That song “Every Girl” was a true story

The other day, a hoo-er named Kat Stacks put out a video in which she claimed to have banged a number of b- and c-list rappers, including the entire roster of Young Money, sans Drake and Lil Wayne. You can tell a lot of what she said was true, because the rappers she claims to have banged seem like the kind of people who would bang a hoo-er like Kat Stacks.

This is not 2001, or whatever year the late, great kris ex discovered Karrine “Superhead” Steffans. A lot of these rappers and athletes are starting to wise up to the fact that you can’t just bang any ol’ hoo-er and not expect people to find out about it. Jamie Foxx once almost accidentally banged Superhead, but then he realized who she was, and was like, fuck that shit! Why do you think Superhead is out here writing books about how to properly handle a man’s balls, instead of sequels to the original Confessions of a Video Vixen, or whatever it was called, in which she swallows all of the loads in the first book? It’s because rappers have finally caught on to her ruse. These days, the only time you hear about a rapper banging Superhead is when a rapper wants you to think he had sex with a woman – like that time when Lil Bow Wow supposedly got Superhead pregnant.

I’ve heard that the only fool proof way that a man of a certain means can prevent his business from getting out in the street is to get with high priced hoo-ers, like that broad Eliot Spitzer was banging, who supposedly has the best-looking vagina of any woman evar. Yeah, Eliot Spitzer ended up being replaced as Governor of New York by a blind black person, but it wasn’t because any of his hoo-ers snitched on him. I heard it was because he was gonna try to go after those banks that fucked up the economy and then got huge bailouts, I guess as a reward. The TIs know any and every politician who ever dropped a load on a call girl’s chin, but they only pull your file if they think there’s a risk of you serving the will of the people. They may have even gone after Eliot Spitzer as a warning to anyone who was thinking about challenging the bailouts  – which would help explain why that process went so smoothly, while it’s been so difficult to get half-assed universal health care.

But I digress.

I heard the NBA even has a program where they take young recruits, many of whom probably aren’t very strong readers, and explain to them how to deal with these hoes. I’m not sure what exactly they tell them, but obviously the idea is to prevent these situations like you used to hear about in the ’90s, when some of these clowns would have kids in pretty much every city with an NBA team. Or the situation Michael Jordan found himself in; I heard the woman he was married to was a well-known jumpoff, throughout the NBA, but Michael Jordan didn’t know any better, because he grew up in the sticks. Fast forward 10 or 15 years later, Jordan was out hundreds of millions of dollars. Not that it matters, when you’ve got the kind of money Michael Jordan has. He’s out here upgrading without a care in the world, like he should have been in the first place. But of course not all basketball players are as fortunate as Michael Jordan. I’ve heard some of these guys who only made $100 million somehow managed to lose literally all of it.

Speaking of epic losers, if you’re one of these guys on Young Money whose name isn’t Drake or Lil Wayne, I’m not sure what difference it makes which hoo-er you banged, or who found out about it. If I were, say, Gudda Gudda, I’d be less concerned with people knowing I banged Kat Stacks than with (a) people thinking I actually paid money for the privilege, and (b) the fact that she looks like she might be a guy. You can see how (a) and (b) tend to coincide. I wouldn’t want people thinking I banged a girl who looks like a guy, period, but I certainly wouldn’t want people thinking I had to pay money to bang a girl who looks like a guy. Kat Stacks was supposedly paid $1,200 to bang all of Young Money, except for the ones anyone ever heard of. Even if there were 10 people in Young Money, that would still be too much money. I’m pretty sure I could pay a much more feminine woman to bang an entire bachelor’s party worth of guys for less than $1,200. Not that I have any idea what a typical price per throw would be for an extremely low class hoo-er. I’m just assuming.

If I had to guess, I’d say the b-squad from Young Money did run a train on Kat Stacks, but they didn’t pay for it. She offered herself to them, free of charge, and they went for it, probably because they thought she saw them in that “I Wish I Could Fuck Every Girl in the World” video. You know how these weed carriers tend to harbor delusions of grandeur.

She probably wouldn’t have done it, except that she thought she could use it to make a name for herself as a sort of low expectations Superhead. But she had to claim she charged money for it, despite her looks, because she couldn’t have people thinking she let an entire rap group run a train on her just so she could have something to write about. The Superhead move only works if people think you somehow got forced into your hoo-erish behavior, due to upbringing, and then you decided to write about it, to empower yourself. Plus, you know how women are about group sex. 9 times out of 10, when you hear about gang rape, it’s really a consensual train that a passerby happened to notice. Or started to chafe 3/4ths of the way through.

