The secret plan to rehabilitate Lil Wayne’s career

It became clear to me, yesterday, when I saw Lil Wayne on the cover of the new Rolling Stone, that the TIs are sending him to prison on purpose, to get his career back in order.

The dead giveaway was the fact that they’ve got him dressed like a cholo, with those heavily starched khaki work pants hanging down around his ass (no homo), a red bandana hanging from his right pocket, and I’m pretty sure he’s throwing up the gang sign for the bloods. A real cholo usually wears a button down shirt, sometimes with only the top button buttoned, for whatever reason, but that’s probably just because Mexicans aren’t known for their physique, despite the fact that so many of them work in construction. Which I’m assuming is because they’re part Feather Indian, and Feather Indians aren’t a very hardy people. That’s why they can’t hold their liquor. Lil Wayne’s starting to develop a PCP gut, like Gucci Mane, but he does have all of those cool tattoos to show off. And I doubt anyone who reads Rolling Stone would know from a real cholo.

You know good and well the idea there was to dress Lil Wayne like a gangbanger. Sometimes a rapper can get away with throwing up a gang sign on TV, like when Snoop Dogg throws up a Crip sign during a performance on Saturday Night Live, but there’s no Lil Wayne could secretly slip in the sign for the bloods on the cover of Rolling Stone, as heavily scrutinized as these magazine covers are. They make sure the women on magazine covers are perfect down to the very last pixel – and god bless them for it. If they were really concerned about the Crips pulling a driveby on the Rolling Stone offices, they could have just cropped the picture at the wrist. Not that they have anything to worry about. How badass can these gangs be, if they let a guy like Lil Wayne – who’s been known to kiss other guys on the lips – go around pretending to be a member, without doing anything about it? Do the bloods even kill people in their own neighborhoods anymore? I’m not promoting black on black violence. I’m just saying.

The Rolling Stone cover just so happened to pop up the same week that Rebirth, the Lil Wayne rock album, finally hit stores. Which I didn’t even realize, until I read just now that it’s on track to sell upwards of 150,000 copies its first week out, despite the fact that I’m sure a lot of people don’t even know a new Lil Wayne album came out this week. There’s no single on the radio, is there? I know Rebirth had been set to drop in February, but I thought it had been postponed indefinitely, once they realized how bad it was and the fact that there’s not a whole lot Lil Wayne can do to promote it, what with Lil Wayne scheduled to report to the pokey just in time for Valentines Day. I guess the thought there was to cut their losses – they spent so much money recording the damn thing, they might as well capitalize on the publicity from Lil Wayne going to jail. Meanwhile, they can use the fact that Lil Wayne is going to jail to boost his street cred, to wipe the taste of of Rebirth from people’s mouths before it even passes their lips. No Boutros.

It’s a brilliant PR strategy, if you think about it, to the point where you have to wonder if Lil Wayne really did have to go to prison. As many times as he’s been caught with shit on his bus, including everything from drugs to guns to underage girls, and gotten away with it, what was the point of him pleading guilty in this case in New York? I could see if they caught standing on a street corner in Times Square pointing a gun at somebody, like that one bum mixtape rapper they shot during Kwanzaa, but they didn’t even find the gun on him, they found it in his bathroom. Yeah, it was his tour bus, but how did they know it didn’t belong to one of his weed carriers? If your job involves riding around on a tour bus with Lil Wayne, chances are you’ve spent some time in the joint, and hence would be better suited to serve a bid than Lil Wayne. The way they pinned the gun on him is that they found his gism on it, but that could have just been because it was in his bathroom. Maybe he shot a three-roper at a groupie’s chin, and the third rope fell a bit short.

Stacin Goins could have had this case thrown out of court almost immediately. But then there wouldn’t have been an opportunity to make Lil Wayne look like a badass, now would there?

  • eesco

    Absolute brilliance once again sir.

    **How badass can these gangs be, if they let a guy like Lil Wayne – who’s been known to kiss other guys on the lips – go around pretending to be a member, without doing anything about it? Do the bloods even kill people in their own neighborhoods anymore? I’m not promoting black on black violence. I’m just saying.**

    Yo that had me rolling at my desk at work. Keep them coming.

    • AZ40

      Co-sign that’s what i said what happened to blood in blood out that’s why so many “celebrity” bloods are popping up and I’m pretty sure makin’ another man bleed while your fuckin’ him in tha ass doesn’t count…Niggas actin’ like he did somethin’ hardbody to go to jail.

  • Broke Iz A Disease

    Preach

  • NotoriousAGC

    MVP of 2010 for XXL already?

    • http://www.myspace.com/smokiethegod smokiewight

      you buckin’ for dickrider of 2010?

  • Deadly MIME

    Lil Wayne is only doin the shit hes doin cause he knows whwn he gets out yall gonna buy his shit and ride the shit outta his dick. FUCK LIL WAYNE!!!!!

