Pussy TKO

It’s about time the Game took his trolling to the next level.

For years now, he’s been letting us in on more than we needed to know about the girls he’d like to fuck, and the girls he wouldn’t like to fuck, almost as if he was a professional blogger. On his first album, The Documentary, he famously informed us that he’s wanted to fuck Mya ever since she was on the cover of the late, great King magazine, but he wouldn’t have sex with Mariah Carey even if it was in a two-way with Ashanti. Damn.

That line must chap Nick Cannon’s ass every time he hears it (no homo), if he ever listens to The Documentary. On the one hand, he’s got one of the top R&B chicks evar, but he didn’t get her until it was a little bit too late. I’m not gonna lie – I spent some quality time with that video she did for the “Heartbreaker” remix, with Da Brat, as well as that episode of Cribs she did right before she drowned that cat in her hot tub. Remember when she had to change into some lingerie before she could show the world said hot tub? That was the longest commercial break evar. Then she tried to put the cat in the hot tub with her, and the cat went all apeshit. I was like, “Damn, she just tried to drown that cat!” Then a few days later, I’m riding in my car and I hear on the radio that Mariah Carey has had some sort of breakdown, after the death of her cat. She hasn’t been quite the same ever since. The last few pictures I’ve seen of her have been just plain hard to look at, and you guys know I love me some questionable white women.

But I digress.

The Game stepped his, erm, game up to a certain degree on his second album, The Doctor’s Advocate, the only West Coast rap album I’ve liked since forever. There was that song about how video hoes only make enough money to drive a Honda Accord. (Which must be nice.) You could tell he was upset, because he wanted to bang some of these video hoes, and they wouldn’t let him hit it.

The reason we know The Game wanted to bang a video ho is twofold: First of all, The Game has been baiting Jay-Z probably since he was in high school, and I’m sure it occurred to get a famous wife, to compete with Beyonce. He may have even tried to holler at Solange, similar to how Jay took his Nas’ stannery to the next level by banging the little homey’s baby’s mother. Second of all, who wouldn’t want to bang a video ho? I’d slap my own mother to bend one of those cows over, and questionable white women are more to my liking. But of course I’d explain to her, beforehand, that the reason I’m slapping her is because it would afford me the opportunity to have sex with a video ho, not because I’m upset with her. She might even go along with it. She once gave me $40 to go to a strip club. And there’s always the possibility that I might accidentally impregnate the video ho. My mom wants a grandchild anyway – and because she’s a black woman, she’d secretly kinda hate it, if it was half-white, on its mother’s side.

The reason we know The Game has yet to bang one of these video hoes is because there’s no way he could bang a video ho and not mention it in at least one of his songs, if not all of them from here on out. He could try, but it’d be like that episode of Beavis and Butthead where Buzzcut told them they couldn’t laugh during sex ed, or else. Alas, the only time I’ve heard The Game talking about getting it on with a video ho was that time he said he fingerbanged Vida Guerra at a party, and she said he didn’t. I’m assuming he did, just because that sounds like some weird shit to make up, but she didn’t want anyone to know about it, because he’s kind of a nutjob/loser. Damn. It must be tough to be a famous rapper and have a video ho not want the world to know the two of you had sex. I wonder if that’s what led him to write that song in the first place.

Listening to The Game’s new song “Pussy Fight” (did I really just type that?), you can just see him sitting around plotting on how he’s gonna take his antics even one step further. He must have come up with an actual plan, that consisted of two main objectives: 1) Come up with a song in which he says the most foul shit imaginable involving sex with famous women. And obviously he achieved that with “Pussy Fight,” the highlight of which being the line, “I know it’s Reggie Bush, but that used to be Ray J Bush. She used to blow me like birthday kush.” Roffle. You know good and well The Game fed Ray J that line. That’s probably the only reason he was called in to collaborate. It’s not like he can sing. 2) Finally have sex with someone famous. Even if it’s Tila Tequila. Word on the street is that he’s also completed this objective, and it may have even resulted in her being pregnant. Yikes!

How much of a trip would it be, if The Game banged Tila Tequila, just so he could write about it in a song, and he ended up getting her pregnant? That would be almost as bad as what’s happened to Nas. I can’t imagine that The Game would want to have a baby with Tila Tequila, because she hardly possesses any traits you’d want passed down to your offspring, other than good hair, but I could imagine Tila Tequila purposely trying to get pregnant by him. You see what she did to that football player, not to mention what she did to that baby powder heiress’ corpse. I consulted the Google just now, to see if there’s any truth to this, and I see she really is going around saying The Game got her pregnant. Fortunately for him, this bitch has been known to tell a lie.

