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Time off for good behavior? What part of the game is that?

I would never want to suggest that Gucci Mane is anything less than a complete and total badass, because we know for a fact that he killed one of Young Jeezy’s weed carriers, plus there’s that video of him coldcocking a broad for having the sheer balls to try to get onstage at one of his shows, but it’s still kinda lame that he’s getting out of prison after only six months, for good behavior. I’m not saying he should try to talk to the judge about spending any more time in the pokey than he already has. I’m just saying.

I’m always suspicious of rappers who go to jail and end up getting out way early, for good behavior, when you hear about regular people going to jail, and it’s the exact opposite. They start off with a relatively light sentence, then they have to stab somebody, probably to avoid becoming someone’s bitch, and the next thing you know they’re locked up for 20. I read an interview once with Maino where he was talking about how he went to jail when he was a kid, and he ended up staying there for like a decade or some shit, even though kids don’t usually get locked up that long, in part because he would get into altercation. Granted, I wouldn’t describe Maino as a normal dude. In interviews he comes off as a genuinely nice guy, but he looks scary as shit, and you always hear these stories about him randomly slapping the shit out of people.

Gucci Mane’s sentence was only 12 months. He may have been better off just doing the entire 12 months, even if it meant getting into a fight, or exposing himself to a female corrections officer (the offense I’d commit, if I were locked up and I needed to get some time added onto my sentence), just so there wouldn’t be any question as to whether or not his time behind bars counted for something. I mean, I’m sure any time spent away from your family, eating shit on a shingle, sharing showers with other dudes is just awful, even more so than blogging for a living, but the fact that Gucci Mane apparently didn’t do anything that would have caused him to have to serve the entire length of his sentence leads me to believe that his stint wasn’t sufficiently bad enough to boost his street cred. You’d think someone would have tried to beat him up, because he’s famous, or eff him in the a (ay!), because he seems kinda doughy and retarded. Plus, I read the other day how prisons are striking deals with these snack food companies where prisoners can order all kinds of nachos and pizza and shit. Dudes are coming out of prison chubbier than a motherfucker.

I read the other day that Gucci Mane started his own record label, from inside the joint, though I’m not sure what that means. I wouldn’t put any credence in reports that Gucci Mane started his own label on the outside, let alone in jail. It sounds like he may have just announced that he’s starting his own label, not unlike how Damon Dash just kinda announced that he’s resurrecting Roc-A-Fella Records. (Did you see where he said he’d consider signing Jay-Z? Roffle.) If that’s the case, I might have to start my own label this afternoon, as soon as I come up with a good enough name for it. Or maybe I’ll just resurrect the name of a great record label from the past. They don’t still put out shit on Sugar Hill Records, do they? Nah, that sounds kinda gay. Anyway, isn’t Gucci Mane already signed to Wonder Bros., making that Bugs Bunny money? What does he even need with his own record label. The thought that he might put out material by other artists is rendered moot by the fact that I’m at a loss for anyone who would sign to a label run by Gucci Mane. His album flopped, he goes to jail like once a year, he appears to always be high, and he’s got like umpteen pending lawsuits from promoters his MGMT ripped off. Even Ozone magazine had to run an expose on the shady nature of his business dealings. (Let that sink in for a bit.) If I had a choice between signing to a label run by Gucci Mane and a label run by Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern Show, I’d seriously have to consider Beetlejuice. He might not have a normal adult level of intelligence, but he’s got ambition.

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