Relationships and the Music Industry Don’t Mix

The workload of anyone in the industry is hectic. I’m always in the studio, which leaves very little time for an actual relationship. I can’t speak for everyone right now, but I’m at the point in my career where I’m focused 100-percent on music and don’t really have the time or energy to devote to a relationship.

It all starts with being honest with yourself and knowing what you can and can’t handle. I see a lot of people who slack businesswise or career wise due to the stress and strains that some relationships tend to bring. Personally, I simply don’t feel like dealing with a relationship. It’s crunch time for me and with so many women in the industry just trying to come up or become known because of who they’re dating, you really have to be careful who you choose to be seen with, date, associate with, etc.

If you do choose to put up with a relationship, it should at least be with someone who is worthy of your time and someone you see with future potential. Many people are in ongoing relationships and there are just as many that are on the single and mingle tip.

To each his or her own.

Our greatest joys and pains come through relationships. We gotta have ’em, but the fundamental glue that holds relationships together is trust. Finding someone you can trust is the trick. A lot of the relationships I’ve had have always struggled with lack of time. You can’t really go into a relationship not giving. The best way to handle it is by being honest.

A lot of women you like or may date, it’s all trial and error. When you’re focused on your success it’s hard to sift through that. The relationships (that I’ve seen) that last longer in this industry are with women who are understanding and strong. And men in the industry are exposed to so much. We have it harder because all of the stuff we’re accomplishing; you got so many women coming at you. I know for me, it will have to be some kind of spiritual and emotional attraction, in addition to sexually, all in one woman that will do it for me.

  • http://misterrickysays.blogspot.com/ Mister Ricky

    I’ve seen studio sessions go to hell because someone bought their girl there. co-sign

  • Sally Balls

    Co-sign that shit. I know it all too well….

    • htowns finest

      That’s true never mix business with pleasure

  • Dime Magnet

    I’d rather have a dope girl than ties to a dying industry. Everyone says the industry is shady and just out for a dollar. At least my girl will support me if I make it in the industry or not. The industry does not show that love back unless you got $$$. You can’t tell me otherwise cuz I know first hand.

    Fuck the Industry!!

  • Andre

    Wow. That is sooooooooooooo true

  • R.O.N.E

    Co-sign Dime Magnet so true

  • RAP T

    Its hard to sustain a relationship especially when one leads a life like mine. While trying to free the pigmies in New Guinea from the evil clutches of an imperialistic Australian nation, many of my attempts at a relationship have been futile. Also while training afro samurais in Nebraska to resolve their conflicts with dialogue instead of choppers I’ve seen many of my associates relationships falter. Hold up….I’m lying I didn’t have associates I did all that shit and much more by my damn self. Come down here in the fray and engage us Drumma I beg of you homie. If you don’t I’ma just keep on blogging in the comments section like everybody wants to read my shit. Now thats hip hop! CONFUSION!

    • Hanch

      BWahahahahaha! Hilarious I about spit my Mountain Dew on my screen bro! Funny thing is you sound just like that annoying asshole. LMFAO!!!!

  • Gift

    i’d have to say it really depends on how 100 your girl is. My chick already knows that my music is very important to me, and she often helps me with getting contacts. she volunteered for sxsw, and got me so much helpful info on various ways to market my music. we have issues from time to time, but not regarding the music. she loves and supports me, and she knows i’m on my grizzy. just a blessing, but if your chick ain’t 100, she’ll either fuck around on you out of spite, or she’ll always complain, and that’s when it’s time to send her ass packin.

  • these posts are racist

    Per usual, you touch on many issues generally and fail to dig deep.

    We live in a society that defines success as making a lot of money. We then fault men who chase wealth at the expense of decency and condemn women who compromise their honor and dignity (socially constructed concepts in themselves) for the pursuit of wealth. Indeed our first blog boasts the fact that you continue receiving pub checks for a non single track as evidence of your own “success”, yet you imply that it is the women who are shady and hence you cannot find your true down ass chick.

