Fighting In The Club: Always A Bad Idea

It’s story time, children. Everybody gather ‘round by the campfire glow of your computer monitors.

About a week ago I started a residence spinning at a local lounge here in Manhattan. The place was packed, as the scene was a combination of the lounge regulars, a few birthday parties going on and those who heard of the opening night. The smell of weed wafted through the air, and there was all the red velvet birthday cake you can eat.

Sounds like the perfect urban family reunion.

The good times went on until the wee hours of the morning crept up. After it finished I hopped in one of the few cabs that didn’t illegally drive past me because I’m black (if Danny Glover can’t catch a cab…) where, no less than two blocks after picking up the cab, I looked across the street at another club that was emptying out and saw what looked like a one-sided world championship match for the WWF Intercontinental Title between two guys, or rather, one guy and one human punching bag.

In the human punching bag guy’s defense, he was about a quarter of his opponent’s size, who looked like he bench-presses 18-wheelers for fun. But still.

That fight was unfair from the get-go, and the unlucky skinny guy had his face bashed in not unlike the way Kratos bashed in Hercules’ face in God Of War 3 (spoiler alert!), his white t-shirt painted with his own blood. The fight eventually stopped, though, when cops (and quite possibly, the amber lamps) pulled up to the scene. Or at least I hope it did.

To think, all of this took place in the five minutes it took for the traffic light to turn green.

It’s 2010, people; there’s really no need to duke it out in a social setting like this was the Tunnel in the late 90s anymore. Unfortunately, there are still some folks who go out looking for trouble like they’re members of The Rogues. There’s really no “winner” in fights regardless: all parties look like idiots that embarrass their female company, and when the cops come they force all that were unfortunate to get caught to share cells with Fleece Johnson for a night. I don’t know about you, but I’d never want to put my sphincter at risk all because I stepped on somebody’s shoes in a club.

Think about it: is it worth paying money – or even logical, for that matter – to go out and get your ass beat? Times is much too tough to spend money on hospital bills like homeboy who got the crimson mask installed on his face last week. And to said guy who was the unfortunate recipient of that mollywhopping clinic last week: was it really worth it in the end?

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  • BR(.)(.)KLYN

    Your right. I’m tired of all this fighting and drama when people just gather to have a good time. That’s why i haven’t been to parties lately knowing that someone will always fuck it up, starting from some silly thing and then turn it into a big deal and then to fighting and worst case scenario even killing someone over something not even worth it at the end of the day.

    For example the Drake concert couple of months ago at sea port, Manhattan. Some idiots just couldn’t stay still and wait for the concert to start and started to doing dumb shit for fun, and it turned into fights and the riot.

    SMFH people can’t even have a good time now days. Douche bags always ruin everything

    Can we have a toast for the douche bags and the assholes?

  • Sha

    Ok….. Kinda true. But as long as spectators sit around a view the fight (i.e. YOURSELF), this shit will continue.

    A good article to wake a few heads up. But writing does little to bring about change. Action is the mother.

    • eesco

      you say that as if an outside party is suppossed to jump in ther like mario in tyson’s punch-out (nes classic). It sounds nice in essence to jump in there and break up the sqabble but what happens more times than not if an outside party gets involved things get even worse especially if its someone neither of the fighting party knows. Niggas are so dumb these days that it makes it hard to be a good samaritan. you break it up and get jumped on or some silly shit.

  • Hannibal

    Some people grow up…. Some haven’t yet…Some never will..

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  • joey tunez

    lol @ assuming that the big bad attacker was just defending himself. its all the more plausible to assume that the bigger guy probably just picked a fight with someone smaller that he was pretty sure he could beat up.

  • Notorious AGC


  • EZWiderroller

    thats why i stopped going to parties and shit when i turned 21…i had all the parting out of my system…all i do now is drive fast cars and smoke lots of weed, and CHILL. no drama, no bullshit.

  • 6 100

    Meka, you’re not a New Yorker. You’ve never been to the Tunnel.


    And the cabbies dont pass you because you’re black. They pass you because they’re full. If you do some thinking you’d realize that when you leave the club, other people leave a lot of other clubs in the area. And drunk white tips alot better.

  • 6 100

    And the big guy was more than likely a bouncer

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    good topic and good write.

    when i was in college one of my good friends would fight everytime we went to the club. Honestly, you can’t break up every fight and after a while it gets old. Especially if its on some dumb ish.

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  • 91&^UP

    at least they were fighting and not shooting.

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