Turn me off

The last time a track from Detox leaked to the Internets, I could believe that the white guy from 2dopeboyz hacked into someone’s email, found something that might not have ever been released, because it wasn’t good enough, and liberated for our listening “pleasure.”

Dr. Dre, like all artists, probably comes up with all sorts of things that aren’t quite good enough to be released. The main difference between Dr. Dre and most artists these days being that instead of firing off an email to Nah Right, Dr. Dre leaves his throwaways sitting on a hard drive somewhere, where they can’t do any (more) damage to his “brand.” And god bless him for it.

“Under Pressure” sounded to me like Jimmy Iovine called him up and told him that if he could come up with a song that sounds like some shit Lady Gaga would sing over, he could get Lady Gaga to appear on it, “on the arm,” as they say in ethnic white neighborhoods. Which would be an especially good idea, because Lady Gaga is inexplicably popular right now. She might be the most popular artist out right now, right up there with Justin Bieber, despite the fact that as many times as I’ve heard her songs I couldn’t tell you how any of them go. She seems to have a decent singing voice, but clearly that’s beyond the point. The production is so overwrought that you could replace her with any ol’ white chick, and it’d be hard to tell the difference.

One thing I will say is that, even though Lady Gaga isn’t the most conventionally attractive woman (which is actually one of the things I look for in a white chick), she seems to keep her body in pretty good shape, even though she’s supposedly dying of Lupus or some shit, and I’m pretty sure I read somewhere once that she’s on cocaine. (That’s probably how she got cool with Kanye and Kid Cudi.) There’s a lot of really good pictures of her wearing next to nothing at all. I’m sure some of it is Photoshop, but there’s only so much Photoshop can do. Case in point, her ass. Pretty much all of the pictures of her ass are unfortunate to say the least. But for some reason that hasn’t stopped her from having her ass photographed more than anyone other than maybe Kim Kardashian. I don’t understand why that is. It’s almost as if she’s just fucking with us. Take for example that Rolling Stone cover from a few weeks ago. Very few white women could be photographed at that angle and come off well, and unfortunately none of them are famous singers. That’s just not how their bodies are constructed.

But I digress.

Dr. Dre probably came up with “Under Pressure” with the thought that Lady Gaga could sing on it, but then it didn’t turn out very well (at all), and he decided against it. Jimmy Iovine may have even put the kibosh on it. I’m sure he’s making a lot more from Lady Gaga these days than he’s made from Dr. Dre in a long, long time. He can’t be having her put out some ol’ bullshit (even more so than usual) just because Dre needs to get his career back in order. Forbes just released its annual list of hip-hop’s cash kings, and I noticed motherfucking Akon (Lady Gaga is signed to Akon’s vanity label) was third on the list, right behind Jay-Z and Diddy, in what could be the first year in a good half a decade that I haven’t so much as heard Akon’s voice on the radio. If he’s putting out music at all these days, it must only be popular in his native Africa, like Milli Vanilli, after it was revealed that it was really a couple of 50 year-old guys and a chick singing on those records. I’m sure whatever Akon gets per Lady Gaga album sold hardly compares to what the TIs get.

The dead giveaway lies in the fact that a completed “Under Pressure” never did hit the Internets. Remember when Dre, probably at some event to promote Monster Cables, was talking about how he wasn’t pissed that the white guy from 2dopeboyz hacked into his email, Lupe-style, he was mostly just disappointed that people didn’t get to hear the finished version of the song, which he was working on and which should be available in a few weeks. I’m pretty sure that was more than a few weeks ago. The summer is more or less over. Kids are already back in school. I can tell, because my neighborhood feels safer. (How come kids get all summer off anyway?) Dr. Dre seemed all excited about “Under Pressure” at that Red Sox game, but I haven’t heard so much as a peep from him about it ever since.

