So if you haven’t read the news, the real Rick Ross is planning to sue the rapper Rick Ross for capitalizing off his name. Our music editor Rondell Conway spoke to the former drug trafficker yesterday about his legal action against The Bawse, and I gotta admit I felt bad for the poor guy.

Peep what he had to say:

“I just want my name back. I don’t want to have to be ‘the real Rick Ross.’ When I go places I have to explain to people that I am the real one because Def Jam has put him on TV and now people recognize him. It causes a conflict.”

After spending close to 15 years in jail a former corrections officer steels his name and now he’s forced to have millions of conversations that start off just like this:

“Hi, I’d like to pickup a pie.”
“Sure thing, buddy. What’s the name on the order?
“Rick Ross.”
“For real? Dude, you’re the man. ‘Hustlin', hustlin’!!!”
“No, I’m the real Rick Ross.”
“Oh, my bad, sir, Would you like a soda with that?.”

That’s gotta suck, right.

So do the man a favor, Bawse. Make like your new manager, Mr. Sean Combs/Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Sean John/Diddy, and switch up your moniker. I know you’ve been trying lately with Teflon Don and Albert Anastasia, but like your current alias, those joints are already taken.

Sorry.

I would offer you some suggestions myself but it’s so much more fun to have are crafty commenters do it. So guys and gals (there are girls here, right?); what should Rick Ross, I mean rapper Rick Ross, change his name to? —Jesse Gissen