Slim Thug goes to strip clubs primarily to eat

The more I learn about Slim Thug, the more he seems like the coolest guy ever, aside from making music I don’t particularly care for.

Last week, he did that great blog post for Vibe in which he gave black women advice on how they might not die poor and lonely. Black women themselves didn’t seem to appreciate it, but I guess that was to be expected. The only way they could have not proved Slim Thug’s point for him was to not respond at all, or, god forbid, to take steps towards making themselves more desirable. A good first move to that end would be to acknowledge that he’s right.

Black women don’t seem to get that Slim Thug clearly loves black women, as evidenced by the fact that he’s dating a Halfrican American, as opposed to a full-on white chick, and the fact that he’s even bothering to give them advice on how to trap a black man. If he really hated black women, the last thing he’d want to do is give them relationship advice, for fear that they’d turn around and use it to try to get with him. It’s the same reason slave owners didn’t want black people to learn how to read.

I checked Sandra Rose just now, and I see where some stripper who was complaining about dudes who hang out in the club and don’t tip singled out Slim Thug. Presumably, she felt his behavior was especially egregious, because he’s a famous rapper. She said he’s infamous in the strip club community. I can relate, to a certain degree, because in that video of Ashley Logan going off on me on Kay Slay’s show on Shade 45, she claimed to know of several video hoes who have a problem with me, though I don’t make enough money to spend a significant amount of time in strip clubs.

Maybe I’ll start going and not tipping, and see how well that works out. I’ve had chicks yell at me from the stage before for not tipping, but I’m pretty sure that was because I actually went and sat next to the stage during a stripper’s set without setting out so much as a dollar. When chicks yell at you from the stage here in the Midwest, it’s not on some, “Ha ha, this sorry bastard only came to the club with $20 and is trying to spread it out over the course of an evening shit.” She seemed as if she felt genuinely violated (pshaw!) and may have been trying to warn her coworkers of my presence.

It wasn’t my proudest experience.

If I had some money in my pocket and decided to leave it there, it was probably just because I didn’t think the girl was that hot, and I was waiting for someone a little more deserving. The girl may have been Asian. Not that I hate Asian people. It’s just a personal preference as to how I’d rather spend my money. A man can have a preference, right? You’d think she’d be flattered that I even bothered to position myself near the stage, if several other guys in the club opted out altogether, but that’s just not how a woman’s mind works. Every stripper must think she’s hot shit, for the sheer fact that she’s a stripper. How she ranks compare to other strippers doesn’t enter into it – even though it’s been proven (more or less) scientifically that beauty is objective in nature.

A guy my father went to school with goes to strip clubs all the time. I remember one time my father asked him how he could justify the expense, but he said he hardly ever tips or gets dances or anything. He just goes there to eat, hang out and watch the game. He treats It like a Hooters where the girls don’t wear any shirts at all. Which sounds like the way to be, except I don’t know if I like the idea of eating in a strip club. A topless Hooters that maybe costs a few bucks to get in sounds like the ideal restaurant, but guys don’t blow their blow their loads at Hooters. Or at least you’re not supposed to.

(Pro-tip: First of all, don’t go to a strip club in your refractory period, if you live an area where strippers are allowed to do the whole knee in the crotch and what have you, but second of all, I heard the other day on the Stern Show where a guy was suggesting making a tiny crown of toilet paper for your unit. You know, for easy cleanup purposes. The next time I’m on the East Side, I might try either that or spraying a lot of Scotchgard on the front of my khakis.)

In his response to the salty stripper (issued via Twitter, natch), Slim Thug explained that he has a similar philosophy with regard to strip clubs. He’ll go, have a meal and leave. It’s not like he’s there for a free show. (If a free show just so happens to be taking place nearby, then so be it.) He’ll even bring his own girls. The latter makes me wonder if his Halfrican American chick is down for hanging out in strip clubs. I’m already jealous that she’s well-educated and has no interest in his money. Don’t let me find out she watches him get glitter on his face.

You know, come to think of it, as many times as I’ve seen couples together at a strip club, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a guy there with a black woman. Black women might want to take a little time this afternoon to reflect on that.

  • Dee-lone

    If you don’t tip at a strip club that serve food, I’m sure your wings will have doo doo dust on them.

    • Escobar9300

      Hahaha that comment about Doo Doo Dust had me rolling!

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    “When chicks yell at you from the stage here in the Midwest, it’s not on some, “Ha ha, this sorry bastard only came to the club with $20 and is trying to spread it out over the course of an evening shit.” She seemed as if she felt genuinely violated (pshaw!) and may have been trying to warn her coworkers of my presence.

    It wasn’t my proudest experience.”
    ^^damn, that was pure gold! *DEAD*

    • Mad Rocks

      HAHAHAHA shit is mad funny! I done seen it happen! lol

  • FlaMarlin

    I couldve smoked 4 the braincells I jus lost readin this…

  • Fastflipper

    nah if you try to tip everybody and making it rain for sure they gonna get the best of you and you gonna end up alone

  • Sha

    Let me get this right…. Dude eats in a strip club???? How is that cool? You’re eating in an establishment whose primary function is to get niggas dicks hard for profit??? Really??? If you thought your local KFC had sanitary issues, do you really believe a strip club is a step above, or below? Not to mention the occasional loser that leaves the semen stain on a chair, or the stripper that forgot to wash her ass….
    Slim Thugg…. I was willing to give you a pass on the comment about black women. Hell… I even agreed with you a little. But this is potentially the most gay or red-alerted health hazzard statement you could have ever made. Especially in public. Nigga… You lose points for that one. Real talk.

