Contact Us

Starting Five, Dead or Alive – If Rap Was a Sport Who’d Be MVP?

Tonight’s the night. On primetime television, LeBron James will finally declare to the millions of people awaiting his choice for his new kingdom. Honestly, he has to leave Cleveland in order to win.

The city is one where the ominous cloud of futility rains yearly on all of its franchises. If you disagree, mention “Red Right 88” around Brain Sipe; ask Ernest Byner about “The Fumble” or say “Game 5” within an earshot of Craig Ehlo and see what happens. Man should not be subjected to such misery and King James has to leave before he becomes another causality of the Cleveland Curse.

On second thought, it may not be a curse in the case of the Cavilers.

The methodology behind the Cavilers was bound to fail. Their success and failure is that they built the team around LeBron opposed to constructing a ring-collecting, trophy-hoisting machine piece by piece. It comes down to two variables—chemistry and cohesion. From role players to superstars, a team needs to be able to withstand the opposition. Now, will LeBron find utopia in the remaining teams clamoring for him? Time will tell, but maybe he can learn what to look for in a team from the list I’ve compiled.

Before I reveal what many (me and my Charles Oakley basketball card) consider to be the greatest team ever assembled, listen closely: This list is not denoting who’s the Greatest of All Time. This is merely a rundown on what attributes a team needs to succeed in the NBA, only I’ve replaced players with rappers. You get the point.

POINT GUARD: Jay Electronica
(John Stockton’s vision/Isaiah Thomas’ drive)
Okay, I hear all of your shouting that he’s “unproven.” That most of his fire has come from EP-style mixtapes and singles that have taken light years to finish. Well, you can tell it to the bums in the nosebleed seats. The gems Jay unearths on the handful of tracks he’s blessed are brilliant. Gaudy punch lines and useless adjectives are not found in his prose. At times, his demeanor is that of a machine that only knows the moment and the centuries leading up to that point. Plus, his emergence seems damn near predestined.

SHOOTING GUARD: Jay-Z
(Magic Johnson’s timing/Michael Jordan’s command)
Jay-Z maybe 12 years away from getting an AARP card in the mail, but he has remained timeless. He’s more than a chameleon changing with the times trying to remain appealing to the public. Brooklyn’s consummate rebel has had bad breaks and setbacks, but has always been able to know when and how to pique our interests. Plus, he understands how to utilize the magnetism of the grand stage and the prime moment. The man sold out MSG in less than an hour. Believe me. You want the ball in his hands when you’re down by two with :12 left on the clock.

Next Page

Recommended For You

Around the Web

Best of XXL

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://www.xxlmag.com using your original account information.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for XXL Mag quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!