I'm halfway tempted to concede that the generation of kids growing up today are gullier than the generation of kids that grew up in the '90s, on the grounds that kids in Chicago somehow managed to shoot 40 people in 50 hours this weekend.

That's damn near one shooting per hour - and that's not even counting whatever time these kids spent sleeping, if they sleep at all. (I'm no good without eight hours a day, plus another 10 at night.) Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ!

Don't get me wrong - kids these days are still tight pants-wearing fags. But I wouldn't want to test one of them, to teach them a less, if only because I wouldn't want to be anywhere near them. I could fuck around and get shot! When I was a kid, the idea was to fuck someone up to prove that you were a badass. These days the idea seems to be to fuck something up for the sake of fucking something up.

You can tell that the goal is mayhem for mayhem's sake, because of those 40 people who got shot, only four of them were killed. I'm sure part of it's that kids these days, like kids back in the day, are awful shots. But you have to think that, if these were legitimate beefs, the kill rate, for lack of a better term, would have been higher than 10%. It used to be, if you heard that four people got killed in a weekend, that meant about six people got shot that weekend.

You can see in the news report on World Star where they're obviously just fucking with people: a shooting takes place,  a shedload of police + TV news and what have you show up, and people start shooting at the crowd - probably not for the purpose of killing people, since how hard would it be to hit someone in such a big crowd?

The fascinating thing to me is the complete lack of concern for police presence. It used to be, you shot someone and got the fuck out of dodge, before 5-0 showed up. Which usually wasn't that difficult, since 5-0 tends to be anywhere other than where a crime might take place. (The better to write bullshit tickets.) But obviously these kids aren't concerned with getting caught, if they're shooting at groups of 30+ cops while they're trying to investigate a crime scene.

They probably figure, if 40+ people are getting shot in a weekend, the chances of you getting caught drop down to damn near zero. It was easy enough to get away with killing black people back when there were only six shootings during the course of a weekend. It even says in the video on World Star that 5-0 has six promising leads. Which doesn't strike me as promising in the least bit, given the overall number of people who got shot.

It's a concept not unlike these so-called flash mobs of dreaded n-words that descend upon areas usually populated by people who work for a living, beat the crap out of people and break shit. If it was just one or two fruits in tight jeans, you could easily slap the shit out of them and be done with it. When there's like 15 of them, the most you can do is cross to the other side of the street and hope they don't follow you.

But it was one thing, back when all they were doing was making it that much more difficult for a brother such as myself to cop a burrito. If they're gonna be out here clowning like this, the government is gonna have to crack down, and they're gonna have to crack down hard. Back in the day, that meant throwing epic numbers of black people in jail. Who knows what it might mean these days. FEMA camps? This is not the 1990s. White people are already pissed off about universal health care.

More From XXL