Getting along with people is for suckers

Seems like every time I log on to the Internets there’s either pr0n, or a story about two rappers who don’t have any business getting along with one another joining forces. The pr0n I can deal with. Obviously. But the partnerships are a problem.

Remember back when rappers all hated each other’s guts? It was fucking sweet. Things got out of hand there for a minute, when 2Pac and (most importantly) Biggie Smalls both turned up dead, but that was obviously just Suge Knight’s fault. Biggie and 2Pac would probably still be trading barbs back and forth today, via Twitter (can you imagine?), if it wasn’t for that worthless sack of shit. He probably had them both killed, like it says in that Nick Broomfield movie.

Sometimes I wonder if there’s anything in those Nick Broomfield movies that isn’t true. Maybe Courtney Love did kill Kurt Cobain. I find them highly entertaining anyway. (I know at one point someone had uploaded them all to YouTube, but that was a couple of years ago.)

These days, I don’t worry as much about dissing Suge Knight via the Internets, because (a) it isn’t clear to me that Suge Knight has the Internets; (b) these days, you’re more likely to hear about someone fucking Suge Knight up than the opposite; (c) it could be that Suge Knight has genuinely mellowed out in his old age. The last time I heard about him, it was when he stole that guy from the Luniz’ chain, which always struck me as akin to when Tony Soprano beat up that guy who was hired to drive him around after he got shot by Uncle Junior (spoiler alert!). Or it could just be that he’s taking it easy, because he knows he doesn’t have any money for lawyers. What does he do, now that some white woman from Canada owns Death Row? Maybe he sold that chain.

Back when Jay-Z and Nas were beefing with one another, there was this fear that it could lead to a situation like Biggie and 2Pac, where either one or both of them got shot. But that’s just because it took place not too long after the assassinations of our generation’s two great black leaders. The height of that beef took place damn near 10 years ago. Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ! You know what this means, right? Some hella expensive 10th anniversary concert where The Blueprint is made to seem as if it’s on a par with the likes of Illmatic and Only Built 4 Cuban Linx. Just like they did with Reasonable Doubt a few years ago. The Roots will probably be involved. A special edition of of the dead tree version of XXL could already be in the works – unless there’s concern about whether or not it’ll still be around at that point. I pray that it is, mostly (read only) for selfish reasons.

Jay-Z knows better than to ever let a silly rap beef turn into a series of drive by shootings, like in one of those early ’90s-era hood films, as parodied in Swingers. Not only does Jay-Z have the sense not to hang around a Suge Knight. Jay probably doesn’t hang around very many black people period, other than Beyonce – and that’s just because she makes more money than him, and that way he doesn’t have to worry about her trying to take him for half if/when they divorce. He just has to buy her father a few cars. Which is chump change to him. Jay-Z doesn’t get out of bed in the morning for what it takes to buy a few cars. It’s a smart move, if you can handle constantly being around Beyonce. I saw a segment on her on 60 Minutes, and apparently she prays a lot. I wonder if she forces Jay-Z to say a prayer at night before the two of them go to bed together and he curls up next to her gargantuan ass. Does the Illuminati know about this?

But besides Beyonce, Jay-Z has spent the last decade disassociating himself from various black people: cutting Dame Dash out of their joint business ventures, just because it wasn’t clear where he contributed any added value, as if the entire music business isn’t made up of people who don’t know shit about either music or business; dodging calls and emails from people he used to sell drugs with, and pretty much everyone he was ever on a label with except for Memphis Bleek, who’s one of the most dedicated of weed carriers. I know last week Consequence was declared the greatest weed carrier of all time, but I think a case can be made for Memphis Bleek. Has Consequence ever been captured on film offering to bring either Kanye West or Q-Tip a blossoming onion from Outback Steakhouse? It makes sense, if you think about it. Those blossoming onions are good than a motherfucker. They’re supposedly the least healthy thing you can eat in a chain restaurant, even though an onion is ostensibly a vegetable, and I believe it. But otherwise, Jay-Z can’t have too many black people around, embarrassing him, having loud phone conversations about weed while he’s trying to take a picture with Warren Buffett. I used to have to take summer vacations with my uncle’s girlfriend. I know what it’s like.