The plan at this point must be to ditch “Under Pressure” in favor of this song “Turn Me On,” which must have hit the Internets at some point last night. Or maybe the plan is to “leak” a series of songs that could be from Detox, to see if any of them receive a positive reaction. You can tell that, unlike with “Under Pressure,” this latest leak is TI-orchestrated, because it fades out after one verse, as if that’s the way people record songs. They must not have wanted the entire version out there, in case this is something they can get away with selling. Maybe Jay-Z, who sounds like the ghostwriter here, has something special planned for the second verse, like a weird sexual reference involving Dr. Dre’s steroid use. And I’m assuming that’s why the sound quality isn’t the best in the world, even though all of the other elements seem to be in place. He can’t claim that this one doesn’t have a chorus yet – unless the one we hear here is a placeholder, to be replaced by Justin Bieber. He did say something on Twitter about being in the studio with Dr. Dre, who taught him a few things about producing. He may have even done this beat.

  • JayeHill

    I think Dre has been holding his album back this long cause he cant make a hit record, and he knows he is going to FLOP. It wouldnt been the first time ….anybody remember “Been there done that?”

    • Bol

      Shut up and die.

    • JamesM

      Erm, “Been There Done That” was a huge hit at the time, and the video was on all the time… maybe you weren’t born then or some shit

      • Bol

        And here you are coming on to my blog to talk that shit. Lulz.

      • JayeHill

        I actually bought that cd, I remember listening tto it once and never playing it again. It was trash compared to his body of work up to that point.

  • Jaye305

    That was harsh my brother ….im just tired of waiting for something that cant live up the expectations at this point. It has been way to long.

  • cinnastarr

    Bol,
    You are commenting… I love yo big belly… Tell me you love me too.

    • Bol

      I love you, not in a teh ghey way though. I mean unless the offer’s there.

  • Worley

    Dre doesn’t need to release Detox. A n!gga damn near 50 years old has no business running around the world shaking his ass on stage. Dre generated 17 million last year behind the scenes, exactly where a grown ass man should be.

  • Sha

    Dude…. Are you serious?! You get paid for this?! This blog sucks.

    As far as The Good Doctor goes…..

    I’ve been over my Dr. Dre fannation for a while. In his Death Row days he lobbied heavily to be an executive and to move away from performing. Now he has done just that.

    There’s a part of him that keeps wanting to come back. Growing old is hard to do. Just ask Jigga and any other cat that has given years in sweat and blood to the game.

    But this whole Detox thing has come and gone. Dre needs to put it to bed. PERMANENTLY. You have your paper. You have your family. You have your deep library of hits. Do us a favor. Do yourself a favor. Stay corporate. Please. Because judging on this leaked track, the world has changed and left you in the past. Don’t damage your legacy further. DO THE PERMANENT CORPORATE BOUNCE INTO RETIREMENT.

    • Bol

      Yes I get paid just enough for my Thunderbird and herbal medication habits. Also, fuck you.

      • Federal Ranga`

        Thunderbird? Hold up, nigga… V6 or V8?

        Commission!!!

  • gaddic

    Only time will tell
    Haters & dickriders

  • Saratoga N. Blake

    If Dre was still an artist not a dead-ass fraud of a retard brand, he’d hire a ghostwriter (hah) to scribble down something about–

    HIS SON WHO OVERDOSED

    Speaking of “family,” and “keeping it real” (the two LAST things bullshit hip-hop is about.)

    Dre’s beats have sucked for nearly a decade too, what’s the excuse there?

  • El Tico Loco

    As far as the anticipation of Detox I have to give him (Dre)the b.o.t.d. in the fact that if you get detoxed you will no longer have cravings, looking at how long we’ve been without a Dr Dre album period, nobody’s craving anymore hence the concept. But on some real shit tho? For some strange and rare reason I agree with Sha as far as him just fading into the executive background, not because he’s older now; is not his fault he couldn’t die in his prime and didn’t stop loving to do what he does, but because what he’s done in the background has been successful and the pressure he’s put on himself to top what he’s done already when Detox drops is gotta be real overwhelming.

