Who’s really responsible for the Detox leak?

You can tell Detox is shaping up to be the epic fail we suspected it would be as soon as we hear “Under Pressure,” just from how Dre is responding to it having leaked prematurely. Even if it were true that Dre has plans to do something to the song to change it from the shit sandwich we heard yesterday into something people might actually want to listen to, it wasn’t a very strong PR move.

At some point between when “Under Pressure” hit the Internets yesterday afternoon and when I rolled off of the couch this afternoon, Dre posted a text message-length statement to the Interscope Records website (which apparently exists) in which he of course explained that the version of the song you heard wasn’t finished, and as soon as he gets done working on it he’ll be sure to let you know.

Duh! We could figure as much from the crappy sound quality, only part of which could be blamed on the douchebag who felt it necessary to keep shouting his name over it. Anyway, I don’t seem to recall seeing anyone on Twitter complaining about how it didn’t sound clear enough on their shitty laptop speakers. All I heard was people complaining about how shitty the song itself was.

Fidelity problems I can deal with. In some of my favorite pr0n, I can hardly even tell what’s going on half the time, but I can still sense the overall, erm, spirit of it.

I’m not even sure if I buy that Dre himself didn’t have anything to do with the leak, like these stories you usually hear, where a haX0r broke into someone’s email, or somebody’s weed carrier sent it to Nah Right, unbeknownst to them. Dre must have leaked this shit himself, because he knew it was way different from what people were expecting, and he wanted to see what the reaction would be. He was testing the waters, so to speak, like when a closet case starts constantly referring to his junk, for no apparent reason.

The dead giveaway is the fact that you’ve yet to hear anything about the TIs going after whoever was responsible for the leak, even though we know for a fact that Dr. Dre is a litigious sack of shit, as discussed in The Best Democracy Money Can Buy, the book that precipitated my career as a failed journalist. If he’s willing to sue his fans for wanting to listen to his music, I’m sure he’d be willing to sue them for leaking his music before he’s even able to charge for it – not only is that theoretically (not really) taking money from his pocket, but it could be damaging to his “brand,” if said music sucks balls.

I’ve seen studies that show that having your music illegally downloaded on the Internets actually makes you money, though I’m not sure how true they were. They could have been conducted by someone who has an interest in being able to listen to music for free, i.e. pretty much everyone except the TIs. But it can’t possibly make you money, if it only has the effect of causing people to expect that your album is gonna be a shit sandwich. Especially an album as highly anticipated as Detox. Less than 24 hours ago, Detox was one of the most anticipated rap albums of all time. Now, it’s a collective reminder of the passing of time and the attendant deterioration of human ability.

Someone with the tools and the talent should try to put a dollar amount on just how much that douchebag who insisted on shouting all over “Under Pressure” cost Dr. Dre and Interscope. It’d be hard to measure, because it would involve determining how many people were interested in paying money for Detox before “Under Pressure” leaked, and how many people still are (significantly less, I’m sure), and there’s no way you could come up with a completely accurate figure. But even a ballpark number would be instructive. Even if you rounded down to the nearest million, I’m sure it’d be a shedload of money.

And it’s not like it’d be hard to find the guy responsible, since he went through such lengths to identify himself. If the FBI could find that guy on World Star who claimed to put poison in Gerber baby food (though they seemed altogether unconcerned with whether or not he killed Stack Bundles lol), catching this clown should be a piece of cake. You know the TIs and the FBI are tight like that. That’s why they put those FBI logos on the back of CDs. Who ever heard of some shit like that? You don’t see FBI warnings on any other products, now do you? I even heard they’ve got that fruit The-Dream working for them, recording secret messages in songs and shit. No wonder his music sounds so weird – it’s been doctored by the Illuminati.

That’s part of the reason why, as a general rule of thumb, I try not to fuck with any artist that seems like they’d do anything for a dollar.

  • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

    “You don’t see FBI warnings on any other products, now do you?”

    ^ DVDs sir. Amazing how the pr0n master can forget that…

    And although the leaked song is unfinished, it’s a mediocre track overall. I can bet Dre has scrapped songs that are way better than ‘Under Pressure’.

  • Worley

    Funny thing is I didn’t even bother listening to the track until you said how sh!tty it was. And it’s reeeeal sh!tty.

    Dre, a word of advice: rap n!ggas don’t want to hear that techno sh!t. I don’t care how much money Timbaland made selling that garbage to white folks. Rap n!ggas do not want to hear that sh!t.