But there’s a such thing as being a little bit too reasonable for your own good. Case in point, I saw where Jay-Z and Eminem were bringing out 50 Cent and all kinds of people at those ridonkulously expensive concerts at Yankee Stadium (having $200 and not spending it on either drugs or alcohol is not hip-hop, and I was like, Tha fuck? They could have at least said some salty shit about each other on stage. KRS-One used to tour with the Juice Crew, but that didn’t stop him from taking a certain glee in Marley Marl’s crack problem, and Dr. Roxanne Shante being a filthy hoo-er. (It’s amazing how that song continues to reverberate.) The MC battle is part of the essence of hip-hop. It’s what makes rap music interesting (along with the self-aggrandizement and the misogyny). Getting along with people is for suckers. I checked the Internets a few days later, and I saw where 50 Cent was talking about how he and Kanye West might go on tour together. Again, I was shocked. I guess they figure all of the money these days is in touring, and live rap music sucks so bad that they need all of the help they can get. Three years ago, they used beef with one another to land Kanye his best sales week evar, and Fiddy a huge, embarrassing failure that would be considered a success by today’s standards. But that was three years ago. Kanye West obviously has no faith in his ability to sell records, if he’s no longer to good for Twitter, or Saturday Night Live. It’s like he’s going through the archive of his all caps blog entries to find things to kowtow to. Next thing you know he’s gonna be down in Texas clearing brush with George W. Bush.

  • rog

    dont act like you dont know who yukmouth is. you should eat bacon wrapped chocolate for breakfast

  • Worley

    “that’s just because she makes more money than him, and that way he doesn’t have to worry about her trying to take him for half if/when they divorce.”

    If anything, he can take her to court. You have to respect that man’s business sense. If only Nas got the memo.

  • gaddic

    Jay-z is alot more smarter than Nas
    Business wise and Career -wise
    He just doesn’t have the same level of Nas’ Talent
    If he had that?
    Damn! He wouldn’t have to call himself the “GOD MC”
    I respect Jigga so much if he only his lyricism was as spectacular as Mr. Jones he would be my all-time favourite rapper!

  • MI

    having $200 and not spending it on either drugs or alcohol is not hip-hop
    ^^^
    i think this transcends hip-hop. but good point.

  • djdopefiend

    I like how you pointed out Reasonable Doubt isn’t as classic as Illmatic or Ob4cl. These lil new jacks i work with cant pull jay’s dick outta their ass.

  • sealsaa

    “Some hella expensive 10th anniversary concert where The Blueprint is made to seem as if it’s on a par with the likes of Illmatic and Only Built 4 Cuban Linx. Just like they did with Reasonable Doubt a few years ago”

    ^^Co-sign. Throw “Get Rich Or Die trying” on that overrated list as well.

    • DMC

      Wow. Mahfucka really? Believe me when I say Old Jay is the only Jay that matters and Illmatic and OB4CL belong in the same breath as Reasonable Doubt simply because it was innovative, lyrically on a high level than OB4CL and musically more consistent than Illmatic. Come on son! I love all of those albums but they belong in the category along with Ready to Die as then Best this art form has to give!

      • that nigga

        This nigga wildin’ son!! wtf. Illmatic and OB4CL are waaay above Reasonable doubt and GRODT. C’mon fam?

      • Jimminy

        When Reasonable Doubt came out no one thought it was that great. It wasn’t consistent musically, the beats were all over the place, Illmatic is THE best example of musical consistency while using different producers

        No one was claiming RD was amazing lyrically until Jay blew up a few years later, it’s some revisionist shit so that Jay-Z stans can claim he has a classic

  • og bobby j

    back in the day, beef was legit…now its all smoke and mirrors….

    GRODT is a dope album….classic? maybe…depends on qualifying criteria

    • Kev

      In no way is it a classic other than if you count all big selling records as classic.

      Look at some records universally hailed as classics: It Takes A Nation Of Millions, The Chronic, Illmatic, 36 Chambers, Straight Outta Compton.

      Now compare those against GRODT:

      Did it change hip hop like where everybody was trying to sound like The Bomb Squad overnight?

      Did it shift focus of the entire hip hop world to a new region like Chronic?

      Would hip hop not be quite the same if it didn’t exist like Illmatic?

      Was G-Unit launched as superstars for the rest of the decade like Wu were off 36 Chambers? (Answer: only Game was for a year until everybody realized he was wack. Buck, Yayo and Banks all had dud records.)

      And did it shock the planet with what was said like SOC?

      Answer to all: No. Not a classic unless you count anything that sells over 5 mil classic.

  • hate

    if reasonable doubt isnt a classic to you, its obvious you don’t have any knowledge of the game. Reasonable Doubt resonates more deeply with all the real hustlers that i know, more than ob4cl and illmatic. when your in the game that album just talks to you. it really speaks and teaches.

    • older than hate aka 6 100

      lil nigga, you must be 15 and a half years old.
      Reasonable doubt was re-released. It was good the first time around, but had to grow on you, like Fungus.

