Bitching is the new black.

I’ve fiddled around with that thought in my head for the past few hours, trying to properly expound on that idea. Only thing, there’s really no way to do such a thought without coming across as said bitching. But fuck it, that’s what these columns here are about anyways: bitching about topics, which in turn garners bitching from those who read it, which in turn garners enough hits to warrant the pay stub I get from here every month.

Thus, the circle of life continues.

A bonus of the technological advances of the Internets is that the entire world gets to see someone have a complete and utter meltdown, i.e. make a complete and total ass of themselves in the public eye. Whether it’s complaining about an album review that doesn’t necessarily paint their project in a positive light, or spazzing on fellow rapsters, or even spazzing on a random-ass person, bitching has all but taken the place of actual music creation.

What I enjoy the most? When the bitching occurs we, the music community, get an insight into what kind of individual the bitcher really is. In most cases it turns out to be a severe letdown, as it’s an example that most artists play nothing more than a Rorschach-masked guy developed for mass consumption, as if we’re not supposed to pay attention to the man behind the curtain. Say whatever you want about Rick Ross, but at least the guy is consistent (whatever “consistent” means in his world) when on wax, on camera or via a social networking site, portraying this character model he’s deftly assembled over the years.

I’d continue on, but I wouldn’t want someone to give the word to his “shooter” to jump off in my ass. Pause, Granddad.

There is a difference between airing out your grievances and flat-out bitching. When a person airs out their grievances it’s usually due to some existing problem that’s left them frustrated and feeling helpless, where the only thing that’s left to do is to start yelling into the air hoping someone will hear the cries. On the flip side, bitching occurs when an artist starts complaining because, despite having no legitimate reason, they are in the midst of some feminine-laced hissy fit. An advanced variation of bitching is also known as what I refer to as the Rodney Dangerfield Syndrome, where an artist will tack on a false presumption that there is a lack of respect from their peers.

Now that I think of it, those two are interchangeable.

We all love the sound of our own voice. It’s perfectly fine to admit it, too; why do you think I enjoy writing here so much? It’s for the same reason people feel the need to respond in kind to a post of anything from anybody. We’ve all complained, and we’ve all bitched as well. At the end of the day, though, nobody really gives a damn, and all the bitching, petitions, @replies and everything else in between ultimately mean nothing.

All right. Now I’m done bitching.