  • gaddic

    THE TRACK WAS WACK AS FUCK!
    Go listen crokked I’S VERSION TO GET THE REAL SHIT
    BEAT WAS WEAK AS HELL TOO
    DE-TOX IS LOOKING TO BE DE-CRAP!

  • HNIC

    If that track is what we can expect to hear from Detox, then Snoop needs to supply Dre with a pound of his sweetest cheeba; i.e. the stickiest of the icky… pronto!

    Either that or I’m certain that he’s old enough to obtain a referral for the medicinal grade smoke for his “cataracts” condition. (Let’s just say that I know a guy…)

    My diagnosis is that Andre Young should immediately forgo his steroid consumption in lieu of herbal remedies for the time being, until the completion of his next magnum opus. Cause, this sobriety thing just isn’t working out for him.

    • Nate Dogg

      SMOKE WEEEED EVERYDAY!!!

  • El Tico Loco

    Dre forgot that he made his money making hardcore westcoast style music. Not saying that he gotta turn back the clock or nothing but go against the grain not with it like what we just heard. His brand can make a hard record go pop not the other way around.

  • Anonymous

    MOST OF YOU GUYS COMPLINING ABOUT THIS SCOTT STORCH AND DRE PRODUCED SONG WILL BE LINING UP BY THE MILLIONS TO BUY DETOX AS SOON AS IT HITS THE STREET,SIT BACK AND WAIT, BE QUIET ,GET YOUR MONEY READY TO BUY THE CD WHEN THE FINISHED PRODUCT HITS THE STREET

  • S.BEEZY

    MOST OF YOU GUYS COMPLINING ABOUT THIS SCOTT STORCH AND DRE PRODUCED SONG WILL BE LINING UP BY THE MILLIONS TO BUY DETOX AS SOON AS IT HITS THE STREET,SIT BACK AND WAIT, BE QUIET ,GET YOUR MONEY READY TO BUY THE CD WHEN THE FINISHED PRODUCT HITS THE STREET

  • Domjel

    “I try not to fuck with any artist that seems like they’d do anything for a dollar”.

    Damn good point.

  • The Unknown

    I believe “Under Pressure” was under achieving and crappy, thats why they had to release Eminems single first. That way Dre can prolong The Great White Rhino that is Detox. Jimmy and Interscope needed to know the type of reception Dre’s new sound would get and thats the reason for the leak. Needless to say, we may never hear Detox based on the reception that the sh!t stain “Under Pressure” recieved…….

    One Love

  • thatguyhuslaffinatyouguys

    yup! it really shows who knows hip hop in here….no one…this blogger shudnt even blog hip hop….no one knows the next level of hip hop, and hw the hell you gna review unmastered work, i knw how BY HAVING ONE BRAIN CELL

    no offence…ignorance is bliss, this page shows it

    • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

      So we don’t know Hip Hop because we’re reacting to an unfinished song?

      That’s an ignorant statement.

      I don’t think you know that a large percentage of music posted on websites are un-mastered works, that’s why they have ‘dirty’ & CDQ labels. CD quality doesn’t mean mastered.

      And I don’t know your Hip Hop pedigree, but I have heard plenty of music un-mastered, even not mixed or arranged, and can still get a grasp if it’s a good song or not.

      Thank you for your time.

      • General

        I have to disagree wit ya on this one Syk. One thing I have learned from experience is until Dre’s tracks are fully mixed and mastered your not getting a good idea of what it is going to sound like. That is where Dre seperates himself from every other producer in the game. Yeah you can get an idea of how the the verses sound, but without the hook and without Dre putting his touches on the beat, which doesn’t happen until he mixes it, then no you are gonna have a good idea of the record. I think that is why Dre is pissed and why i also completely disagree with Bol on this one. Dre wouldn’t let one of his tracks see the light of day until he had his time to mix it down completely…

        • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

          Gen whaddup!

          I’ma use the Shyne ‘Messiah’ track as an example. Most cats strictly deaded the track just because of the voice, but I hear a lot of promise in that track, which could have used mastering for the people to get a good feel for it, because that same mastering that can clean a Dre track can clean a Shyne voice.

          Even if/when they do clean this up, I’ma still think it’s nothing special from the heavy hitters.

          The same way I can hear ‘Imma Be’ from BEP last night and say that is a hot song (which it is), sometimes you can just hear that banger, no matter which form it’s presented in.

