Two occasions

If you’re one of these bum-ass rappers who would do anything to get mentioned on some guy’s blog, let alone a deal with a major label, it must have chapped your ass to watch LA Reid fly to Belize to sign Shyne for $5 million – and not just because Shyne was dressed like a cross between Pee Wee Herman and Kung Lao from Mortal Kombat.

I remember reading, a few months back, that there was gonna be a big bidding war between the major labels (all 2-3 of them) as soon as Shyne was let go from the pokey.

Shyne of course was originally signed to Bad Boy, back when it was a real label and not just a rubber stamp that won’t even release Diddy’s own album. (Seriously, what kind of shit is that?) That deal must have come to an end once Diddy threw Shyne under a bus by hiring the late, great Stacin Goins to represent him in court, leaving Shyne to be represented by some public defender who didn’t even have the sense to tell him to take off that silly baseball cap. Just because Shyne shot up a club for no apparent reason, thus ruining Diddy’s relationship with Jennifer Lopez, who had a solid two to three years worth of backshots left in her at that point, which ended up going to Ben Affleck. That bastard.

While he was in the joint, Shyne signed a deal with Def Jam to put out that album that consisted of him spitting hot fire over the phone, as if he was Mumia Abu-Jamal doing political commentary for NPR (before racist white people put the kibosh on that), along with a few songs that probably weren’t good enough to be on that album he put out on Bad Boy. Either that deal was a one-off, or Def Jam decided to cut it short once he did Little Brother numbers, back before it was the industry standard.

You’d think these labels would have learned their lesson by now, but no. They probably figured they could at least make some – if not a shedload – of money just based on people’s morbid interest. Rappers’ popularity skyrockets when they get out of prison, even if they were only in the for like six months, for some shit you or I would have been in there for 10 years for, and even if they were kept away from the generation population, who almost certainly would have raped them, if not just to say they did it, then for “their own personal amusement.” I spent six months in a room by myself back before it was all trendy. Where’s my adoration from authentically black people?

Plus, he might say something bad about Diddy. You know Shyne, for all of his trying to look smart on TV, probably still holds Diddy responsible for him being the only rapper who actually did have to go to jail for 10 years, even though I’d say that sentence was just about right for the kind of stupid shit he did. I heard Bad Boy was the one label he wouldn’t even consider signing to once his feet touched ground – even though that may have been in part a vote of no confidence in Diddy’s ability to make money in the music business. Diddy seems more vulnerable, and hence ripe for lulz, than ever these days, what with his son having a Hawaiian Silky and getting turned down by Nicki Minaj (who has Minaj in her name, fer chrissakes), not to mention the sad state of affairs at Bad Boy Records. Ahem, “Entertainment.” If Shyne needs something to say about Diddy, he needs only to holler at your boy. I would demand very little of that $5 million – via PayPal. They’ve got the Internets in Belize, right?

One problem though. Shyne can’t rap for shit these days. Or so I’ve heard. I never did get around to listening to that song he did with DJ Khaled, which wasn’t quite good enough to be on a DJ Khaled album, but I heard it sucks balls. (Somewhere, Ace Hood’s self-esteem just went up a notch.) Just now, I went to conduct my standard five minutes worth of research for this post, and I read where there might be some sort of conspiracy to cover it up. Maybe LA Reid gave DJ Khaled some of that A-rab money to pretend it doesn’t exists… but not before it hit the Internets. When it did, there was talk that Def Jam (and anyone else with the sense god gave geese) might have to rescind their offer, but they’re probably not as concerned with putting out a good rap album as their are about cashing in on a news story.

  • jonny bizness

    i hope l.a does shyne right all shyne needs is some production from kanye and no i.d then smash puff up hit em up style but i got the feeling he is gonna play it cool 2 get back into the states ie wolf in sheeps clothing literally

  • http://www.mikestreezy.com Mike Streezy

    Kinda makes you wonder what they have in store. I liked Shyne somewhat back in the day, but he never seemed to be that great even in his prime. I hope he does well with his cd and he spent some of that time locked up crafting his masterpiece.

  • .tony.

    Tags: ace hood’s self-esteem

    hah.

  • latino heat

    i’m glad someone else has some of the same views of this story as i do. (see my comments on the Shyne news story on Tuesday) according to some people on this site Godfather Buried Alive, “went platinum from a jail cell.” and i’m just hatin.

  • Josh

    Let the Guerilla Black bidding war begin

  • Worley

    “leaving Shyne to be represented by some public defender who didn’t even have the sense to tell him to take off that silly baseball cap.”

