Why Rawse signed with Diddy

The other day, there was a story at MTV News in which Rick Ross explained why he’s now managed by Diddy. I should have read it at the time, in case I needed to write about it at some point, but I didn’t, because I’m lazy, because I’m black. It’s since been buried underneath a million stories about Bret Michaels (who probably hadn’t been on MTV since 1991, before he had that stroke), Justin Bieber, and what the girls from The Hills had for lunch – which, admittedly, interests me as much as almost anything.

The gist of it, which I gleaned from the dek, is that Rawse felt like he had so much to learn from Diddy. Which wouldn’t seem to make sense, since Rawse is the man at this point, and Diddy is just some sad relic of a bygone era. If anything, Diddy could probably learn so much from Rawse. Rawse is one of a very small handful of rappers with a viable recording career at this point. His last album, Deeper Than Rap, did very well by ’09 standards. Many people actually liked the music on it, and the rest of us enjoyed it as an unintentional comedy masterpiece. He even survived being outed as an ex-cop, and a beef with Fiddy in which Fiddy did all kinds of foul shit involving his family and recorded the best (and some would say only good) 50 Cent song since “Wanksta.” Diddy, meanwhile, can’t even get a release date for his album, despite the fact he’s ostensibly the boss of his own label.

The only thing I can think is that Diddy can teach Rawse how to expand his career outside of rap music. Diddy probably makes a shedload of money from endorsing Ciroc vodka, those silly reality shows on MTV, and probably a buncha other she we either forgot about or weren’t aware of in the first place. He’s probably got more or less the same amount of money as Jay-Z, and he hasn’t had a genuinely good idea a day in his life. Jay-Z at least put out Reasonable Doubt. The Ciroc endorsement is especially bothersome to me, since I’ve been mentioning Yellow Tail on the website of the most popular rap magazine there ever was, for going on half a decade, and I haven’t received shit in exchange. Not even a complimentary bottle of their delicious Shiraz. I mean, it’s not like Diddy actually does anything for Ciroc, other than constantly appear to be drunk off it. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him in a Ciroc commercial.

But it’s not like I’m famous anywhere other than white rap concerts (oxymoron?) with almost all dudes in the audience. Nullus. Rawse probably should have been had his own line of crab meats by now, just based on how often he mentions them in his rhymes. If he can’t partner with an actual brand of crab meats (since I’m not sure if crab meats come in brands like that), he might want to see about partnering with Long John Silvers. A few years ago, they introduced a product they call lobster bites. I don’t think they were ever that popular with black people, their primary demographic, because they cost like a dollar more than the fish, if not because they’re not really lobster. They’re actually hermit crab. In fact, I think I read once in the world’s most accurate encyclopedia that they’re actually a type of insect. And worse, they taste like shit – though I’m not sure if that’s just because they come from Long John Silvers. They might be pretty good, at an actual restaurant. Don’t French people eat a lot of weird shit like that? A Rawse endorsement would obviously alleviate all of those concerns. Even the taste issue.

Who knows? This could be the beginning of a profitable new third act in Diddy’s career. The trying to be an actual musician thing obviously hasn’t been working out very well for him, nor did the running a successful rap label thing, post-Biggie. But he always did have a certain knack for standing behind people with a modicum of talent, adlibbing, doing silly dances and what have you. I was reminded of this just now, when I heard the new Jay Electronica “featuring” Diddy. Which is the shit, btw. Like a 2K10 low expectations “Who Shot Ya.” It was nice to have Diddy in the background doing his “take that, take that” routine, for old time’s sake, and it was even nicer that he obviously didn’t have much creative input into the record. Could it be that Diddy has finally found the ideal role for himself in hip-hop?

  • Ayre

    He said he can’t stop and he won’t stop!

  • http://www.mikestreezy.com Mike Streezy

    Lol @ Ayre! Diddy’s about money and regardless of what anyone says, he always finds a way to get it. In the past, everyone has warned of how Diddy gets his in a sneaky manner by using his cars in videos and such for tax credits and signs himself publishing rights, but Ross is a cop so maybe he feels safer than others!

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  • latino heat

    the fact that people still go out of their way to be associated with this snake in the grass still amazes me. none of his former artists has ever had anything positive to say about doing business with him, ever. and yet people still sign with him. i just don’t get it.

    i agree with Bol, as much as i hate Ross he has been successful the last few years on his own. what can he possibly have to gain from another (very large) hand in his pocket?