    • Just Me

      Well if thats how you spell “offence,” then ignorance must certainly be blissful.

      Oh, and this track is terrible…

  • JC

    This is about the dumbest crap i’ve ever read…

  • geico lizard

    “I even heard they’ve got that fruit The-Dream working for them, recording secret messages in songs and shit. No wonder his music sounds so weird – it’s been doctored by the Illuminati.”
    ^^^
    That would explain how his fat ass keeps getting so much pussy, the Illuminati is hooking him up with sexy hoes. Dream is that fat kid who was in high school band that no cheerleader would ever date. Now that Dream is a semi famous artist he cant be faithful to a woman because he cant turn down pussy. I co-sign getting alot of pussy but I cant co-sign cheating on people that is corny as chicken shit.

  • nicholasdelorejo

    After listening to “Unfinished Business” I can only conclude this one thng that I’m sure everyone is going to bash me for: right now Kanye West is the best mainstream hip-hop producer. Not hating on Dre’s legacy, but pound for pound Kanye is currently a better producer than Dre. Fuck the bullshit about his antics. Kanye’s discography is one of the best in hip-hop: “College Dropout”, “Late Registration”, “Graduation”, “808 and Heartbreak (minus the autotune dude really showed his growth as a producer), “Be” and “Finding Forever” (Common); “Blueprint” and “Blueprint III”, and plenty of tracks for many of many of the current rappers and singers (Alicia Keys and Keysha Cole).

    I’m just saying that I honestly don’t see any way Dre can remaster that track. And dude had someone like Scotch Storch who made Fat Joe’s “make it rain” track. Also didn’t Storch say in an interview that Detox was nearly complete. and for an album that Dre has been claiming to have been working on constantly you would have thought that the tracks he had scraped would’ve influenced the creation of “Unfinished Business” to be far more complete. The track sounds like it was created from scratch. Either the tracks before it and were used to inspire it were far worse than
    Unfinished Business” or this is best Dre can produce.

  • ff1one@yahoo.com

    As the lakers hoist another championship i would just like to say, never count out a winer. Dre has a proven record. Remember AFTERMATH….no no…Remember Death Row? The doubted him…no no…remember nWa? they doubted gangsta rap. they doubted dre could do it on his own. they doubted he could do it on his own label. I remember the first single for aftermath with dude dancing in a suit. i remember laughing at easy e’s spoof of him. Dre still delivered. All i’m saying is, don’t count dre out.

    cosign: kayne is puttin in work.

  • http://xxlmag.com yunggee

    there was a point in time when dre was da shit.. i think he took 2 much time off n he doesnt really feel inspired 2 much .. cuz dat shit he did wit jay was average.. im not sayin dat he dont got it in him.. i jus dont beleive the hype, especially in dis time and age.. with dat being said i dont care 4 detox..

  • 4mat

    BOL-Shit

    no matter how the good the album will be
    it will never live up to the exceptions

    fuck it, i personally can’t wait 4 “Detox” to come out

  • e-furious

    what does TIs mean bol mentions everytime?

  • that nigga

    @ e-furious: Tall Isreali’s. Song fuckin sucks. But I still believe in Dre so…Im coppin Detox, fuck what y’all thought!!

  • KLETEWOOD

    I thought “Crack a Bottle” sucked ass when it first leaked. Em was rapping over Dre lyrics…the hook sucked. That was the first song I’ve heard with Em, Dre, and 50 in a few years and I was extremely disappointed.

    However, the song was one of iTunes top selling tracks for the year (It may have broke a record before I’m not afraid dropped).

    Anyway…the track rebounded. The album sold a couple mil.

    Samg thing will happen with Dre. Yeah…the song sucked. But, its not on the radio. Half the people won’t even hear the shit sandwich version.

    All in all…Detox will still sell (if it ever drops).

  • GMan

    What a terrible article.

    People get way too obsessed with leaks these days, judging the entire album from one bad unfinished track. We all know that Dre can put out some fantastic tracks, but we really all need to wait until the album actually comes out to judge what Dre has become.

    Honestly even if Detox doesn’t live up to all the internet hype, who cares? 2001 is still probably the best rap record ever recorded.

  • Tupac

    That track was shit, but who actually said it was for detox? Dre will be making hundreds of tracks that he would never use, as bad as the track was this article was a lot worse! Who the fuck wrote this?!