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Karmic Retribution

The last time I threw hands at a woman was about 15 years ago against my twin sister. I couldn’t even tell you what started the fight but all I remember, among other things, was giving her a Ken Shamrock-style belly-to-belly suplex off the steps in our mom’s house. While we fought multiple times in the past, I’d never once think of scrapping it out with her now whenever we argue, nor would I ever fight with women. Shake the shit out of a woman, yes, but never throw down with her.

That’s not to say I don’t think no woman is above catching fades, however. Call me a chauvinist, but when footage of the Kat Stacks slap heard ‘round the world surfaced I couldn’t help but feel… well… like in some way she kind of had that coming. That’s not to say that she deserved some random goon viciously backhanding her; for a brief minute I actually thought it was a fake since the sound of the smack is something usually heard on television shows or movies. But let’s be honest with ourselves here: Kat Stacks is no Michelle Obama. Hell, Kat Stacks isn’t even a Michelle Trachtenberg, Michelle Williams or Michelle from Full House. Kat Stacks is – to put this delicately – an unscrupulous, slovenly, wretched swine of a woman that’s seen more tea bags than a Lipton factory who, perhaps inspired by other heaux bags such as Karrine Stephans and Nas’ first baby’s mother Carmen, is inexplicably making a living from publicly chronicling her tawdry tales with today’s top (and I use the word “top” loosely) weed carriers, giving out people’s phone numbers and other such disgusting acts. If you honestly think that she does not deserve some kind of karmic retribution, then I have these magical beans to sell to you as well.

My only issue was the culprit in the matter, who then forced her to half-apologize to Fabolous and Bow Wow. While it doesn’t necessarily mean that John and Shad sent some guys to rough up Kat Stacks and tape it as a warning to all aspiring nut rags, if they were responsible in some way for it why couldn’t they have at least gotten a girl to slap up Kat, or at least one of those lesbians that dress up like men (you know what I’m talking about), instead? Perhaps the guy in the video was one of the peoples Kat Stacks aired out and felt so fervently that Bow Wow and Fabolous were the most hurt by her actions that he had to stand up for them as well, but even that doesn’t make slapping her out of a chair that more acceptable.

To paraphrase the words of one of the great bards of our time, Chris Rock, I don’t condone what happened to Kat Stacks yet I understand, and I’m surely not coming to her defense as if her actions did not warrant any kind of response. Perhaps now she’ll realize that not only is she not untouchable, there will be an equally negative reaction to every negative action she’s done. And once again I’m not saying she should have been hit, but at the very least be glad she didn’t catch something worse than that.

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