It seems like the best time for Young Buck to sue 50 Cent would have been before the IRS kicked in his front door, as if he were Redd Foxx and/or Willie Nelson, and took his poor kids’ Playstation.
The IRS might not have taken his shit, if he had a pending lawsuit against his employer. As I mentioned in my post back when his house got raided, it’s not like they don’t want their money. If they thought he was capable of writing songs anyone might actually pay to listen to, they probably would have let him keep his recording equipment. I read up on how this celebrity tax shit works, back when Wesley Snipes had supposedly escaped to Africa, and was facing a lengthy stretch in the pokey (nullus?), after he just said, fuck it, and didn’t pay his taxes for several years in a row, in which he made way more than you’d think – not because Wesley Snipes isn’t big time, but because this isn’t 1993. This wasn’t that guy from the Isley Brothers trying to avoid paying on the $200,000 or whatever he made from singing on those retarded R. Kelly records from back in the mid ’90s. They tossed his old ass in prison, even though I heard his health was all fucked the fuck up. He should have seen about doing a commercial for Taco Bell, like Willie Nelson back in the early ’90s, as mentioned on Bill Hicks’ Rant in E-Minor, arguably the best comedy album of all time, of ALL TIME, with the caveat that it’s only intermittently funny. I hadn’t actually seen that ad until fairly recently, when it occurred to me to try to look it up on YouTube. It really is as sad as Hicks makes it sound. It’s no wonder Willie Nelson smokes so much weed. He used to be someone you could take seriously.
I wouldn’t be surprised if weed played a part in Young Buck’s career arriving in the state that it’s in. I smoked some weed the other day for the first time in like half a decade, because my esteemed colleague Mike Bigga forced me to, just like that scene in Training Day (I’m pretty sure it had some PCP in it), and I was reminded of why I don’t really fuck with weed. For the remainder of the evening, I could hardly carry on a conversation. I was trying to explain to strippers that I’m from St. Louis, and I was just in town visiting, and my job involves sitting around in my underwear all day looking up pr0n on the Internets, with the occasional break to get the poison out (c) Dave Lampert, so on and so forth, and I’m not sure what the fuck I was actually saying. It was the opposite of the usual conversation I have with strippers, where they’re speaking in some sort of dialect that I didn’t even realize existed, even in Appalachia, despite the fact that they come from more or less the same place I come from, and the few that seem reasonably intelligent can’t explain to me why they’re doing something strange for some change, when they could probably get a well-paying job that doesn’t involve being molested by lonely Indian guys. Attractive white women who don’t breathe through their mouths or anything are the most employed people in America. I could still sense the lingering effects the next day, when I sat down to try to get some work done. Normally, writing a post for this site is just a matter of picking a topic to serve as a jumping off point for dick jokes and race humor, but I couldn’t even pick a topic. I thought to myself, “What do I usually write about, when my brain isn’t coated with a thin layer of PCP?” I probably felt the way most people feel when they try to blog. It was awful!
It makes you wonder if it’s even possible for 50 Cent to blackball someone’s career. Maybe 50 Cent just told Young Buck that G-Unit would never release any more of his music, and he couldn’t release any music elsewhere, because he was still contractually bound to G-Unit, and Young Buck believed it, because he wasn’t thinking straight. I doubt the white people who are really in charge over at Interscope would have approved, if only because it might be illegal. It seems like I’ve heard stories of people suing because someone, out of spite, tried to make it so that they couldn’t work in a certain industry, though I can’t think of a particular example off the top of my head. I read yesterday that Marley Marl claims, in some book, that Russell Simmons tried to blackball him from hip-hop back in the early ’90s, because Rush didn’t want him to produce Mama Said Knock You Out, but I happen to know that’s BS. Marley himself once said, in an issue of Scratch magazine, that the reason he disappeared in the 1990s was because he was on crack. I made reference to it in a post on this site, years ago, but the late, great Elliott Wilson made me delete it, because he said it was disrespectful. That’s probably why people seem to believe this Russell Simmons story. As if.