    If a woman is interested in you because of your material wealth, then in all likliehood, should another man come along with more wealth, she will be interested in him. As such, all are responsible.

    I believe the US in particular is going to face a relationship crisis. This is the age of instant gratification and communication, where people run from relationships at the slightest hint of trouble. People are encouraged to have sex with multiple partners and do what “makes them feel good” as opposed to sacrificing to make things work.

    The music you produce dear friend, is the soundtrack to the movie we are living in…where the script is written and these women you condemn are only sticking to the script. You want change? Live it.

    • valdez

      damn son, u rip drumma a new one on in every post, BUT i have to admit that u laways make valid points. this is the best yet!!

    • bullets

      wow theres like a tear in my eye!!!

  • RAP T

    Tell em’ TPAR! Tell em’ how you deserve a guest blog and not this wanna be accomplished producer. Tell ‘em how you died and rose again in 3 hours Got Dayum!Tell em’ how you manage to never be wrong on anything ever! Let em’ know that if he ever came down into the comments section how you would type the ever-lovin shit outta his ass! TPAR FTW! All hail TPAR…..changing the world one keystroke/mouseclick at a time….That’s what you wanted right?

    • these posts are racist

      Rap T,

      Thank you. Now i’d appreciate it if you scratched my left testicle as my right one is getting tired…

      I had two guest blogs playboy, try again. Now you “tell em!” how you commenting (condemning) a commenter (me) for commenting makes any logical sense.

      So, let me get this straight: a commenter commenting on another commenter’s comments is OK, but a commenter giving honest and real criticism to a blog, in the comments section is lame?

      • Will E. Will

        “a commenter commenting on another commenter’s comments”

        hahaha damn that’s a tongue twister if I ever heard one lmao. Keep at it TPAR they can’t see you!

    • Hanch

      Tpar what you dont get is that is exactly how you sound! Your the God ol Mighty and your never wrong on anything. I could tell you 2+2=4 and you would tell me why it does not equal 4 and how your answer is Hip Hop. GTFOH your a joke bro now go back to teaching the Afro Samurais in Nebraska how to resolve their issues with the wheat fields. LMAO

  • Rap T

    *weaves the counter windmill swing*
    I Win. Ha.

    • these posts are racist

      your right i’m sorry

      • Hulk Smash

        It’s all good TPAR, I see where you getting at homie, these dudes ain’t built for the world, so they hide behind computer screens and take potshots at the homies telling it like it is. Much respect fam! I don’t really see Drumma boy blogging days expanding beyond this week, regardless how people feel about his music, but real insight, the type of ish you speak of… that don’t come a dime a dozen. Only a handful of cats know and experienced real ish, and when B.S. blogs get posted, that are supposed to be thought provoking and insightful, fail miserably, all of a sudden your a hater for calling out why it fails??
        Keep doing you homie, hopefully XXS (ya’ll far from large)ballhuggers will recognize, if they’re interested in realism. Respect from 215!

        PS- “fake” Jews run the entertainment industry… some food for thought;)

        • these posts are racist

          Shout out to Philly fam, and good lookin’ on the comment.

          By the way, I didn’t write that apology to “Rap T”…cats jack my screen name from time to time.

        • Rap T

          All I was sayin’ is that just because you don’t see a particular blog entry as being “insightful” doesnt mean that someone else wont read it and relate to it somehow. I know everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion but sometimes one just has to take it for what it is. Ol buddy is a producer by trade so how can you hold him up to the same standards as a pulitzer prize author or some shit. I really think some of you guys are expecting too much to compensate for the fact that a lot of the regular bloggers have moved on to, hopefully, better endeavors. And it does seem like some of you have a personal vendetta against ol’ boy, even saying that his music is the soundtrack to the movie we are living in. I understand the attempted metaphor but I think its a bit too harsh.If you dont like the mans music dont listen to it, if it comes on the radio change the station, dont read his entries if all you gonna say is “Meh, I dont like it, I got a problem with that”After all its just his opinion. EMISSION!

