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Why won’t Wale dis Kid Cudi?

Probably the best thing that could come of this beef between Wale and Kid Cudi is if one of them outed the other one as teh ghey – or maybe they could both out each other. That would at least be amusing.

I can’t imagine it leading to very much good rap music. They don’t seem like the kind of guys who could go in on each other. No fishsticks. It’s hard to get Wale to express an opinion about much of anything other than his Sex and the City-like love of shoes. Complex had him put together a list of his favorite shoes of all time, and it ended up being 50 pages long. All Nikes, as far as I could tell. I never read more than a page or two of those Complex lists, because that kind of cynicism is the only thing that really bothers me on the Internets, but I clicked through quite a bit of that Wale list, mostly out of disbelief. They all looked like the same shoe to me. What a waste. Or was the list meant to be Nike-specific? It may have been “sponsored” by Nike, on the low.

I don’t know if I’ve owned 50 pairs of shoes in my entire life, and I’ve got a good year or two on Wale. There were times in my life where a few years would go by where I didn’t get a new pair of shoes. My shoes weren’t busted up like a hobo in the 1930s, because I hardy do anything during the course of a day, but they didn’t look very good either. Suffice it to say I wasn’t getting a lot of play from black chicks.

*goes outside and sprinkles some dirt on his shoes, on purpose*

Last night Wale spoke to DJ Drama about his burgundy burgeoning beef with Kid Cudi, and his response wasn’t anywhere near as long as his list of favorite shoes. You probably couldn’t print it on 50 separate pages without having it repeat at least once. Maybe you could vary up the corresponding YouTube videos, using things that are only tangentially related. Make it a sort of art project. But not artistic in the least bit.

Wale didn’t seem to understand that now that Kid Cudi ethered him viciously, he has to say something mean about Kid Cudi, or else he’s just gonna look like a fruit. To his credit, I’m not sure what exactly DJ Drama asked him. Drama probably isn’t any more of a radio host than he is a DJ. I’ve had Sirius for a couple of years now, and I’ve been in the car once or twice when DJ Drama’s show was on, but of course I switched it back over to First Wave or whatever, because who I look like.

Instead of responding to Cudi calling him a simple-ass rapper, not even good enough to work with Kanye (i.e. somehow worse than Consequence), Wale seems to be explaining to DJ Drama how he came up with the line about the kid throwing his wallet at Kid Cudi in the first place, as if that’s at all relevant. DJ Drama went to an HBCU – he knows how metaphors work. (Probably.) Wale wouldn’t have been on the show in the first place, if all he did was come up with a metaphor. He’s got several mixtapes filled with metaphors no one gives a shit about, not to mention that album.

Wale seems oddly conciliatory, which leads me to either one of two conclusions.

1) Someone over at the label saw the Complex interview, called Wale and explained to him that if he ever wanted to put out another album on a major label, he’d better let Kid Cudi get away with saying whatever Kid Cudi wants to say about him. He shouldn’t be putting out another album on a major label anyway, but I guess they figure he might be useful for tax deduction purposes, plus I’m sure they appreciate the fact that he’s willing to do whatever they tell him to do, as evidenced by some of the features on Attention Deficit. Wale and Kid Cudi aren’t on the exact same label, but you know how these major labels are all owned by the same TIs. They’ve got a lot of money riding on Kanye and Kid Cudi this fall, and not so much on Wale.

2) Kid Cudi knows something about Wale that the rest of us don’t, and Wale doesn’t want that getting out. Perhaps something having to do with where Wale goes after he drops his groupies off from a free dinner at Dennys. If you read Cudi’s comments about Wale in Complex, it sounds mad teh ghey, with Cudi talking about whether or not he and Kanye fuck with Wale, speaking on Kanye’s behalf about what Kanye likes, using the term simple as an insult, etc. Kid Cudi is half-Mexican, and it’s a known fact that Mexicans don’t consider gay sex teh ghey, as long as you’re the top. It’s probably how they reconcile their fascination with Morrissey. Cudi doesn’t have the most masculine build in the world (no homo), but he’s on liquid cocaine, which means he’s crazy. I’m 3x his size, and I’m not sure if I’m capable of pulling a door off its hinges. He’s not the kind of guy you want to fuck with.

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