50 Cent: The new Tyler Perry?

The good news: 50 Cent just got a movie deal for $200 million. The bad news: It’s for 10 movies, and even if they do make any money, he’ll probably have to split it with a shedload of people.

It’s not like the TIs just cut Fiddy a check for $200 million – which, from what I understand, was how record deals used to work back in the day. Remember back when Janet Jackson or REM or somebody would get a deal for some ridonkulous nine figure sum? It’s not like they had to take that $200 million and use it to make 10 albums that cost $20 million a piece, and so it was really like they were getting a deal for jack schitt. Maybe they could pay themselves some sort of salary out of that $20 million per album, if there was any left over.

Which wouldn’t necessarily be a bad deal, for most of us. One tenth of one percent of $20 million would more money than I’ve ever made in a year – but that’s because I’m a broke motherfucker. This is 50 Cent we’re talking about. He once made $400 million in one year. Possibly more, if he made money from anything that year other than the sale of Vitamin Water to Coca Cola. Even if his windfall from that deal was way less than the ridonkulous figure quoted in the press, he probably took home more money that year than the entire amount of this film deal.

The problem being, it’s not like this deal is for some shit he can have done in a few months. It takes a long time to make a movie, even if said movie is a steaming pile of excrement. Tyler Perry can only crank out one every six months or so, and it looks like all of his movies are just variations on the one where the black guy dresses up like an old lady, Morehouse-style, and the one where the relationships of several black couples are in a state of disarray. They can’t be that hard to come up with. I’m surprised the studio haven’t hired a chinaman to undercut him.

Probably because Tyler Perry would take to his email list – which I’m sure is the same list behind those Jena 6 protests, and the rumor that black people’s right to vote was gonna expire in 2007, the year before we elected our first black-ish president – and explain that the TIs were using cheap Chinese labor to purposely undercut him. Imagine the outrage that would ensue. Remember the time Roger Ebert had the sheer balls to suggest that Tyler Perry’s movies weren’t very good? And that was Roger Ebert. He should have a pass to throw shitty black movies under a bus – he’s married to a black woman. He’s a better man than I am.

These new 50 Cent movies are set to be released by Lionsgate, which I’m pretty sure is the same studio that releases those Tyler Perry movies. Which makes me wonder how they think the commercial prospects of these 50 Cent movies compare to those Tyler Perry movies. Those Tyler Perry movies are occasionally the top movies in the country, ahead of whatever white movies are released that week, albeit in weeks when the white movie isn’t very good. It’s not like he’s beating out Inception, or one of those Twilight movies. But still. The last few 50 Cent movies have gone straight to video. And the last one that didn’t was Righteous Kill, which didn’t exactly set the world on fire. Neither did Get Rich or Die Trying, which had a similar pedigree to Eminem’s popular and semi-worthwhile 8 Mile.

Which is not to say that this deal is necessarily doomed. This is not 2003 – I’m sure the TIs did the math, before they just up and cut a check for $200 million. Lionsgate has been in the movies for ignorant black people business for the last 5+ years now, so I’m sure they’ve got the economics down to a science. If each one of these future turds is budgeted at $20 million, that’s probably the amount they can make just by licensing it to cable TV, foreign countries and what have you. I don’t know how many people have cable over in Africa, percentage wise, but it’s such a huge, vast continent. (They purposely make it seems smaller on maps and globes, because it’s mostly insignificant.) And you see how apeshit they go for 50 Cent over there (pardon my use of the term). They were also really big on Milli Vanilli. There must be something about a musician who isn’t really a musician that really resonates with people in Africa.

  • http://illfiguresblog.blogspot.com ian

    you obviously dont know shit about the movie industry so why are you speaking on it? second, how about you write something worthwhile instead of another tired lazy 50 cent bashing piece. thats the most hacky shit in the world. but damn, i wish i could get paid for smugly talking shit about rappers. xxl needs to cancel this shitty, pissy blog asap

  • http://www.hotmail.com raoul

    Hey Motherfucker Bol, the music you’re such a big fan of is of African Origins if I remember correctly. Stop talking shit. Your shock value doesn’t work anymore!!

