Is he trying to sound like Rawse?

For all we know, the reason Shyne’s new music sucks balls could be because he’s trying to sound like Rick Ross rather than Biggie Smalls, because Biggie’s been dead for such a long time now, because it’s easier to sound like Rawse than to sound like Biggie Smalls, and because Rawse is the man these days, for what it’s worth. He managed to survive a beef with an admittedly weakened 50 Cent; his street cred is at an all time high, from siccing his weed carriers on DJ Vlad, and that guy from Don Diva; and he’s got a new album coming out that sounds like it might be an even further descent into self-parody. I can’t wait to have a listen and see how the number of references to crab meats compares to Deeper Than Rap.

That might even be why Diddy is now managing Rawse, as well as Nicki Minaj. (I’m pretty sure I read that somewhere.) He might be hoping that the sight of a 40+ Diddy kicking whatever dance moves he can muster at this point, while Rawse just kinda stands there and breathes heavily, in videos for songs from the new Rawse album + the new Diddy album, if he can talk the TIs into giving him a release date, even though he’s ostensibly still the boss of his own label, will conjure thoughts of the halcyon days of Biggie and Puff in the minds of people who realize that hip-hop peaked circa ’95 and has been in decline ever since, not unlike how Drake cast girls who kinda look like Amber Rose and Beyonce in his new video, to make himself seem that much more like Jay and Kanye.

This shit is getting deep. The TIs must be working with shrinks, to try to counter the effects of the recession + Internets file sharing. I knew I felt compelled to eat crab meats every time I listened to Deeper Than Rap last summer, but I thought that was because I was a sorry fat-ass. If I had a dollar for every time I made a run for the border, i.e. Taco Bell, after seeing a commercial for their latest variation on the same three or four ingredients, I’d have more money than I’m willing to admit to on the Internets. It crosses the line between amusing and damn, that’s just sad and just keeps going.

But I digress.

As long as Shyne is gonna be so insincere about the reason for his current state of artistic failure, he might as well see if he can’t dust off his old Biggie impression. He’s been claiming that he associates his late ’90s/early ’00s role as Diddy’s attempt to swagger jack Biggie’s corpse with a time in his life in which he made a lot of bad decisions, which ultimately led him to spend upwards of a third of his life at this point in the pokey (no one’s gonna argue with that), and this new rhyme style, which Ivan Rott describes as like Rawse after having been shot with a tranquilizer dart, for having been mistaken for a rhinoceros, is meant to signal the end of that chapter in his life. But obviously he hasn’t really turned over a new leaf, if he’s making songs in which he threatens to shoot 50 Cent. What kind of dumbass spends 10 years in the joint for shooting up the club, then starts making songs in which he threatens to shoot people? No wonder they didn’t let his dumb ass back into the US.

The TIs had Shyne make a few phone calls to people they knew would be especially receptive to any message from Shyne, even if it was a sales pitch for Dianetics. They had him call Elliott Wilson, who spent enough time in semi-real journalism to realize what was going on. He didn’t answer his phone (it sounds like he really did play phone tag with Shyne), but then he let loose with this op-ed – the only op-ed evar on the otherwise devoid of added value RapRadar – in which he lamented the fact that so many people are giving Shyne shit just because he doesn’t have anything worthwhile to offer hip-hop at this point. What about that 10 years he spent in the joint, for shooting a woman in the face? We should feel like we owe him for that, right? Wilson probably didn’t realize that the TIs would then have Shyne call eskay, who didn’t have the sense to let the call go to voicemail. eskay fell for the PR fuckery hook line and sinker, thus making Elliott Wilson look that much more like a shill, regardless of whether he spoke to Shyne; he still copped a plea on Shyne’s behalf.

The TIs know better than to have Shyne call me. But if they didn’t, and Shyne told me that same BS he told eskay about how his shitty new rapping has to do with him being a better person than he was back when he shot up the club for no apparent reason, I’d explain to him my theory that it has more to do with him trying to sound like Rawse, then I’d ask him if he’s still capable of rapping like a fake Biggie Smalls, which I think would be a better look for him than what he’s been doing. (What wouldn’t?) Not that I’m interested in hearing him rape Biggie’s corpse any more than he already has. I’m just saying.