  • Ant Banks

    You know, come to think of it, as many times as I’ve seen couples together at a strip club, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a guy there with a black woman. On the realest level I aint heard of that either great observation

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  • ri067953

    Mayne, most of you guys are retarded. First of all, I don’t know any dudes that go into a strip club and get hard and blow a load all over the place. I bet that strip clubs are cleaner than most hotel rooms.

    What is wrong with going to eat at a strip club? It isn’t like the cooks are whipping up a meal in the buff. Some of the upscale strip clubs have a full menu with steaks and the whole bit.

  • W. J. Rice

    They’ve serving food in strip clubs all this time?

  • swype-matic

    Bol’s a fuckin’ idiot. That’s all.

  • dat k00n nigga

    diz dirty black hoes readingz thiz shitz on da nigro net dont know how good they have it

    dayz needsz a niaggz like slizm thugz even doe diz niggz dont sell records no mo

    evenz in da singlez digitez

    • Dlo

      Moreefa ??? lol

  • http://sonnysaz.com/ I Heart Arizona Stripclub

    I don’t know what to say about your post…I’m an African-American female, and I go to the strip club with my husband. We don’t go often, but when we do we tip well. You should. The women are not working for free.

  • http://poop immortal cunt

    blow my load

  • Devi Gargon

    forget opinion, Im just gonna tell the truth.

    I was not a fan of eating at strippies, but I was on 7 mile and my boy was all about it. They had a leather bound menu, I ended up having Salmon and Asparagus. Shit was good! It changed my perception from then on.

    As far as payout, I go to play pool. I dont go to trick. In many cities the strippy is better than the club! Theres always a cover charge. Im with bol, if you arent my style , i dont have to tip you!

    So , to bring it all together, while I was eating salmon,I didnt tip a one of those chicks, they werent my type!

    • geico lizard

      @Devi Gargon-Most people like you who eat fish in a strip club end up with herpes around their mouth,roffle.

      @Bol-You are a fool for sitting by the stage not tipping. You have to sit at least one row of chairs back and just enjoy the show onstage and the lap dances near you. If the dance is next to you she may rub against you by accident and you can smell her and get some glitter on you for free. I dont go to the strip club broke and I eat before and after I leave but not while im there.

  • http://www.emcdl.com EmCDL

    glitter = stripper dust

    And do dudes really blow loads at the strip club? Word? LOL

    I’d never eat in a strip club, I don’t care if its an upscale one.

  • Face Phoenix

    Whenever I meet strippers with an attitude like “You should be happy I’m here at all” I instantly know skip her ass. I met a dancer in Niagara Falls who told me she won’t dance for anything less that $60… needless to say she spent her night doing a lot of laps wondering why no one gave her any play. Attitude is everything. You can’t go at making money like it’s entitled to you – you have to hustle and adjust to the clientele. One of my favorite dancers knew her deal… she wasn’t hottest girl there but she was the hardest working and understood to appeal to the ones who are interested in her & stay cool with the ones who are not.

  • Moving Sideways

    I go to the strip club with $10 in nickels and make it hail in that bitch.

    • Worley

      “$10 in nickels and make it hail in that bitch.”

      Funny sh!t.

      An ugly, scrawny chick got up to dance one night and I fished a random penny out my pocket, flipped it at her ass and it stuck right there. The whole club went up in laughs.

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  • thoreauly77

    true story:

    i once got off of work waiting tables and the bartenders had been pouring me tequila shots all night long (don julio anejo) while i was working. by the time i clocked out, i had a stack in my pocket and one helluva buzz. after staring at all the pretty titties and asses walking in and out of my bar and restaurant, lets just say i wanted to see a little bit more. enter the spearmint rhino.

    it was right across the street and i new the samoan doorman. it didnt take me long to settle in, watch one round of the girls, and choose one for a lapdance. there was this sexy ass white girl who was (un) dressed up like a cowgirl, who i had been throwing ones at. she took me to the back for the 2 for 1 and everything was going good until her crotch made its way up toward my face: holy mother of god! that cowgirl smelled like she used her pussy for a saddle!

    instant boner kill.

  • Brooklyn

    i see it like this, if i’m hungry, i go to a restaurant. if i wanna see titties, i go to a titty bar. for me, the two should never mix. i don’t like the idea of some ho shaking her pussy at me while i’m trying to enjoy my porterhouse. bending over and making her ass cheeks clap, sending sweat, ass and pussy juices and god knows what else into my plate, hell nah. there’s a time and a place for a bitch to pop her pussy, and it’s not while i’m having dinner.

  • Brass Tacks

    Naw, if you a cheap bastard then that’s just what you are. Don’t try to justify it by putting out an overly long statement about your frugality. Makes everyone else look bad because fockers want to tip less then 2%, then want to look at you like everythangs goodie. Stay you asses at home and eat t.v. dinners….

  • Apollo Moses

    Post was true and on the money bruh! The club in the country got the thickest dances around and several dudes be in there shooting pool, drinking high priced imports that kill the $20 drinking budget and plenty don’t tip at all. The best is a $2 door charge along with huge Flat screens … and the wings are bangin(sumthin sittin on your lap).
    Slim Thug debut wasn’t bad at all and he is crazy. So is the term “doo doo dust” LMAO!

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  • 1nfamous

    Finding a hair in your food is definitely not a good thing…