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Great Moments in White Rap History – Well, Not That Great

Hi, it’s Kool A.D., (slave name Victor Vazquez) from the weirdo hipster bullshit rap group Das Racist, back again with yet another blog entry for you to look at instead of doing real work at your job.

We’ve all heard a lot about The M&M and The Vanilla Ice rapper, but what about those unsung heroes that have paved the way for the rich, sprawling tapestry that is contemporary Caucasian hip-hop? Below are five classic moments in White rap history, as documented by YouTube…


This is seriously one of the most insane YouTube videos I’ve ever seen. At some sort of White House dinner or event or whatever type of Illuminati gathering they get up to in that nest of evil, this White devil man raps about George W. Bush’s senior advisor, Karl Rove, saying, “That’s right, he can’t be beat/Because he’s so White from his head to his feet,” while Karl Rove tries to dance like a Black person and say his name the way he imagines a Black person would (which apparently is like some sort of bear-gremlin). It’s funny to imagine some White House public relations dude having to track down the one Black guy at the event and have him present on stage so that the whole thing would “look less racist.”


I have no idea how or why this video got made but it has some of the ILLEST PUNCH LINES AND METAPHORS I HAVE EVER HEARD.


In 1994, a Wall Street millionaire dropped three thousand dollars on recording and promoting a rap album under the (AMAZING) rap name “The Renegade Jew.” The song never fails to make me shake my head with my mouth wide open (pause) with lines such as: “My family is paid/But not off the slave trade;” “Just like the Holocaust gets me in the shower,” (???), and this zen koan of a line, “Blacks and Jews have always been hated/If we didn’t exist we would be created.”


I really like this dude’s ad-libs about how “hip-hop is hard, you need to articulate” and that rappers shouldn’t be “just fuckin’ around, you know, tap, tap shit.” And his ponytail is ON ANOTHER LEVEL. HE IS REALLY OPENING UP MY EARS.


I actually have no words for this.

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