T.I. may have had a point when he said that there was no way he could be a snitch, even though he keeps getting off easy despite the fact that he's an umpteen time felon, because there's no such thing as a secret snitch.

You'll recall that I saw a few minutes of T.I.'s Behind the Music the other day, when I accidentally left the TV set to VH1, because I saw they had something on about hip-hop, but come to find out it was just a buncha clips of Amanda Diva explaining the historical significance of songs that came out when she was three. The way the shot was framed, you couldn't even see her extra thundery lower half. (At least there's always Google Images.)

I turned on the TV, after I had rubbed one out or whatever (no 2ge+her), and there was T.I., dressed in his Sunday best, presumably from the boys section at JC Penney, where my mom used to go to dress me like Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties (T.I. and I are about the same age, so there's a distinct possibility this happened to him too), talking about how he turned over a new leaf. No more crime for T.I. Then I woke up the next day to an email inbox filled with links to blog entries about how T.I. and his wife Tiny had been busted riding around in a car full of white people drugs.

It was a ridonkulous, if not surprising, sequence of events.

T.I.'s point in explaining how he couldn't be a snitch was that, if he ratted someone out in exchange for a relatively light sentence, you could easily pull up the court documents and point to where it says that his lawyer asked the judge to go easy on him, because he help put another black person in jail. That's why there's such a thing as the witness protection program. These court documents aren't too difficult to find. They might have to be made available, legally. I'm not sure. You guys knows I was pre-med.

On YouTube, there's a rather disturbing video in which a lawyer or somebody hands T.I. a picture of his... erm, right hand man Philant Johnson with his brains blown out and asks him to describe what it is, and how he went about explaining to the guy's five year-old daughter why she'd never see her father again. It was tough to watch, and believe me I've seen my share of disturbing videos.

I guess they allowed the press to videotape that trial. If you wanted to, you probably could have spent a week in East Bumblefuck, OH and came home with some damning footage of the part where T.I.'s lawyer asked him to point to the two black guys who popped a cap in his homeboy's ass, and he was like, "That's them right there, your honor." But that wouldn't have been snitching, because it's not like those guys were his co-d. They killed his weed carrier. Who gives a shit if they go to jail?

Was the trial where T.I. only got like a year for having all those machine guns similarly public? If so, there might be some truth to his explanation of why he isn't a snitch. Because apparently, the courts don't do a very good job of hiding the fact that you got away with something because you gave them someone else. I guess the courts could give a rat's ass whether or not people find out you're a snitch. If they do, they'll probably just kill you and save the state some money. They could make these trials private, but if they did, people would just assume that was because you were gonna tattle.

There was a story in the New York Daily News yesterday about how Jimmy "Henchmen" Rosemond has been snitching, going back to the mid '90s; they made it sound like they conducted an All the President's Men-style investigation, but it looks like all they did was dig up court documents from a few of his trials (lol) and scan for the part where his lawyer asked the judge to go easy on him, because he got someone else tossed in the clink.

One of these rap magazines could have had an intern do that a long time ago, if they were into that kind of journalism, and they weren't afraid Jimmy Henchmen would show up to the offices and pull guns on them. (Didn't he get busted for kicking the crap out of some radio DJ in Philly? But I don't seem to recall him doing any time...) For all we know, this shit may have already been well known in industry circles. Wasn't Jimmy Henchmen rumored to have had something to do with 2Pac getting shot? I seem to recall reading that the two of them got arrested, but Jimmy Henchmen got let go, because he knew someone at the FBI.