Top 10 Pausable Rap Names – What Were You Thinking?

Heyo, it’s Kool A.D. (slave name Victor Vazquez), from the weirdo hipster bullshit rap band Das Racist, back again with another blog entry to fill the content quota to satisfy the corporations who buy ad space on this website.

Being originally from the West Coast, I find “pause” hella funny because nobody really says it out there. Maybe it’s all the ecstasy and rich history of social activism and good cheap weed that has folks on a generally more positive, less homophobic tip out there. Or maybe it’s… no, yeah it’s probably just that.

Anyway, “pause” is hella funny to me because usually the shit that goes out of its way to sound masculine is the shit that sounds the most wild homo—like when Jada said, “First two words I ever learned: cock and squeeze” or when DMX said that a group of men reminded him of a strip club because every time he came around he just had to get his dicked sucked.

Yeah, it’s in that vein that I present this list of the 10 funniest unintentionally gay-sounding rap names:

10. JADAKISS


9. LORD FINESSE

8. KURTIS BLOW

7. STICKY FINGAZ

6. STIC.MAN

5. SILKK THE SHOCKER

4. BONE CRUSHER

3. KURIOUS

2. 69 BOYZ

1. FABOLOUS

  • SPURSGUY

    What about Mr Cheeks? That name is suspect as hell!

  • tronthadon

    yall fuckin crazy..lmmao

  • L’z

    HAHAHAHA wheres puff daddy at?

  • http://xxlmag.com ozzy b

    the 69 boys is funny.

    they may as well be called the rim jobs

    • arkansas

      lol ozzy b funnnnyyyy lol lmao

  • Jeremiah Johnson

    Das Racist is some gay shit. .

  • http://j-mace.deviantart.com Shawty J

    Weak, one of the staff writers already did this.

  • Sarkastixxx

    You faggots are GAY for thinking of the this ish. None of those names sound gay.
    The DMX line is very questionable, I will give you that. Other than that… you B.A.N just wasting time with this column. Peace…….

    • Arkansas

      Sarkastixxx Mr Cheeks though. come one man that way out!!!

  • Mr.I Rap Better Than You

    Why is Fabolous number one whats wrong with that..

  • P. Harris

    I was a fan of dude back in high school…

    but?

    Sir Menelik

  • fredMS

    other rap names that aren’t overtly gay but are still pretty gay
    - P.O.R.N.
    - Rhymefest (like a sausagefest of rhymes?)

  • ColombianConnection

    WTF?!

    Fabolous’ name is not considered as a “pause”

  • Lowedwn

    what about Jizzal Man from Dem Franchize Boyz…that one always struck me as hella questionable

  • Anonymous

    What about the Beatnuts…LMAO

    • Yaw

      LOL!

  • El Tico Loco

    I’m gonna give ya’ll points for killin that Nutmeg beat (guess I gotta pause there too), but man this has been wack.

  • latino heat

    i’m glad somebody agrees Jadakiss is a gay ass name. and the couple times i heard him try to explain his name he had no good answer for it. no one is saying he isn’t one of the best lyrically but, come on that name is HOMO. and the fact that everybody calls him either Jada or Kiss for short makes it that much worse.

    “Jadakiss or Jada Smith, either way i think of a bitch.” – Beanie Siegal

    your wrong for those pics of Kurtis Blow and Boncrusher though. lmao!

    who the hell is Kurious?

    • King B

      Uh no the line goes….J-A-D-A thinking of kiss no matter how you spell it I still think of a bitch

  • Anonymous

    Lmao @ Beatnuts

  • holycow

    This shit had me in near laughing hysterics at work. How can you motherfuckers not understand “Fabulous” or “Bonecrusher” as the pausiest of pauseable things?!

    YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING. KEEP IT UP.

  • HU

    69 Boyz are the shit and need to come back. Let me see that tootsee roll!! Hell yeah! The Wait is Over was a bangin cd.

  • http://beatreport.ning.com andreas

    What about Hot Boyz!

  • b-dogg

    Ya’ll retarded as hell for that picture of Bonecrusher…. what ever happend to him?? lmfao

  • AVENGER XL

    HU COMIN SON! Dance artist have a shelf life that make fruit flies say damn they die quick. Nobody wants to see no 40 something dudes talking about tootsie roll to young girls unless they are working for the vatican on the low.

    Das Racist how did you become a blogger on here? Your posts are weaker than most of the clowns they fired and your comedy leaves a lot to be desired. The whole rapper with gay names thing has been done to death.

  • El Tico Loco

    No disrespect but Trugoy the Dove always seem kinda out there too. Plug one and Two but we kinda gave that the Luther Vandross treatment. Oh yeah Ecstacy.

  • Anonymous

    look at the pic of kurtis blow. that niggas gotta be gay lol

  • http://XXLMAG.COM INTERNET BULLY

    GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE… DAS RACIST THIS IS THE LAMEST THING I HAVE EVER READ ON THIS SITE EVER(SINCE THAT OTHER PUNK BLOGGER THAT DONT WRITE FOR XXL ANYMORE WITH THE RECEDING HAIR LINE LEFT)… STEP YA BLOG SKILLZ UP SON SON.. Y’ALL CAN GO TO THE SOURCE WITH THIS FAGGOTRY BULLSHIT…

  • http://www.emcdl.com EmCDL

    LOL at this whole damn post! That Bone Crusher pic got me weak!

    I think any rapper with ‘Lil’ in their rap name is questionable by the way. That, and that dude Yukmouth.

  • Lord Maximus

    Dude, idk what the DMX line is about because if you think about it it makes no sense but Vanilla Ice is kinda gay sounding regardless of who he is

  • The Mighty Spade

    WHY THE FU&K ISN’T WAKA FLOCKA FLAME UP THERE?!?!?!?! WTF IS A WAKA FLOCKA FLAME YO?!?!?!?! OR BITCH BITCH, OR TRICK TRICK? How bout CRUNCHY BLACK?

  • yupyup

    Puff Daddy

  • Kenny D

    Why is Fabolous a pausible name? Think about it, what do girls and gay faggots say when shit all good? Fabulous!!!! But I voted 69 boyz. Can’t hate on Fabo.

    • Champ

      ^^^^^^^^thank you.

  • http://thablackyoutube.com thablackyoutube

    HILARIOUS!!!

  • Anonymous

    probably the name requiring a no homo the most is das racist

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  • http://www.squeegiesounds.com brookah

    yall picked the wrong dmx lyric. what about “i’m about to show n*ggas/how easily we blow n*ggas”

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  • UnguardedG

    SHUT DA FUCK UP. DATS HOW I CAN TELL YOU WHITE. YOU JUST HATEIN CAUSE DEY GET MO MONEY AND PUSSY THAN YOU BITCH. AND D.M.X. MEAN EVERYBODY ON HIS DICK BUT DATS SOMETHIN U DONT KMOW ABOUT CAUSE U DONT GET HOES OR HATERS.