$60 never went so far

First of all, I should point out that posting might be a little bit half-assed this week. But this time I have an excuse! I’m down in the ATL eating crab meats and putting chicks through college. I got here yesterday afternoon, and I’ll be here for the rest of the week.

I already paid for about $60 worth of higher education last night. Er, maybe more like $45 worth of fancy book-learning and $15 worth of drinks. Which might not seem like a lot, but I’m down here all week, and it’s not like I’m made out of money. I work in hip-hop journalism, fer chrissakes. I don’t want to end up having to rub one out in my actually-kinda-decent hotel room by the end of the week. I get Showtime here in HD, so that’s a distinct possibility, I just don’t want it to be my only option.

Anyway, these chicks didn’t seem to be worth much more than $45 over the course of about two and a half hours. Hardly any of them seemed young enough or smart enough to pretend to be college students. The only one I actually talked to (some of these girls’ English wasn’t the best in the world) didn’t even pretend as if there was anything else she might be doing. Our conversation centered on the fact that the recession has been particularly hard on strippers down in Atlanta.

I was surprised, since the ATL has the reputation of being a lot more baller and a lot more strip club-oriented than, say, my native St. Louis. Even though I do seem to recall reading a story, maybe via Sandra Rose, about the weird effect that the economy has had on the strip clubs down here. You’d think that ridonkulously high unemployment would lead to better-looking and, erm, friendlier strippers, but it’s actually had the effect of attracting a lot of women who don’t have any business working in a strip clubs: a lot of older women who got laid off from professional jobs, women with hella kids they can’t afford to feed, so on and so forth. You get a lot more applicants, but they aren’t necessarily worth a shit.

I can only imagine what it would be like to be the guy whose job it is to decide which girls get to do something strange for some change and which ones have to march themselves downtown to “the welfare,” like Gabba Ray Sebadoh in Precious, but (presumably) with a much nicer body. I’ve worked in places where part of my job involved fielding applications from a seemingly endless stream of meth heads clad in their Sunday best, and smoking hot teenage girls. I notice we seemed to draw equally from either category, based on reliable transportation (which is why a lot of black people stay losing) and availability. Except for this one period, for about a year, where the manager was this guy who was my age; he hired nothing but smoking hot teenage girls. It was fucking sweet. The store didn’t seem to do any worse. It’s not like that job required any real skill. But I guess there was the possibility someone would have complained about discrimination. The BGM is not like a strip club, where you go to stare at girls’ cans. Well, you’re not supposed to.

Were the girls I met last night overcompensating for the effects of the recession? It’s hard to say, since this was my first time going to a strip club down here, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. For $45, I got quite a bit, and it was suggested that for $100 I could have gotten quite a bit more. Neither of the two girls I talked to about this would say what exactly I’d receive, but one of them assured me that no guy has ever left the club’s back room area unsatisfied. I don’t know if I’ll investigate that any further, but I might be back there this week, if I can. I’ll have to see what else is going on. I’m supposed to meet up with my esteemed colleague Mike Bigga, but apparently he can’t drive anymore, because he got caught riding around smoking a joint or some shit. What a fuckup.

  • og bobby j

    we all know you aint hurting like that…id broke them broads off with that 100 and got it in…

    ohh…you dont f*ck strippers? grow up son…

  • Sha

    Another Bol sex fantasy. Wow. It seems I was definitely on point with that 1 out of 3 of your postings are about some type of sexual activity. But what can I expect from a dude that calls himself “Bols”? Vivid is calling you.

    • Phillmatic

      You are a pole smoker.

    • Anti-Sha

      Nigga u pussy! Hahahahahaha

    • Bol

      Here comes this fun guy to comment with some more bitchness on another of my blogs. Lulz at you, young man. Lulz at you…

  • Worley

    “I don’t know if I’ll investigate that any further, but I might be back there this week, if I can.”

    Yes you will. That’s why you’re going back. Enjoy.

  • LowKey

    IDKY but i was kinda disturbed readin this…

  • LowKey

    U a weird nigga Bol……

  • LowKey

    weird shit…

  • http://www.emcdl.com EmCDL

    You betta take advantage of them recession-value hoes Bol! Ain’t like you get it on the regular anyway

  • cmoney91

    irrevelant to hip-hop a little(mike bigga,strip clubs),but your post was arkwardly adventurous.

    give it up 2 Bol=the black,more bloated charles bukowski

  • fastflipper

    100$ is already too expensive Bol

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Byron, hit up Papi’s Cuban restaurant for a bomb sandwich with a side of maduros. If the chubby, bald-headed queer dude is working the bar, ask him to make you a Mojito–otherwise, don’t bother. And enjoy the weather…it was mid nineties a couple days ago…

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • yoprince

      fat people don’t enjoy mid-nineties weather… no shots. Hell even I don’t enjoy mid-nineties weather, other than the half-naked girls, but you can get that at mid-80s.

      Bol, go to International Cafe on Buford Highway and get some hot wings. if it’s not run by some asian women you’re at the wrong place. still the best wings i’ve ever had. spicy but with an impeccable distinct flavor.

      also it’s something ridiculous like 10 wings for 5 dollars.

  • HellNaw

    I think this particulalry cheap service is a reflection of basic economics.

    According to most reports (i.e. the bunch of hiphop blogs I get the chance to read) ‘The A’ has a plethora of fruity brothers.I suspect this pushes the demand down and thus the price.No homophobic.Just saying.

  • Jerod

    Hey XXL, stop removing my comments.