  • http://misterrickysays.blogspot.com/ Mister Ricky

    I tell you what…that Snoop ad dropping down is irking tha shyt out of me. Get thee up Snoop! LOL

  • http://www.emcdl.com EmCDL

    IMHO, I rather not even think about getting serious with any chick, I rather focus purely on my music and school. Just like how women are always complaining about how there’s no good men around, there isn’t any good women out there either nowadays (well I wouldn’t say there isn’t ‘none’, but few and far between). Just don’t have time for these new age women in this day and age. I have chicks now that don’t even want to talk to me anymore because of how focused I am on my studies and my music….

  • shakirra

    From a woman’s point of view, it’s hard to stay with a man who’s on the road 65% of the year. I’m pretty sure it’s the same with men. There is always a trust factor involved; you’re constantly wondering if he/she is ‘fooling around’ with some groupie, you start to feel lonely, and temptations become hard to get rid of. There are also situations where you allow your man/woman to come with you, and then you start to get tired of seeing them everywhere you go. (To me, our generation gets tired of relationships to quickly & are ready to bail at the first sign of trouble)
    Anyway, it all depends on your (and your mate’s) mentality.

  • Justice4All

    Right Mister Rickey, would you bring your girl/wife to work. No. The music biz is work, str8t up, it’s a grind and you have to be 200% focused or you will lose your vision, however, I do think there is a balance where if you find the right woman (like I have), she will fully understand the grind and actually help you and push you to stay focused. If you can find a great teammate, then the both of you can win the championship.

  • John Cochran

    Is Drumma Boy like 18 or something? Really immature view. Having love and happiness in your life is success, I dont care how many records you sell. When the lights go off you’ll be alone. My family is my success, thats better than any of this guy’s beats.

    • Hanch

      Good Post Bro,

      Now Tpar you see how its done. John’s post is way better than that shit up there your saying! No self righteous bullshit and he is not telling everybody that what he said is hip hop just because he has a different point of view than Drumma Boy! Again, good job bro.

      • these posts are racist

        Hanch,

        Your cyber crush is going a little too far. Everybody: Hance wants attention…there i gave it to him.

        Please note, you comment more about me than you do anything else…while I’m flattered you have a cyber crush, i have to ask you to leave me alone now. It’s getting weird.

        Thanks.

  • bullets

    It’s just a matter of what type of person you are people who just do anything for a dollar will make any song with any one and say lets do lunch all the time then you have artists who just enjoy making music but have common sense enough to know how to profit from there work without mingling with the vultures it’s obvious the industry is fucked up you dont got to make music to see that

  • http://rockcandydiva.wordpress.com Jaz

    I know so many women who fuck with dudes in the industry only to get screwed in the end. Me…I personally am always surrounded by indie hip hop dudes and they scare the ish out of me. I would never entertain the idea of a relationship with one of them which makes it hard for me to be in that scene even though that scene is unavoidable for me. Women DO throw themselves at these dudes and if I ever ended up in a relationship with one (on the off chance that “love takes over”) I would have to pray every night that he was strong willed and bout me bout me. It ain’t easy. I definitely feel this post.

  • http://reverbnation.com/supremeshaw Supreme

    I can totally understand where you’re coming from, Drumma. Crunch time is every day for me. And a struggling relationship is like an anvil on my brain. I can’t think freely enough to be able to write good music, sing well, or anything. I pray that it gets easier over time. How do you just let a relationship go if you’re in love with someone? I mean, its like a slow bullet! And honestly, as an R&B artist, Love (the real kind) is what inspires me to come up with the concepts i have. there’s nothing like authentic music that comes from real life experience. I guess that’s the conundrum that we as musicians face. Something always must be sacrificed.