Young Money probably wouldn’t have bothered, except that Lil Wayne is in the joint, and Drake probably doesn’t come around when Lil Wayne is not around. They aren’t catching that pussy shrapnel like they did back when they were on tour. They may not have been in a position to turn down Kat Stacks, but you can tell they didn’t pay for it, because they supposedly all live in an apartment together, and why would they throw away money like that, if they can’t even afford separate units? That’s the one aspect of her story she obviously didn’t think through.

  • jimmy price

    I think that NBA program you are referring to is just for the Knicks. Spike Lee hires the guy who played Big Time Willy to pick the recruit up in his ’98 SLK and explain that pussy is really spelled HIV.

  • http://blackcaesarworld.blogspot.com blackcaesar

    Yeah, first I would like to second that Bol. These niggas need more people and they are cookie cutter and just not good at making songs. But, gotta respect the hustle….Of LIL Wayne and Drake. Second, rap niggas stop payin for pussy its all types of bad bitches out here fuckin’ for free and they got 24 hour turnaround aids test so what the hell just do the right thing and manly tranny hoes don’t give out ur number…. And who the fuck wants to fuck every girl in the world anyways…. That means u want syphillis, gonnorhea, aids,herpes, not to mention chlymidia, and whatever new shit the gov’t is thinkin up to kill yo ass! READ A GOT DAMN SCIENCE BOOK!!!!

    REad my shit blackcae$arworld.blogspot.com

    Interview with Wendy Day, blogs, and black history follow me on twitter @caesarthemind or @thediamondpack

  • hate

    wow.
    speechless after that post.
    you write about hoo-er’s better than anyone in the business

  • sealsaa

    “The Superhead move only works if people think you somehow got forced into your hoo-erish behavior, due to upbringing, and then you decided to write about it, to empower yourself.”

    LOL, I remember when she appeared on that radio show last year to promote her “how to” book, and got into it with the host because he had the balls to ask her what credentials she had(besides being a whore) to give relationship instruction/advice.

    • Anonymous

      I remember that shit was hilarious, but the best was when she tried to retire the “Superhead” moniker as though she had transcended the boundaries of being common street trash into a full fledged writer while promoting her book on “how to handle a man’s balls.”

  • http://misterrickysays.blogspot.com/ Mister Ricky

    pussy shrapnel … Dies!

  • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

    1200 to smash all of them, including Weezy? Or she touched up all of them 1st, and then got to get next to Weezy, and he went BEHIND all of them, AND PAID 1200 for it. She goes to their apartment 1st? Then Wayne’s crib?

    The weed carriers win this one (train the groupie), but I guess those stories about the tour bus are somewhat validated. They relish in hoodrat youngin’s.

  • raazi36

    these bitches be thinking they pussys are ATM’s …the fuck ?

  • Sincere

    “Even if there were 10 people in Young Money, that would still be too much money. I’m pretty sure I could pay a much more feminine woman to bang an entire bachelor’s party worth of guys for less than $1,200. Not that I have any idea what a typical price per throw would be for an extremely low class hoo-er. I’m just assuming.”

    LMFAO

  • Will E. Will

    hahah funny shit. These fuckin hoo-ers nowadays I tell ya SMH. Can you believe that sex was supposed to be between two people in love? lol we done turned it into a fuckin sport lmaoo

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    MY NIGGA SURG!!

    Check it out fa real, comment, give him some honest criticism, but I bet you that real hip heads wont be disappointed. God Bless

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  • ChinCheka

    She probably wouldn’t have done it, except that she thought she could use it to make a name for herself as a sort of low expectations Superhead.

    Thats Cold

    But if you didnt know Gudda Gudda did get started with Lil Flip so I am guessing No Money is a step up for him

  • El Tico Loco

    That’s just plain sad, as a parent I gotta say that’s more embarrasing than a young pregnant daughter. She sound like expected props for that.

  • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

    Word Tico, I didn’t want to go there.

    OTS,

    http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/queens
    /rikers_inmates_attack_pbYS9MW6DewHe0BNzw3efO

    ^ Is that you Wayne?

    • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

      lol! u funny $yk!

      you KNOW that aint hardly that bitch ass nigga…

      • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

        ^ lolz

  • Jay Oh

    i’m mad that Bol said that the NBA dudes weren’t strong readers. LOLOLOL

    they aren’t!