    • DV8

      “As far as the anticipation of Detox I have to give him (Dre)the b.o.t.d. in the fact that if you get detoxed you will no longer have cravings, looking at how long we’ve been without a Dr Dre album period, nobody’s craving anymore hence the concept.”

      thats exactly what happened for me. I stopped “craving” for that album after it didnt come out after Game’s 1st and 50′s second album. then to top it off Eminem said something to the effect of “we are going to make him do it” and we see how that panned out.

      When ever the album drops ill check it out but its not on my musical priority list and hasnt bee in a while. Right now im just waiting on Redman’s next one.

  • Face Phoenix

    I want to like Dr. Dre like I did nearly 20 years ago but I find this anticipation for Detox – self defeating. I feel like telling him stop talking about and just bring it out. Dre has been doing this garbage for years. He did it before with talk of “Helter Skelter” that album he and Ice Cube were going to do – never happened. Then he talked about a N.W.A. Reunion with Snoop standing in for Eazy – never happened. Then he talked about an album with Timbaland called “Chairmen of the Boards” but once again it NEVER HAPPENED. It’s one thing to say I would like to do an album and a whole other thing to say it’s coming. It nice to dream but to get fans hopes up and not deliver is hurting your credibility. Either wait until you are finished and have all the red tape out of the way before you make an announcement or don’t do it at all. Fans need to give talk of Detox a rest… it comes out when it comes out just like that Lauryn Hill Comeback – I’ll believe it when I have it in my hand.

  • Q461

    Detox dropping Neveruary 32nd 3012 lol

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  • acordianism

    everytime i read “the white guy from 2dopeboyz” i LOLZ

  • HellNaw

    Bol all over the comments??! hahha…damn.

    Either he’s really disappointed by Dre’s pointless album leaks or he just found out that the ‘HotBlondieLovesMandigo’ on CraigsList.com he’s been contacting is actually a 53yr old dude.

    Anyway, I would like Dre to drop something interesting.I dont expect him to drop a Chronic or anything.Just something that’s honest to where he is at right now.Not trying to hear a multi-millionaire 45yr old talk about sticky-green and hollow-points.

    • Bol

      You should have seen the sweater puppets on the pictures of the snowbunny that dude was posting. I didn’t know it was a man. Don’t judge me.

  • fuckadetox

    it makes you wonder doesnt it, having to leak songs off an album to see if people are gonna like your album, he should just call the album Insecurity. What did he do before the internets?? Send em to Eazy E’s jerry curl hair stylist for an opinion?? Its time to just grow old and get a pension Dre. Or he could always hook up with Cube and them and do a NWA reunion. Er, no.

  • grillz

    nobody can hate on someone that know’s how to put out classic music there is a reason he does music and the rest of us……..well u get the picture speak ur mind but keep it real everybody that loves everything hip-hop is anticipating the best album to come out from top to bottom since jay-z the black album honestly who ever heard a bad dr. dre track any music of his that was leaked probably won’t be on the album

  • Selfish Gene

    I don’t think Jimmy gives much thought to the Hip-Hop on his slave-boat. Em sold enough to to hit the Hip-Hop quota.
    Jimmy is more interested in pedalling that dogdy-dance music, which tries to replicate the Ibiza sound circa 1993.

    I’ve been waiting for Detox so long, I’ve added it to my resume as one of my favourite pastimes.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=88677 Jay

    i remember for the past 5 yrs.. minus the past yr i been rly excited for detox.. then ihear that bullshit half ass song and now turn me on lmaoo.. there is in no way am i buy dres CD.. and i buy mad cds i collect cds but his will be lucky if i burn it ha.. i bought ems new one last one before that was raekwons and wu massacre and next up is lloyd banks

  • *yawns* Forget Dre

    I really don’t care about Dr Dre at this point. He hasn’t dropped an album in nine years. He has been promising “Detox” since 2002. I’m over it

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