    Apparently, he still doesn’t have anyone telling him to take off the silly ass hat. Now he’s put a Pee Wee suit with it.

  • http://flavorblade.blogspot.com flavorblade

    I needed a good laugh.

  • Brooklyn

    i always thought shyne had great potential, though his last cd wasn’t too good and i didn’t hear many good things about his post-jail rhyme. nevertheless, i liked his first cd, and i wish dude luck. it’ll be a damn shame if niggas were anxiously awaiting his release and he comes back with a bunch of wack shit.

  • seanp

    this will cost L.A his job, shyne a ready flop once and will flop again giving shyne 5 mill in these time is waste, she was not worth 5 mill in the higth f his career much less know

    la better start looking for new job his ass is going get fired

  • Che

    ‘and not just because Shyne was dressed like a cross between Pee Wee Herman and Kung Lao from Mortal Kombat’

    Bol – 25/02/10

    ‘Shyne Dressed Like Pee-Wee Herman with Kung Lao Hat on, Meets His Executive (HNIC), LA Reid’

    Shabooty – 24/02/10

    bol, didn’t you have a bitchfit about kanye doing something like this a little while back?

    • jmc

      Shabooty and Bol are friends,plus i think Bol first said this on twitter.

      • Che

        kanye and rhymefest were friends too. bol still had a bitchfit about it.

  • foolio_iglesias

    @Bol-Oops!

  • nicholasdelorejo

    I’m still scratching my head as to why Def Jam would pay 5 mill for rapper that has never made any significant numbers in sales. Signing Shyne is one thing but he will recoup that 5 mill in today’s market. Shit, OBCL2 didn’t sell big and it was considered the best rap album of 2009. Shyne doesn’t appeal to any other fanbase but Rae or 50′s so his album should sell within that range.

    But anyway I really don’t understand the interest labels have for this guy. I’m not hating on dude’s skills, I’m just confused on why labels are eager to sign him based on his previous success. It’s not like dude was primarly known for his lyricism as he is known as the fall guy of the infamous club shooting involving Diddy. Even if he were to go at Diddy, what the fuck would that do? Beans it still going at Jay and now T.I. and nobody gives a shit (at least in terms of providing hype for an album). The incident hasn’t hurt Diddy’s album sales at the time so why should it help Shynes now?

    In a weird way both Yung Berg and Shyne are alike in that their known for their fucked up predicaments as opposed to their hits. I’m not hating on Shyne but instead of wasting that 5 mill on a less successful rapper, why not focus that money on the acts that can sell now.

  • sealsaa

    “and not just because Shyne was dressed like a cross between Pee Wee Herman and Kung Lao from Mortal Kombat.”

    FINISH HIM!!!

    *Shyne signs the contract for 5 mil, despite having never been a commercially viable artist, even at the height of his popularity, thus ethering L.A. Reid’s career/credibility at Def Jam*

    FATALITY!!!

  • caino

    Classic Sealsaa!!

    ‘Just because Shyne shot up a club for no apparent reason, thus ruining Diddy’s relationship with Jennifer Lopez, who had a solid two to three years worth of backshots left in her at that point, which ended up going to Ben Affleck. That bastard.’

    to funny ^^^^^

  • http://xxl All Dae

    Leave Po alone lol…he just came out the box and his fashion sense is a littel rusty. Plus his look is Ganster like doing 10 years around criminals G’d up. Straight up. If Shyne came to Chi.Town I’d smoke that nigga out and make sure he’s good. Real reconize..yall know the deal.

    Shyne may make the money back not in albums sales but concerts, posters, shirts, endorsments, product placement…yall know the deal.

  • Gift

    “If you’re one of these bum-ass rappers who would do anything to get mentioned on some guy’s blog, let alone a deal with a major label, it must have chapped your ass to watch LA Reid fly to Belize to sign Shyne for $5 million – and not just because Shyne was dressed like a cross between Pee Wee Herman and Kung Lao from Mortal Kombat”

    lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NIGGA BOL WENT IN WITHIN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH. lMFAO!!!!!MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!!!!FINISH HIM!!!!!!LMAO!!!MY BAD YALL. THE WEED I’M ON RIGHT NOW IS GREAT.

  • mav

    yeah def jam is fuckin up big time la reidmust like cheap coke cuz thats the only reason to be in belize

  • greferesinc

    I can’t believe you people even think this guys is funny, I have not laughed at one article yet, and im still trying too…

    I heard Bol gets knocked out like his father!