Brown Skin Syndrome

If by the grace of God[dess] I’m fortunate enough and/or able to procreate, I’d actually prefer having a son to a daughter for a few reasons. For starters, it’d keep the family name alive, as I’m the only male in a tribe full of women. I think it’d also be easier keeping my son out of prison than my daughter off the pole. Finally, I know what kind of teenager I was, and how I viewed/lusted after women; I’d go crazy/quasi-violent envisioning teenage boys lusting after my seed that same way.

Furthermore, it’d just be weird having her deal with this silly brown skin syndrome that plagues the rapster/urban community, where nobody’s really happy with anything in regards to skin color, hair texture, anything. Whenever a video drops, as was in the case of Wale’s “Pretty Girls,” the bleeding pants feminist collective took him to task for allegedly not having enough dark butts in the video, as if he filled the damn thing with nothing but bleach blondes. But because of the (in my eyes unnecessary) backlash, Wale had to piece together another video to appease them.

In this case, I don’t think he should have listened to the whims of some spaz-happy YouTube video. I’m would go into a discussion about women who bark all day on the brown paper bag test in society yet won’t do anything to actually fix the situation, but this post isn’t about that. Besides, everybody should know that music videos are not indicative of the urban culture at all. If any part of it were true I’d be scribing off the shores of a beach on Dubai, not freelancing in my living room while still rocking my pajamas.

It’s almost a lose-lose situation: if a song comes out praising women, other women complain that there’s not enough darker women in its accompanying video, but if a video comes out with said darker women in it the song is ass-backwards. The greatest worst thing I saw this week (so far; we still have two more days to muck it up) was the music video for Lil Jon’s “Ms. Chocolate,” a song dedicated to the “darker shade of brown” women of the world, but with “Get Low”-style lyrics. “Brown Skin Lady” it was not, but since it’s 2010 and most of the world is stupid (it’s like Idiocracy is slowly coming to fruition), this, sadly, is as best as we’re gonna get.

To top it off the shit had fucking R. Kelly on it. I mean, R. Kelly? Really? Robert Sylvester Kelly, spokesperson for the chocolate women? Seriously? I mean damn, he’s a reason I don’t want to have any daughters.

If I, as well as some other folks, don’t seem to mind about the skin color of a woman in music videos since we tend to pretty much like every woman of every hue, why the fuck should one person listen to what an apparently butthurt chick (who was rather light-skinted herself, might I add) on the web says? It’s 2010, and people aren’t really working with much in the brain department anymore. Give the rapper an A for effort; at least be happy the women in the video weren’t being sprayed with expensive bum wines.

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  • OG Matt Herbz

    Yeah, I don’t know why the black video hoes are so opposed to white video hoes–I’ve been fucking them for years and have yet to catch anything so much as a cold. Except this one time when I almost caught a charge…

    At my last video shoot, there was a scene where the women were washing my Escalade and you know they were doing the stereotypical “lathered titties on the window” bit. To finish off the scene, I was supposed to inspect the vehicle–at which point I would notice a bit of dust on one of the wheels and then backhand the bitch at fault.

    Well, right before filming, a representative of the White Video Vixen’s Association stepped up and handed me a signed court order to include more white women in the video or I would face a civil suit. So, I threw the white girl on hand in the scene and we started filming…I’m rapping “Never take no lip from bitches, put the bitch on the lip of my 26s”…then,


    I straight broke a flip phone off the side of that video ho’s skull! Knocked out COLD! They tried to press charges on me, but once I showed them the fine print on the signed release, they backed down and never hounded me again to include some white bitches in my videos.

    Frankly, white bitches ain’t built like that…I don’t know why anyone would want them in their video.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • Nunya

    ^So…how long did it take you to come up with that lie?

    • beaver

      co sign hahaha..
      dude is full of it..

      • OG Matt Herbz

        You two can be in my next shoot. My cell phone cracking against the side of your face will turn bullies to believers.

        –OG Matt Herbz–

  • Mogul


  • Brando

    The only Brown Skin Lady I fux with was made by Mos Def & Talib Kweli.

  • P. Harris


    Who the fuck cares what complexion the bitch is… Is she fucking or not!?!?!??

    I personally don’t go by hue. If she looks good and she fucks and sucks… I mean damn? Who’s going to be like “naw, she too dark!”


    Damn, I hate rap…


    I co sign to a certain extent. the color shouldn’t matter. She just needs to be beautiful with a nice body and not a certain beauty or certain body. Ya, hip hop gets caught up in the trends versus setting them like it was intended on doing in the beginning. I personally perfer brownskin to darkskin.

  • Lucy

    I’m a brown skinned woman,
    and IDGAF whos in videos who likes me or not
    black women need to stop givin that shit so much power cause it really dont matter

  • HU

    I’m pretty sure not being in a rap video is a good thing. If you look at Forbes richest people you’ll find none has ever appeared in a rap video. You can also reference Time’s list of the world’s most powerful and respected women and none have ever been anywhere near a rap video.

  • James Moore

    I like that Idiocracy reference lol

    & I wasn’t feelin the backlash on the Wale vid
    even before I saw it

    I believe a man has the right to like whoever he wants & express that in the video
    if that’s who he thinks are pretty girls than get over it, half the women complaining are the same ones that said Wale was ugly, so why do they care?

    not to mention that most videos are casted without any input from the artist

    & not to mention that Wale has a song on his album about himself having issues about being dark skinned

    what more do you want from him?

    Bill Cosby didn’t like the content of a lot of rap music, so he executive produced his own rap music, to put that content into the mix, people have the option to listen to that instead, people could do the same with videos
    instead of complaining about his preference

  • Ricardo

    Lool Meka you did it again

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