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=78315 jay

    im sick of ppl sayin ross is a cop… a c.o is nowhere no how near a cop.. he didnt lock noone up or arrest noone he just simply watched inmates and walked thru the catwalks.. A C.O IS NOT A COP..now idk bout his coke dealin he might of pitched dimes here or there(not hard) but as for weight ..doubt it and he probably does lie a bunch in raps but i have to admit deeper that rap was a banger n i loved his shit on there..his albums from port of miami up have been hits after hits and actually quality raps.. he beat 50 lyrically even tho pimpin curly was absolutly fuckin hilarious lololol

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=78315#comment-1651173 jay

    oh yeah n diddy be robbin ppl too.. i read that story about usin his cars and bein in vids and then just takin money w.o artists knowin..thats foul but again diddy is the one who started them n would make noooo money from concerts/album sales if diddy hadnt discovered them.. now id be salty as a rap vet who put work in the game n still gets diddy robbin them but as a new upcomer how can u b mad..ur makin hella concert money and album sales as well..who r u to say different? he made u

    btw unless u hammered out great details on the contract..ross has nothing to gain

  • THE SNITCH

    IM GONNA SAY THIS ONE TIME….

    DIDDY IS A PRINCE HALL FREEMASON. THATS WHY NICKI MINAJ AND RICKY SIGNED WITH DIDDY. TO FUTHER THEIR CAREERS.
    DOESN’T IT SEEM KINDA LIKE NICKI MINAJ IS THE LADY GAGA OF HIP-HOP?
    SHES NOT REALLY BISEXUAL EITHER. THATS TO FUTHER PUSH THIS HOMOGENIZ NATION THAT IS THE NEW WORLD ORDER.

    • valdez

      i ain’t one to be co-signing no snitch, but that IS real talk tho, lol.

      • what

        What about that was “real talk”?

        If there really was an Illuminati that controlled everything, why the fuck would they care about a Nicki Minaj? Why the fuck would they want a Puff Daddy?

        Don’t you think they’d want people who don’t take every possible opportunity to call attention to themselves? Aren’t they supposed to be working from the shadows?

        Also, I suspect Mr. Snitch doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “homogenized.” It has nothing to do with Sodomites. If fewer people were heterosexual, the U.S. would be more heterogeneous, meaning less homogeneous. Look it up.

        • westcoastaggie

          for the 50 billionth time, Masonry IS NOT A SECRET SOCIETY. IT’S AN ORGANIZATION WITH ITEMS THAT ONLY MEMBERS KNOW.

          Stop watching the videos on Youtube and actually find out what the Org is really about on your own.

          “Those who speak, don’t know and those who know, don’t speak.”

          Ignorance is truly bliss I guess.

        • CLARK

          Im not saying i believe in the secret societies, but it def. wouldnt shock me if they were real…

          but ayways… the reason they would be interested in them is because, whether you like it or not, celebrities have a huge impact on our culture. There are sheep out there who worship these people and will defend pretty much anything they do. It’s the closest thing to brainwashing ive ever seen.

        • what

          What are you saying, exactly, Mr. Aggie? Where should I go to “find out on my own”?

          I agree with your quote, but you don’t follow through with it. If you know (or think you know) you should speak; make strong arguments; be prepared to defend your sources.

          Mr. Clark, if there truly was an occult secret society of puppet-masters pulling all the strings of international politics and culture, what would be the point of doing anything about it?

          Within that society, everyone would have to know everything about everything. There are too many unpredictable variables to leave anything up to chance.

          So, if there’s really an omniscient secret society pulling all our strings, what would we do about it tomorrow?

          Continue to knowingly shake our heads at the sheeple and go back to absorbing the teachings of a self-promoting radio talk show host with no sources or credentials?

          I’d rather deal with the real villains of our day and age. Goldman Sachs. Halliburton. Media conglomerates, the health insurance industry, Ron fucking Paul.

          It might not make us feel as cool when we talk about it, but we can see them. And because we can see them, we can resolve to bring them down by any means necessary.

          How do you fight an enemy when you don’t even know who he is?

  • sealsaa

    *Does the Harlem Shake*

  • fastflipper

    cops putting people in jails… C.O. are checking the jails so its the same thing

    they are the one beating down kids running reseach for no reasons in cells…

    so they cheap ass cops…when someone fails his cop exam he endup a C.O.

    good post Bol…again ! and like everytime

    hes a bizzzzzness man hes not a rapper<

    ross signed with him cuz diddy is dick riding him

    minaj cuz her ex manager was busy with her kid and gucci

    but yeah shes gonna fail big time…same for next Officer ricky

  • double 0 dro smoke

    nicki better then both them weak ass rappers, diddy jus a business man so of course hes goin to have ways of screwing you out yo money that you wouldnt even think of. “its a sucker born every second”

  • what

    Hey, Bol, good post, but you shouldn’t feel pigeonholed into being negative all the time. (NHJIC people don’t understand what “pigeonhole” means.)