  • Worley

    “I heard the NBA even has a program where they take young recruits, many of whom probably aren’t very strong readers, and explain to them how to deal with these hoes.”

    And today’s lesson is stay away from Kelis. Nas pays 50K a month. Now she has her hooks into an overgrown fool in the NFL. Stick to the low rent types like Tahiry or you could be next.

  • Lowedwn

    man I was waiting on this drop.

    “I’m not sure what exactly they tell them, but obviously the idea is to prevent these situations like you used to hear about in the ’90s, when some of these clowns would have kids in pretty much every city with an NBA team.”

    word to Shawn Kemp, Sedale Threatt, Dennis Scott, Rod Strickland, Cedric Ceballos Charles Oakley…and well the enitire Knicks, Magic & Lakers rosters of the early ’90s.

    I wanna know what the point of her stupid video was. She tried to talk all this crap and diss them. But they still smashed so who won? You allegedly got $1200(and not from them) and their whole crew got to smash in the their crib they all share? YMFTW. Never thought I’d type that. and co-sign El Tico

  • BIGNAT

    “I’m pretty sure I could pay a much more feminine woman to bang an entire bachelor’s party worth of guys for less than $1,200. Not that I have any idea what a typical price per throw would be for an extremely low class hoo-er. I’m just assuming.”
    entire party worth of guys for less than 1,200 oh yeah you live in st louis mwhahahahah

  • nicholasdelorejo

    After carefully thinking this through, I must say that this bitch is stupid. Not because she tried to blast a bunch of rappers for having sex with her. But because she tried to do it on the very first group of bums that smashed her. I’m sure Supperhead at some point during her sex-capades wanted to quit blowing rappers and begin blasting rappers who fucked her. But she decided to continue gaining the trust of rappers as a quiet, passeable whore and eventually reached the level of trust where she could write about seeing Diddy and Usher leaving out of gay clubs, fucking Bobby Brown and seeing how Whitney had him in check on spending her money, and fucking a bunch of famous dudes(Ja Rule, Irv, Shaq, ect until infinity). She waited until she reached the top of the whore kingdom not after she fucked Kool G Rap.

    So I don’t see how bragging about banging a bunch of weed carriers in a group whose only known because their boss (who she didn’t even bang) adlibs their name on everyone of his song will eventually result career in exploiting whorish acts. She should’ve remained quiet at least until Young Money spread the word on her whore qualities so that she can be passed around enough to one day fuck more successful rappers who would’ve believed she could keep it a secret. Because if she’s willing to blast a bunch of no named rappers, who’s to say that she won’t blast or impregnate herself with a rapper who is worth a shit like Drake or Wayne.

  • sealsaa

    @Worley

    Sound advice, but Kelis just looks like a goddamn freak, and despite what he’s currently going through, I bet Nas doesn’t regret digging her out for a minute. She’s the definition of Fuckable.

  • audio tech

    “I bet Nas doesn’t regret digging her out for a minute”

    ^ everytime he see that kid he will

  • caino

    when did it become a carear move to become a hoo-er??

    Her daddy must be soo proud ! lol

  • P. Harris

    Bol, this shit was hilarious! lolz.

    As a jumpoff, hoo-er, whatever you want to call Kat Stacks. What was her point in telling the world? Like, from seeing her videho?? Maybe she was advertising her services or something? Like, now when she goes somewhere, muhfuts know that she gets down for money. But then your biz might in the street? Anyway, this chick, she’s no superhead, what is she bringing to the table? No stories about her slob game are out? and no video proof? So WTF? It’s plenty hoo-er’s to dig out for free…

    With that being said?

    GTFOH with “it ain’t tricking if you got it” That’s exactly WTF it is… *mumbles* pay pal pussy…. smh.

  • RudNare

    “…but you can tell they didn’t pay for it, because they supposedly all live in an apartment together, and why would they throw away money like that, if they can’t even afford separate units?”

    ‘HaHaHaHaHa…’ *just-developed-a-six-pack* ‘Haau, where the money @?!’ :)

  • Anonymous

    کيرخر تو کس مامانت

  • Rozell

    It’s part of the setup and these rappers are traped by these money hungry/diseased women. In fact the record labels brings these money hungry/diseased women to these rappers so they won’t have to pay them when they fall. The biggest tool of the devil is a woman………..think deep