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Everyone hates Waka Flocka

Finally, the entire hip-hop community has found something it can agree on: no not paying tribute to Biggie Smalls via Twitter, as if he was the BET Awards, I’m talking about hating Waka Flocka.

I’d have to check with Noz, who isn’t speaking to me right now (no homo), but it seems like the only one who has anything good to say about Waka Flocka these days is Method Man – and you know that’s probably just because his handlers told him that dissing Waka Flocka might fuck up sales of that Wu Massacre album in the South, which could be a strong market for them.

The other day, I was watching a video by this guy Yela Wolf on YouTube, to make sure it conformed to my expectations, and it looks like he might be a Wu-Tang stan. He had on Wu-Tang t-shirt, and I saw where he had another song, featuring Raekwon. Granted, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that a white guy in his 20s who looks like he might be on drugs would be into the Wu. Plus, you never can tell with these marginally talented regional rappers who all of a sudden become suspiciously ubiquitous. This could just be DJ Skee toying with my emotions. [||] I know Noz has had his suspicions as to whether or not Freddie Gibbs really listens to UGK. Or was it people who listen to Freddie Gibbs? At any rate…

Waka Flocka himself said that he grew up listening to Wu-Tang, it’s just that he realizes that you can’t make any money, if people think you have lyrics. He might be smarter than he looks. OJ da Juice Man has been on the cover of XXL twice in the past year, and I only know the name of one of his songs. Meanwhile, when’s the last time Method Man was on the cover of XXL? I rest on your face.

I’m surprised XXL didn’t include Waka Flocka as part of this year’s Freshman 10, rather than OJ da Juice Man. Or in addition to OJ da Juice Man, since obviously they don’t have that much of a problem repeating themselves. The two of them seem interchangeable, at least as far as whether or not anyone with the sense god gave geese would want to listen to their music, and choosing Waka Flocka would have spared them having to deal with people pointing out that OJ da Juice Man had already been on the cover one more time than he should have been.

The first time he was on the cover was when they did that special Atlanta issue, going on a year ago. It was him, Gucci Mane, Soulja Boy, and Shawty Lo. It’s a testament to how shallow the talent pool is down there in the A that both Gucci Mane and his weed carrier made that cover. They probably should have just taken a chance on Soulja Boy by himself, especially since they gave Gucci Mane a cover to himself less than a year later. Who cares if Shawty Lo ever made the cover? I haven’t heard so much as a peep from him in ages. I don’t want to speculate on what might be wrong with him, because I’m already down one post on the week, and this is only Tuesday, but suffice it to say his skin looks weird. Nullus.

Selecting OJ da Juice Man instead of Waka Flocka could actually be this year’s equivalent of passing on Drake in 2009, both in terms of shortsightedness and overall significance. Waka Flocka’s buzz seems to be a lot stronger than OJ da Juice Man’s, at this point. I couldn’t tell you what OJ da Juice Man has been up to for the past several weeks, other than smoking a shedload of weed and punctuating his sentences with “Aye!” Waka Flocka, meanwhile, has been all over the place, getting shot, getting beat up, getting into beef with Method Man, getting those kids shot in lovely Gary, IN, so on and so forth. I checked the Wiki, and it says “Make the Trap Say Aye!” came out way the fuck back in 2008. “O Let’s Do It” is currently ubiquitous.

Waka Flocka could fuck around and end up being even more successful than Gucci Mane. Which is to say kinda. That is, if Young Jeezy’s weed carriers don’t kill him first. Gucci Mane once famously shot and killed one of Young Jeezy’s weed carriers. Young Jeezy’s surviving weed carriers must being trying to exact revenge on Waka Flocka. I wonder if this is something Young Jeezy ordered, or if this is something they elected to do on their own, as part of the sacred bond between weed carriers.

Jeezy and Gucci Mane went on Sirius a while back and pretended as if they’d squashed their beef, but that may have just been to confuse the hip-hop police. And I’m not gonna lie – I was a little bit confused myself. It didn’t occur to me until after the fight this past weekend that that time he got shot probably had to do with the beef with Jeezy. I’d seen where Waka Flocka had gone on MTV and tried to front like he didn’t give a shit that he just got shot, twice, and robbed for a shedload of jewelry, then he tried to claim that it was a botched assassination attempt. I thought he was just trying to pretend to be a badass, but who knows? Maybe it was a botched assassination attempt. Who ever heard of robbing someone, shooting them twice, then leaving them there to point you out in a lineup? The dumbass kid who shot him probably just wasn’t a very good shot.

To think, the same lack of dedication to a craft that Waka Flocka espouses may have actually saved his life.

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