  • beaver

    the truth..

    dumb bloods let anybody bang it..
    i bett eminem could pull off bein a blood..if he wanted 2..
    and nobody would do shit bout it..

    fuckk it..
    good blog

  • bxrich3

    As many times as he’s been caught with shit on his bus, including everything from drugs to guns to underage girls, and gotten away with it, what was the point of him pleading guilty in this case in New York?

    i spit out my water. Bol been on point since the year started. keep it up(no weezy)

  • http://antwonomous.blogspot.com Antwonomous

    The problem I have with this piece is that it presupposes that Wayne’s career needs to be rehabilitated. The dude is at his peak. He’s a rock star. I must be missing something.

    Or Bol is just making shit up.

    • http://www.myspace.com/smokiethegod smokiewight

      rock star?last i checked,he’s still a (sic)rapper.damn,homie.dickride much?

  • sealsaa

    @Antwonomous

    The latter.

  • BIGNAT

    i see bol is stepping his game up everyday now that ron is gone.
    ” How badass can these gangs be, if they let a guy like Lil Wayne – who’s been known to kiss other guys on the lips – go around pretending to be a member, without doing anything about it?” LMAO!!!!!!!!!
    “The way they pinned the gun on him is that they found his gism on it, but that could have just been because it was in his bathroom. Maybe he shot a three-roper at a groupie’s chin, and the third rope fell a bit short.”
    ROTFL!!!!!!!!!

  • DV8

    How badass can these gangs be, if they let a guy like Lil Wayne – who’s been known to kiss other guys on the lips – go around pretending to be a member, without doing anything about it? Do the bloods even kill people in their own neighborhoods anymore? I’m not promoting black on black violence. I’m just saying.

    Along with the fact that he is throwin the B down instead of up. I could have sworn that was considered disreapectful. But Wayne is gangster though right?

  • just joe

    sounds to me like you’re disrespecting mexicans…I live in H-town, and lived in San Antonio for a few years. I would love to see you come over here and talk that shit to these ese’s over here. Dem niggas crazy as fuck!

    • NotoriousAGC

      wth u talkin bout’? I’m Mexican/american born in L.A. and i did NOT see anything anti-latino at all

      • Jose

        Eres Mexicano Americano? My bad, let me translate it for you, You Mexican/American? I don’t think so cause that was trash talking about us.You aren’t brown, if you were you would stand up and not be scared to agree with me. This is for anyone that might wanna start shit, don’t play that race shit cause I got friends from all races. I never make any racial remarks about them and if for any crazy reason I do then I expect them to box it out with me just like I would if they talk shit about my race.Keep that in mind byron.

  • caino

    ‘The way they pinned the gun on him is that they found his gism on it, but that could have just been because it was in his bathroom. Maybe he shot a three-roper at a groupie’s chin, and the third rope fell a bit short.’

    LOL nearly exploded reading these lines!!

    Does anyone really believe that these rappers are really in gangs??

    • Enlightened

      Yeah…. these young niggas in the cities they go on tour in do.

      They need to go back and listen to DJ Quik – Way 2 Fonky album. He warned niggas about that shit back then.

      Best believe he go into plenty cities hearing “what up cuzz” and shit like that. Niggas bring extra drama to they life for no reason.

  • macdatruest

    Maybe he shot a three-roper at a groupie’s chin, and the third rope fell a bit short.
    ^^^^
    You gotta aim for the forehead right in the middle

  • Ladidadida

    The smoking gun has been exposing rappers left and right but no word on waynes cases? It is understood that these are the Hollywood Bloods right? Maybe wayne is doing jail time to match the precedent set by the other top tier artist. (T.I., Gucci) Not sayin their equals just on the same platform. The call out little wayne records started coming out the woodworks and not just from gillie da kid nemore. We all know the story about the curren$y split, 50 was doin alot of talkin on war angel, and where do i start with the trend 40 glocc started. Sounds to me like the real little wayne was popping out too much and they wanted him to put the mask back on. My question is why is his BLOOD SET full of little kids?

  • Joe Morgan jr.

    Growing up in the 80′s. I had the opportunity to see first hand the growth and entrenchment of gangs in American society. I saw this not on t.v. but through my bedroom window. What the youth are seeing now on t.v. or Internet is not real gang-banging it’s record promotion.Cash Money starting talking this Blood business when they realized the explosive nationwide growth of Blood affiliation. Cash Money has tapped into this trend in order to make money. This is not the first time, In the early 90′s Cash Money with Wayne included all wore Blue Flags. At the time the Crips had a larger growth rate than the Bloods.One of the many lessons I learned as a youth about gang culture.Finding yourself being from the wrong Set in the wrong neighborhood will get you f-cked up. But this is not as dangerous as being a perpetrator or a transformer. Real members find that even more disrespectful and are going to go looking for you. I do not bump 40 Glocc’s music . But I do respect the fact he sticks to the old school rules. I’m sure we all have seen the video were 40 Glocc expresses his unhappiness while Cash Money hides inside there Suburban.They were so scared the only guy that gets out in Cash Money’s defense is a older well dressed WHITE man that looks to be ex-MILITARY. I said all that to say this. KIDS DON’T GANG-BANG ! If you do it for real, expect death and imprisonment. If your faking it to sell records like Cash Money you better go platinum. Because ex-Navy Seals don’t come cheap and your ass is going to need them.

  • BEasy

    WELL SAID!