      Reasonable Doubt had 4 singles(In order of release)
      1)Dead Presidents
      2)Ain’t No Nigga
      3)Cant Knock the Hustle
      4)Feeling it

      Lets run through the time-line of this “classic”:
      August 1, 1995-OB4CL released
      October 10, 1995-AZ’s Doe or Die released

      -February 20, 1996-”Dead Presidents”releases as a single
      -March 26, 1996 -”Ain’t no Nigga” released as a single(Many people thought this was a Foxy Brown track)Reached #50 on the Billboard
      -June 25, 1996-Reasonable Doubt released
      -August 27, 1996-”Cant knock the Hustle” Released as a single (Most likely off the strength of Mary J Blige feature)Hit #73 on the Billboard hot 100
      -September 18, 1996-Reasonable Doubt certified Gold
      -April 15, 1997-”Felling it” Released as a single, hit #79 on the Billboard Hot 100

      -November 4, 1997 “In My Life Time, vol 1″ released
      -November 2 1998-Hard Knock Life, Vol 2 RIAA Certified Platinum
      -January 26, 1999-Reasonable doubt re-issued
      -February 05, 1999 “In My Life Time, vol 1″ RIAA Certified Platinum
      -December 4, 2000-”The Dynasty: Roc-La-Familia” RIAA Certified Platinum
      -February 14, 2001″Vol 3″ RIAA Certified Platinum
      -October 16,2001-”The Blueprint” RIAA Certified Platinum
      -February 7, 2002-Reasonable Doubt was RIAA Certified Platinum

      Nobody was Checking for Reasonable Doubt like that until Jigga blew up.

      To call reasonable doubt a classic according to the numbers is a blatant lie. It took 6 more album releases for Reasonable Doubt to go Platinum in an Era when everything went platinum

      • Chilly Willy

        So you learned to use Wikipedia…good! good!

        So Illmatic was platinum in 94 is what you sayin ?

        Anyway, a classic is not based on any individual taste only. The influence on the game trumps easily your personal preference.

        Reasonable Doubt IS a classic.

        Now for the goodie-goodies, the operative phrase in the whole blog is this: “Again, I was shocked”.

        Hiphop shocks ! That’s it. So in an era when everything was about the posse, breaking up and feuding was the shocking thing to do.

        Now, it’s the opposite. We’re expected to beef, so they team up.

        When toting gats was all the rage, the likes of Meth and LL Cool J did sappy Rap’n'Bullshit about sweet passionate love.

        As long as it’s unexpected, it’s right up hiphop’s alley.

        • 6 100

          My overriding point was that this album was not “Influential” until years after its release, when Jay was bigger. After BIG’s death in 3/9/97. Hard knock life is THE influential album that made Jigga a household name. Not Reasonable Doubt.

          Saying otherwise is revisionist history.

          Fact: Illmatic was more critically acclaimed at the time of debut than Reasonable Doubt.

          Fact: Most niggas outside NYC only started checking for Jay when Hard knock life came out

        • Kev

          The rap mags and their Stans were all over RD, but the mass population didn’t start checking it until the Napster era where they could check it out for free. That’s when I heard people going “Yo, have you heard Jay’s first joint?”

          Because until Sunshine and I’ll Be (mid-97) if you wanted to peep Jay it had to be on Rap City. And it’s not like he was the biggest cat on that show, his joints got sandwiched between flashes in the pan like Chino XL, Mia X, Crime Boss, Buckshot LeFonque, ect. And everybody thought Fugees, Bone Thugz and Snoop were going to rule the game for years. But it turned out Fugees couldn’t stand each other, Bone Thugz next joint didn’t sell and Doggfather was a 2 star record and Snoop quit Tha Row & went to No Talent Records. Then Jay and Roc just had to be doper than Master P and Puff Daddy which was much easier than standing out in ’96.

        • Kev

          Here’s the truth from somebody who remembers 1996-1997 very well.

          Until Sunshine & I’ll Be, if you wanted to peep Jay it had to be on Rap City. And it’s not like he was the star on that show, his shit was sandwiched between flash in the pan cats like Chino XL, Mia X, Crime Boss, Buckshot LeFonque, ect.

          Back then his shit was not seen as classic by anybody but the rap mags and their Stans. Real people believed Fugees, Bone Thugz, and Death Row were going to rule the game for years to come. But it turned out Fugees all hated each other, Bone Thugz next joint didn’t sell, Snoop split from Death Row fell apart after Doggfather got shit on and Suge went to jail. And then you had Puff Daddy and Master P (both wack as fuck) running things for ‘97. So Jay and Rock had a much easier time to get known in the game when those two wack labels was the top compared to ‘96 when the game was stacked.

          I don’t remember a ton of people saying RD was classic until they got it for free on Napster.

        • Kev

          Sorry didn’t mean to write that post twice. The shit said it lost my shit so I rewrote it. Internet bitches.

  • Anonymous

    Fuck rap music. Makin black folks look bad

  • sealsaa

    @og bobby j

    I wouldn’t put it in the upper echelon of rap albums. Take Biggie’s albums for instance. Ready to Die and Life after Death are dope albums. Classics? Not so much.

  • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine

    “offering to bring either Kanye West or Q-Tip a blossoming BLOOMING onion from Outback Steakhouse?”

    ^ fixed

    “now that some white woman from Canada owns Death Row?”

    ^ no she doesn’t. Them Canadian dudes took it from her and are trying to flip it.

    • anon

      Fag blogger stalker, kill yourself!

      • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine

        and you are…anon, as in anonymous, no name?

        LoL

        Do you have something to say about the blog? Or were you waiting for me to comment so you could sh^t? ‘Cause that would be stalking to me…and gay…concerning yourself with a man you don’t even know.

        • anon

          Cry your eyes out you lying sack of blogger wannbe shit. Always got something to say, if it ain’t about some failed artist you had, it’s how you studied 120 and “ran” with Wu-tang weed carriers or some shit. If you was really in the “game” you would be somewhere making moves instead of posting on fucking Hip-hop sites all fucking day.

        • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

          ^^^ and I’m the stalker???

          k. Just for you…

        • anon

          That’s the whole point of me fucking with you dumbass!

  • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

    Yo Anslem/XXL staff:

    Why do y’all keep letting this buffoon comment sh^t keep going on? Don’t y’all have moderators on the payroll?

    There used to be another 50-60 commenters I can remember by name who don’t comment anymore because of this garbage. The quality of this site has been brought DOWN because of the clown antics. More times there are garbage comments than there are discussions. Don’t these dudes have to use a certified email address? Redo the comment script where you can’t comment unless you have valid info instead of ANONYMOUS.

    They come HERE because they can’t comment on nahright, unkut and other respectable sites. You know, them sites that y’all post in the “best rap sites” that top your own.

    Let’s be real, you wanna reach the target demographic. But the REAL XXL demographic is the people who identify with the MAGAZINE, since it’s inception and have bought it. Yes more older people, who even remember a lot of the covers and older workers.

    Cats are calling this place XXFAIL, straight telling y’all you aren’t relevant and haven’t been in a while. If I was on the staff I wouldn’t be happy with this. Stop pushing the “new Coke” and go back to the original flavor Coke. Give people a reason to come back, not leave.

    * throws up the deuces for the homies and cool lurkers *

    * mean mugs the clowns *

    • Capital G

      You like that XXFAIL? (you’re all welcome for that tidbit of hilarity. The material writes itself sometimes) Might’ve just gotten myself censored though.

      I not only remember most of the covers, starting with the Jay w/cigar issue, I still have them in a giant stack in the closet. I stopped buying issues and let my subscription run out when all the Gucci, Souljah Boy, garbage ad nauseum started to dominate the magazine and website. When the Source took a shit, I didn’t care.(Benzino ruined that joint) Vibe was never thorough enough and seemed a little too “pop”. XXL really fell the fuck off and it bothered the shit out of me. Come to think of it, it was right around the time YN split for obscurer pastures.

      Here’s where the real can be found and discussed. (my money is on this comment never seeing the light of day):

      http://www.bboycult.com
      http://www.thetonygrands.wordpress.com

      Get a clue peoples.

    • anon

      Quit yer bitchin’, stop snitchin!

  • cmoney91

    blooming onions>>>>>>>>>rap music

  • mirce de moz

    get em syk the don

    • anon

      That was ah…really gay!

  • PUSSEE BEETAH

    ALL U NIGGAZ GAE

  • mirce de moz

    the word gay stay on ya mind don’t it?

  • Bol’s #1 Fan Stan

    sorry i havnt been around in awhile Bol. i missed u!

    YOUR MY FAVORITE BLOGGER, IM PROUD OF BEING A BOL STAN, FUCK THE HATERZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    btw good write up, shit had me laughin as usual.

    u gonna do a blog bout nick cannon threatening to slap Eminem?

  • alderman j

    If JAY wasnt such a SELFISH dude(was about to put nigga but that doesnt apply to that dude anymore) If he had never met DAME AND BIGGS, he wouldnt be where he is today bottom line. FOR REAL NIGGAS THAT IS ENOUGH TO STAY LOYAL!! BUT HE TURNED HIS BACK. SCREW HIM I AINT BOUGHT A JAY ALBUM SINCE HE SPLIT THE CREW, HIS TALENT IS THERE BUT I AINT GONE HELP MAKE THAT SELFISH NIGGA RICH. SCREW JAY. AND FOR THE RECORD,i truly believe if he hadnt broke up the roc which at the time which boasted multiple platinum artist, cam, twista, kanye, juelz, jay himself, they would still be running shit and he would be just as rich. SCREW JAY!!

  • black jesus

    “having $200 and not spending it on either drugs or alcohol is not hip-hop.”
    ^what else needs to be said?