Like myself……..Where da fuck was Pop Dukes?….. Then again on the other hand, I wish I could not pay for like 3 months to let my child’s mother know what it would be liked if I dipped to South Dakota for a while.

  • El Tico Loco

    Child support wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the people that stand between you and your kids (bm and court). What’s gonna be even sadder is that if Budden goes to jail the kid won’t get jack shit.

  • CacheFlo

    Funniest shit I’ve read in a month.

    Good work, Bol.

  • cmoney91

    good post Bol

  • Saratoga N. Blake

    C’mon, Joell is good for a solid… 1700 copies solo in 2010.

  • boi-dan

    If a n1gga don’t take care of his kids, (something that is basically him) how can you trust him on any other level. If you sh1t on your kids you’ll sh1t on anything else, including the homies.

    A measure of a man is how he raises his kids.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=95335 jay

    Bol’s Hater says:

    Waaaaaaaaa I have no life and I wait at my computer all day to get angry and cry about these blogs!!!!!!! FUCK YOU BOL YOURE RUINING MY GOD DAMN LIFE!!!! Please stop!!! PLEASE!!!
    )_________

    uhhhhhh so why r u on here lol u dont like bol or his posts yet u read and respond. sounds like u got the title of ur comment right. losers

    • uhhhh

      u sure u know what sarcasm is?

  • sealsaa

    “C’mon, Joell is good for a solid… 1700 copies solo in 2010.”

    ^Nigga, you must’ve meant 17 copies. You might want to get that zero button replaced.

  • caino

    ‘There was that scene in Fade to Black where Memphis Bleek was sent on a blooming onion mission to Outback Steakhouse, but it’s not like Jay-Z forcefully coerced him into doing that. Memphis Bleek is just dedicated like that. That’s why he’s in the will.’

    Bazinga!

    On point today BOL

  • otto

    Great post, I’m seriously hating rap more and more each day. No wonder why my pops says it’s music for criminals and deadbeats, and fuck twitter (shit’s lame as fuck).

  • Nessa

    too funny!

  • pharoethegreatest

    Otto get ya cornball ass outta here with that music for deadbeats and criminals shit. I was just listening to “moment of truth” from guru the other day and a lil bit of andre 3 stacks who always drops food for thought in his rhyme scheme.

    You sound like a narrow minded bigot ya lame.

  • Pingback: Rap Round Table, Week Ending 10/22/2010