    I would elaborate, but as usual, Trey Parker said it better than I ever could:

    “See, there’s three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn’t fuck the assholes, you know what you’d get? You’d get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!”

    Negativity is an easy way to get attention, but you can be a dick for justice. For example, Norman Finkelstein is a dick, and that girl at Waterloo was a pussy, but Israeli soldiers, apologists and politicians are assholes.

    I’m not saying you should “reinvent yourself” or drop the whole Uncle Ruckus shtick. Speak your mind.

    But, as Mr. Snitch above shows, some of your readers are in dire need of education. Not that Alex Jones bullshit, either, but the truth; big questions have big answers, and people need to hear it in a language they understand.

    [/preach]

  • 3rd eye clear

    @What..that be the realest sh*t you ever wrote!!
    Raising the bar on education..Not that No Child Left Behind sh*t either!!

  • hambone

    funniest blog i ever read

  • Mr. P

    Rawse Needs Diddy Like Precious Needs A Snickers-filled Cheeseburger

  • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

    “I’d rather deal with the real villains of our day and age. Goldman Sachs. Halliburton. Media conglomerates, the health insurance industry, Ron fucking Paul.”

    ^ Them the same ones people are speaking on.

    “why the fuck would they care about a Nicki Minaj? Why the fuck would they want a Puff Daddy?”

    ^ It’s been proven entertainment is a viable tool for propaganda (Inglorius Basterds/Germany/Hitler/movie theatre).

    “So, if there’s really an omniscient secret society pulling all our strings, what would we do about it tomorrow?”

    ^ Are you serious? You don’t know the hardest part is to convince those that it exists before action is actually taken? Thus there would be no tales of Jesus.

    There are those who were part of this scam and said NO, and are putting the masses on to game.

    I’m out.

    • what

      “Them the same ones people are speaking on.”

      Sometimes. More often, I see people presenting them as part of a larger “Masonic” “Illuminati” collection of nonsense. That’s what gets me.

      “It’s been proven entertainment is a viable tool for propaganda (Inglorius Basterds/Germany/Hitler/movie theatre).”

      This is not propaganda, though. This is just people making money selling dumb music to undereducated people.

      “There are those who were part of this scam and said NO, and are putting the masses on to game.”

      Who?

      • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

        “This is just people making money selling dumb music to undereducated people.”

        ^ The Reich had musicians & actors on the payroll, just like we did (John Wayne the cowboy turned soldier once war came to build patriotism and condition the movie goer/next enlisted). Yet what you are saying is true too.

        “Who?”

        ^ Ventura should come to mind on that list of people. There are quite a few distinguished professionals out there.

  • the G.O.D.

    Peace

    *LMAO*That was the funniest shit I’ve read on this site.

    Peace

  • the G.O.D.

    Peace
    forgot to insert EVER

    Peace

  • what

    Last thing:

    “A Rawse endorsement would obviously alleviate all of those concerns. Even the taste issue.”

    Shit, it worked for Ciroc, which tastes like a Thai prostitute’s unwashed taint.

    BTW, a good alternative is Monopolowa, which should only run about $15, but it tastes as good as Goose. It’s definitely better than Belvedere, which is basically repackaged Monarch.

    Look for a white bottle with blue block lettering, or ask for it by name, if you can remember it, which you won’t.

  • Cheeba Baby

    Rawse should have his own line of crab meats. HYSTERICAL!!!

  • gaddic

    Dope dope post
    BOL!
    “Diddy, meanwhile, can’t even get a release date for his album, despite the fact he’s ostensibly the boss of his own label”-crazy line!
    puff is probably the most non-talented music millionaire

  • Iz

    $yk-man you are stupid, shut up fool!

  • Iz

    $yk-man you are stupid, shut up fool!!!!

  • Stephen

    Rawse prolly just felt it should go that way, Diddy will take care of him :D

    P. Diddy indeed have a perfect role in ‘Get Him to the Greek’ movie being a recording company executive – just thought he’s only a rapper/singer/artist

    his co-stars says he is funny too, this gives me much interest on watching the movie