The Flip Cam Theory

Does anybody remember that old episode of What’s Happening!!, where Rerun got caught tape recording a concert by the Doobie Brothers? I never really understood how exactly capturing an audio recording of a live concert is a condemnable offense, but perhaps the phenomena of people whipping out digital cameras to grab any and everything could be traced back to it.

When I lived in Los Angeles, it wasn’t a thing to lock myself in my chambers and – in between the updating of the main hustle, eating meals that have likely shortened my life force by four score and seven years and the occasional… alright, constant perusal of porn (I’ve watched way too many “episodes” of Oh No! There’s a Negro in My Wife to keep count) – catch a show I couldn’t attend thanks to the multitude of overzealous concertgoers providing various, poor-sounding angles of that event. Now that I’ve moved closer to the Atlantic, the few times I leave my tilt to see a concert I’m fighting for a clear shot of the performer as a shitload of Flip Cams are thrust up into the air blocking my view of the entire thing.

One has to wonder what exactly what becomes of that footage. Most of the stuff out there is either too blurry, too choppy or just plain sucks ass to really use. Hell, approximately 17% of all footage that gets recorded actually ends up on your favorite website (*ahem*). The rest ends up as YouTube fodder, left to fight for views amongst old episodes of Solid Gold, Jackass reenactments gone wrong and those cornball video responses to other videos uploaded to YouTube.

You know, I kinda miss the days where it wasn’t a thing to see some schmag twerk what her mother and the hormones found in a bucket of fried chicken gave her on YouTube. Thank God[dess] for RedTube, though.

Perhaps the true reason people are constantly recording shows is so that they can get the satisfaction of actually seeing their flicks on their favorite websites (*ahem*). Not that it’s a bad thing to have your footage go public, but so often do people hastily rush an unwatchable video to the e-press that it makes me wonder if they went to the show for that sole purpose. If that’s the case most of us won’t watch that footage to begin with, because that facet is usually shown in its crappy quality.

I’ll be honest: the influx of video recaps, while beneficial for hermits/cheapskates such as myself, makes thing that much more impersonal. Yet the few times I actually attend a live show I’m been unmoved by the experience. By far the biggest letdown for me was attending my first-ever Jay-Z concert last year, and standing there with a blank stare because I had seen his routine done a thousand times over without having to venture outside my bedroom to do so.

The last thing we need, however, are videos that give us unworthy folk a “sneak peek” into the lives of everybody else. A perfect example was when I walked into the Atmos sneaker shop one day late last summer to see some jackass and his peoples talk greasy to a guy holding a Flip Cam (if you’ve ever hit Atmos, you’ll know how hypocritical filming a Smack-style video in a high-end sneaker boutique is). And remember when Tru-Life tried to make us jealous by using Ace Of Spades as a substitute for milk in his bowl of Frosted Flakes? The urban community has a quasi-bad rap as is; there’s no need for random displays of nignorance for the world to mock.

All I’m saying is that more people should leave the digital cameras at home and simply enjoy life. It’s not like swacking a bootleg movie online, where the experience is more pleasurable since you can watch a film on your own schedule, and you don’t have to worry about a group of rowdy folk fucking around in a theatre. By the way, if you bring your child with you to an R-rated flick, I suggest you have your kufi forcibly removed from your scalp. Also, if anybody knows how to score a copy of Kick-Ass that was “submitted for Oscar consideration,” you know how to reach me.

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  • Worley

    That flip cam sh!t is definitely annoying. A fella can hardly watch the show or find a good dark spot to smoke without worrying that some fool might have me on camera.

  • Teddy

    The fuck is Ace of Spades?

    I know what an Ace of Spades it but an Ace of Spaces as a replacement for milk Im guessing its slang for something else.

    Why would you have an Ace of Spades in your cereal as a replacement for milk? Someone please explain.

    • frogg

      Ace of spades is a really expensive liqour or chamagne that jayz owns

      • Trin

        Jay Z DOESN”T OWN THAT

        IT is a Champagne that used to be called Armand de Brignac.Jay started shouting it out insted of Cristal.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    I had to recently enact a “No Cameras” rule at Casa Herbz.

    Women were bringing little camera phones in their vaginas and flip cams and wired joints with the camera in the lapel pin. I didn’t mind it at first because I assumed they’d just console themselves with our little video keepsake whenever they couldn’t have the actual thing due to me fucking another bitch.

    But no, this one girl hits me with a paternity suit, demanding millions, and after I denied ever meeting her like I always do, she pulls out a mini video player and presses play on a clip of me taking-it-to-the-end-zone type deep on her. I was stunned and contemplated ordering a hit on her, but eventually justice prevailed. A DNA swab of her vagina revealed that she had over 14 different men’s semen inside of her and at least one microgram of canine semen, but none of the samples matched the Herbz’ supersperm. A sample of her facial tissue did hit postive, however.

    Next time I’m giving these bitches a full cavity search for electronics before I give them a full cavity probe. Word to mutha…

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

      “A DNA swab of her vagina revealed that she had over 14 different men’s semen inside of her and at least one microgram of canine semen, but none of the samples matched the Herbz’ supersperm. A sample of her facial tissue did hit postive, however.”

      *puts on blindfold and runs into traffic*

      • Brass Tacks

        *angrily ponders who the hells trying to steal his moment by running through traffic blindfolded no less… Takes an elevator to the top floor of tallest high-rise throws up the middle-finger and plummets towards the chaos below….

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  • Tiffany

    You can watch kick-ass at tvshack.net Thats is if your serious.

  • sly1

    @ Teddy
    Ace of Spades is a liquor/champagne (not sure which exactly) that certain rappers love to say they drink cuz it costs a shitload

  • Lacee

    Totally off the subject, does anyone remember the EA Sports Rap Battle hosted on here? I was so into it at first, thought I’d see a Shells vs Eyedea type outcome, but as the battles went on, it became more humorous than anything. They kept pushing forward the loser into the next round till it was 90% conceivable that the winner was preplanned from the beginning, which turned out to be a guy named Sanatra I believe? He wore a lot of hats and said the word baby at the end of everything which was hilariously mocked by Clifton Fermi. That’s my real question, does anyone know what happened to him, cause I never laughed so hard by someone posting comments in forums in my life. Each round he’d lyrically destroy each rapper that won, none of them would battle him back, they’d just get salty and tell him he was a jerk and stuff lol. I want another free style battle hosted, XXL needs to put up some goods, free subscriptions, shirts, cds, dvds, or whatever and host a new round of battlers with actual talent this time.

  • Lucy

    nignorance
    Ha!
    nuffsaid

  • ri067953

    This guy said “the few times I leave my tilt…” man, he must be from L.A. and he must be around my age to even still say something like that!!!

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