  • Lmfao

    Niggas wait at their computer all day to cry about this guys blog. And yall wonder why he stays keeping a job here. Page views, simple niggas. Even if its to complain, yall are still putting some money in this sites pocket every time yall come and check out bols posts.

  • Anonymous

    I’m surprised the studio haven’t hired a chinaman to undercut him.
    ^
    hilarious…

  • drox

    ” There must be something about a musician who isn’t really a musician that really resonates with people in Africa.” You ignorant piece of shit saying this about a place that you most probably have NEVER BEEN TO. And if you did, I’m sorry that you were unable to receive any tangible knowledge (sorry NatGeo doesn’t count). You claim that the “people in Africa” are all over Mr. Jackson and yet, if I remember right, so was almost the whole US back in 2003. And if memory serves me right, isn’t GRODT one of the very few albums that got 5 stars on XXL??? Seems to me that for a Don’t contradict yourself, but mainly don’t use 50 Cent as your source of getting internet hits all the time i.e. BE CREATIVE

  • Stylez G.Write

    The best (and probably most viable) course of action for 50 to take is to find hungry,creative filmmakers and put their material out under his imprint,Goon Studios….seriously ,he could turn this shit around like Congressman James.No Black Dynamite.

  • ra

    50 CENT COULD GIVE A FUCK ABOUT BOL OR HIS POST….LOL….NEED NEW MATERIAL CUZ…THE 50 BASHING DAYS OR OVER,HE GOT RICH AND DIDN’T DIE DOING IT. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

  • kura

    are you crazy… how can africa be insignificant, we africans are great people… we millionaires b@tch

  • kura

    rite on point drox… he prob neva been to africa…. get a life bol’s…. fifty rich.. and in africa we do fucks with him.. coz he the only real artist out there

  • Melissa

    First to say congrats!!!

  • http://swankanddirect.blogspot.com/ chromeboi

    dude! don’t fucking generalize like that! It’s embarrassing. fiddy was big after GRODT, everyone, everywhere was on it. You need some sunshine and a strong African chick in your life, spending to much time dreaming of white girls you’ll never have

  • Anonymous

    lmfaooooooo @ all this asshurt niggas

  • RudNare

    “I don’t know how many people have cable over in Africa, percentage wise, but it’s such a huge, vast continent. (They purposely make it seems smaller on maps and globes, because it’s mostly insignificant.) And you see how apeshit they go for 50 Cent over there (pardon my use of the term). They were also really big on Milli Vanilli. There must be something about a musician who isn’t really a musician that really resonates with people in Africa.”

    *quips* Another program gone haywire… :)

  • kingequality

    Damn it almost sounds like 50 left all these comments himself.I’m not beat I know whats going here..lmmfao

  • domeshot

    actually, africa is the least populated continent in the world, due to the vast uninhabitable desert areas(go figure). which means as usual most consumables are aimed at the sardine-packed asian markets.
    Also you’ve probably seen the ‘they live on less than a $1 a day’ adverts that indicate that any body seriously trying to market movies in africa has a considerable pirating network to curb and $200 million will only feed less than a quarter of the population for a couple of days.

  • caino

    Damn people chill out!

    Bol l enjoyed this blog, to many funny quotables!! this is my fave!! :

    ‘I’m surprised the studio haven’t hired a chinaman to undercut him.’

    If fif makes some ‘indie’ movies he could be onto a good thing here! tho all movies l have seen with him in it has sucked , especially GRODT

  • Atlanta is full of Flakes

    Who cares about 50 cents? He’s a bum, and so are you for writing this crap.

  • Pingback: Russell Brand On Life With Katy Perry: ‘I Stay Out Of Mischief A Lot More’

  • HellNaw

    “he’s married to a black woman. He’s a better man than I am.”

    smh at Bols Black People Twitter baiting.

    I get it: T.Is were looking for someone who isn’t musically relevant anymore and they went to my boy L.A. Reid and after several failed attempts to chuck them Shyne he pointed them in 50′s direction.

  • Pingback: Rap Round Table, Week Ending 10/15/2010

  • rachuks

    he is d bomb.hate him or like him, he will keep doing what he loves.so why dint you all do same and leave the man alone.u rock tyler