  • Josh

    Rawse & Minaj = The New Biggie and Kim.

    YIKES

  • epinz

    yea, his excuse is the worst reasoning behind such a drastic change ive ever heared….he was a “gangsta” back then but now wants to get away from it but yet hes threatinin to shoot people, hes a blood now, sounds like hes biting a fuckin fake ass wanna b drug dealer instead of a true legend, and refuses to go at the one person no one would b mad at if he went after and instead chooses to go at fif cuz def jam feels that mayyybeee he can get the same kinda results ross did. the diffrence is ross makes good/great music which is the only reason most homos reject all the facts stacked against him which completely condradict his subject matter. shynes new shit is horrible and its a damn shame he couldnt capitalize off the buzz he had coming out of jail.

  • jaystone

    shyne sucks and was never good anyway so i dont understand why u guys are shocked

  • rowzzz

    lmao you fucked over eskay in this one bol

  • Beezy

    Shyne is the man. Bol just wrote this to hate on nahright as usual. Did eskay take that chick at the office from you when he worked there bollocks?

    • BeezyIsBi

      Whatever he took, he sure didn’t take lessons from Bol on how to write a decent fucking column. He should have.

  • Wise Cracker

    I read somewhere that Bad Boy (as a staff, record label, and a motherfucking crew) was no longer. Can someone please elaborate on this?
    I also remember reading Diddy signed to Interscope as an artist.

  • Grimey G

    It should be stipulated, Rawse’s “street cred is at an all time high” FOR HIM. He’s just gangster enough to get some hooligans on his payroll to jump somebody. That doesn’t exactly make him Marlo Stanfield (My name is my name!). At the end of the day he still has less street cred than basically every other “gangster” rapper.

  • $o$a

    I agree with epinz, Shyne fucking up right now with the songs he putting out. Even though I appreciate the fact he has the cajones to call out the big bad wolf. But its not a good look, before he went in he was aiiight. But sitting still that long and knowing puff played his ass as a big soundalike he wanna do something diff. Not good,new 50 wont even respond like he used to. But Bank$ got a little buzz at the moment. 50 should sic em on Shyne and put him out his misery. I used to think he was halfway decent but hes ruining his own legacy. Reid is done, maybe Shyne is doing this shit on purpose? Nah

  • Port Lyfe

    I actually said this when i first heard him on the dj khaled song he sound like Ross

  • fastflipper

    Bol is the man

    Ross is fake

    and shyne is a ex konvict and a no skillz rapper

  • Lunatikstwocents

    Guerilla Black does a better Biggie Impersonation

  • valdez

    if anything, he shoulda aired puffy out as soon as he touched down. SMH!

    • JustWant2Comment

      Now that would have been his best bet. Somebody float that idea over to his label.

  • Teddy

    Shyne KILL YO SELF

  • RudNare

    “He might be hoping that the sight of a 40+ Diddy kicking whatever dance moves he can muster at this point, while Rawse just kinda stands there and breathes heavily…”

    HaHaHaHaHa…*stomach-cramping* Iyuu… :)

  • LightSkinMofo

    MAN… I BOUGHT SHYNE’S FIRST CD. SECOND? NOPE. SOON TO BE THIRD? AT THIS RATE? HELL MUTHAFUCKIN NAW!

    ONE!

  • caino

    ‘If I had a dollar for every time I made a run for the border, i.e. Taco Bell, after seeing a commercial for their latest variation on the same three or four ingredients, I’d have more money than I’m willing to admit to on the Internets.’

    oh snap!

  • Really?

    the problem with shyne is he never practised his Micheal Jackson impersonation enough. He could have capitalized on another talented dead black(ish) man. then he could call himself ‘the greatest aper alive.’

  • Knowledgeable Niqqa

    All yall fools and have no knowledge on rap, Ross sounds like Po….go and listen to all shynes stuff, even Jay-z told shyne that Ross took his voice and Ross loved shyne back in the day GD fools