What kind of Muslim doesn’t support the Ground Zero Mosque?
Way back in like ’06, when I questioned which type of Islam Lupe Fiasco belongs to, prison Islam or terrorist Islam, the likes of TPAR got all butthurt. Some of them didn’t like the terms I came up with – prison Islam, for the type of Islam black people often convert to in prison, and terrorist Islam, for the type of Islam that’s led some (not all Muslims, mind you) to blow themselves up in exchange for sex with 72 virgins. Some of them resented the very idea that there’s a difference between prison Islam and terrorist Islam. Even though I’m pretty sure real Muslims, in the Middle East, don’t take black Muslims seriously. I know there were some attempts by the terrorists to reach out to the black youth here in the US, by way of rap music, Malcolm X and what have you, but that’s just because they need warm bodies. They’re like the US Army: when they get desperate, they start to ease up on their standards for recruitment. No shots at the troops, over there making sure I’m safe to sit around all day in the A/C, watching BangBros videos until my balls start to hurt. (That’s not bad for my balls, is it)? I’m just saying.
I couldn’t tell, just from listening to his music, the exact nature of Lupe Fiasco’s religious beliefs. I detected a whiff of Islamic fascism, in the parts where he criticized rap videos for having too much pussy in them. (Of course I’d beg to differ). But I know he’s from Chicago, which is like the Salt Lake City of prison Islam. Can you be a black Muslim in Chicago and not be a capital-B Black Muslim? Wouldn’t Farrakhan just have you shot, like he did Malcolm X? Wouldn’t bin Laden be pissed at Farrakhan, for killing Malcolm X, Prince of Islam? How come they didn’t have him taken out a long time ago? Or do they still find him useful for recruitment purposes? The whole thing boggles the mind. That’s why I try not to think about it.
But it just occurred to me again, the other day, when I read where Lupe Fiasco has come out against the Ground Zero Mosque. Which, of course, isn’t even at Ground Zero. I’ve heard it’s gonna be three blocks away, sandwiched in between a Burlington Coat Factory and a strip club. Or will it displace the Burlington Coat Factory and the strip club? I can’t imagine they’d purposely elect to build a mosque next door to a strip club, even if it was in a location that would be useful for upsetting the families of the victims of the attacks on 9/11. As much as I’m not with the people protesting the Ground Zero Mosque, I’ll admit, the idea of a mosque displacing a strip club bothers me. As an atheist, pr0nography might be the closest thing I have to religion. I’m definitely devoted to it. And I like the idea of a Burlington Coat Factory next door to a strip club: you can buy some clothes chicks aren’t attracted to (anymore), and where them next door to a place where the women are better-looking anyway, and not nearly as judgmental.
Put a Wendy’s next door to that, and we’d be in business!
I’m also not sure if it’s even a mosque. I’ve heard it referred to as an Islamic cultural center, though I’m not sure what that means, or what their motives were in calling it that. While I support the Muslims’ right, constitutionally, to build a big eff u to all of those dead firefighters and stockbrokers, I wouldn’t be surprised if they aren’t completely on the up and up. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere where they didn’t want to say where they’re getting the money to build this thing, which I’m sure costs a shedload of money, and it wasn’t on one of these conservative. I don’t really fuck with any conservative sites, unless you count Infowars (the troof has no political slant), in part because there’s only so much time in the day and in part because, invariably, liberal minded people tend to be a lot smarter and much better writers. I’ll read anything, if it’s enjoyable. No homo. Anyway, bin Laden might be funding this Ground Zero Mosque. I’m sure the government could find a financial connection between bin Laden and a ham sandwich, if they wanted to. They probably would have a long time ago, if this shit didn’t make for such a good distraction from more pressing concerns.
You can find the quote from Lupe Fiasco re: the Ground Zero Mosque somewhere at Vlad TV, if you’re so interested. I’d find a link for you, but this is the last day of my vacation, and I’ve got better things to do. I joked on my own site about getting some glitter on my face and eating crab meats, but I haven’t actually had any crab meats. I need to rectify that, before it’s too late. The gist of it was that Lupe thinks it’s important for Muslims to have a place to do whatever it is they do in a mosque (plot against western civilization), but he understands why this is a sensitive issue for the victims of 9/11, and that’s why he’s against it. Again, you have to wonder what his angle is in all of this. For all of the shots that I’ve taken at him over the years, I’ll concede that he’s not a dumb guy. How could he possibly be against the Ground Zero Mosque? Er, the Muslims’ right to build a mosque at Ground Zero, if they want to. I hate to see a mosque built anywhere, even inside a bum’s asshole, just because I hate to see people mislead, but what’s right is right. It’s what separates us from countries that don’t have as many rights as we do, assuming there are any countries that don’t have as many rights as we do, at this point.
I’m left with either one of two conclusions: (1) Lupe Fiasco is about as Muslim as I am skinny. (2) The TIs told him he had to come out against the Ground Zero Mosque, or else they wouldn’t release Lasers. Which one is it, Lupe?
 Something that just occurred to me about the 72 virgins: Does it matter when you blow yourself up? What if you’re old and about to die of cancer or some shit anyway, like Christopher Hitchens? There wouldn’t be as much sacrifice, but you could still take out a lot of Jews – which is what really matters here, right? You should still get like, 36 virgins. If there were a such thing as Allah, I might go for that, when I’m old (hopefully) and about to die. Instead, I might take a shedload of heroin.