  • General

    “I see she really is going around saying The Game got her pregnant. Fortunately for him, this bitch has been known to tell a lie.”

    That was some funny shit right there…

    And you ain’t lie that joint off the Doctor’s Advocate with Kanye was funny as hell…

  • BD

    I didnt even know Gayme was still alive…

  • George Clooney

    Thank you for this. You read my mind with about 90% of your observations. I can’t cosign the notion that Mariah has lost any stroke appeal however, cuz I’d still hit that shit with the fury of Zeus, given the opportunity.

    • eesco

      **I’d still hit that shit with the fury of Zeus, given the opportunity.**

      yo real talk I second that notion only screw the fury of Zeus I’m going in with the fury of Kratos God of War style.

      • NotoriousAGC

        lmao!

        • rene

          **I’d still hit that shit with the fury of Zeus, given the opportunity.**

          Completely co-sign !!!!

  • sealsaa

    *I’d slap my own mother to bend one of those cows over”

    *DEAD*

  • sealsaa

    Co-sign George Clooney

    Given the option of banging Mariah or Beyonce(the requisite “hot chick” these days), i’d take Mariah FTW

  • http://xxl All Dae

    similar to how Jay took his Nas’ stannery to the next level by banging the little homey’s baby’s mother.//

    You could tell he was upset, because he wanted to bang some of these video hoes, and they wouldn’t let him hit it.

    ———————————————-
    truer words have never be wrote

  • Bobo D

    If Game really did smash Tila its best he keeps hush on it, see what happened to Eddie Murphy and Scary Spice.

    I also read some ish about Tila and how she said its a famous rapper who impregnated her. If it’s really not Game, I got my money on Diddy or Wayne.

  • John Cochran

    You obviously don’t follow the site you work for Bol. Someone did a post on the Game song yesterday. We all know Game is a bipolar nutjob, so what. He wins either way when every blogger with 5 minutes of freetime posts about his latest dumb fuckery.

  • Aldeezy

    @Bobo D

    You know Wayne’s got that yellow fever, plus (hopefully) prison time coming up, I’m sure not wrapping up Lil Wang is the least of his concerns atm.

  • cmoney91

    funny as hell post Bol

  • http://www.jango.com/music/EmCDL EmCDL

    That Tila Tequila is a disgrace to women everywhere, bad enough that she’s around, now we gonna have to deal with another seed of her? GTFOH and SMDH….

  • BEEZIE!

    To even insinuate that he went in Tila Tequila rawdogg is bad enough, maybe even a career killer (as if getting played on Change of Heart wasn’t enough, then letting 50 kiss him on the cheek, then making an entire song about groupies that even he, a multiplatinum rapper, cant bang, and the song where he got drunk and professed his love for Dre, and… shit I can go on for days)… I wouldn’t so much as spit in that bitch’s pussy

  • DV8

    “The reason we know The Game wanted to bang a video ho is twofold: First of all, The Game has been baiting Jay-Z probably since he was in high school, and I’m sure it occurred to get a famous wife, to compete with Beyonce. He may have even tried to holler at Solange, similar to how Jay took his Nas’ stannery to the next level by banging the little homey’s baby’s mother. Second of all, who wouldn’t want to bang a video ho? I’d slap my own mother to bend one of those cows over, and questionable white women are more to my liking. But of course I’d explain to her, beforehand, that the reason I’m slapping her is because it would afford me the opportunity to have sex with a video ho, not because I’m upset with her. She might even go along with it. She once gave me $40 to go to a strip club. And there’s always the possibility that I might accidentally impregnate the video ho. My mom wants a grandchild anyway – and because she’s a black woman, she’d secretly kinda hate it, if it was half-white, on its mother’s side.”

    Dead on this whole paragraph.

    Bol is gonna hold it down. Alot of bloggers have come and gone and Bol has outlasted them all. Kinda like LL Cool J or Ice Cube or Scarface.

    • DV8

      BTW your topic sentence “Game may have just played himself” is kind of redundant isnt it.
      The question is when doesnt Game play himself?

  • Chilly Willy

    “But of course I’d explain to her, beforehand, that the reason I’m slapping her is because it would afford me the opportunity to have sex with a video ho, not because I’m upset with her. She might even go along with it. She once gave me $40 to go to a strip club. And there’s always the possibility that I might accidentally impregnate the video ho. My mom wants a grandchild anyway – and because she’s a black woman, she’d secretly kinda hate it, if it was half-white, on its mother’s side.”
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    I…I..I fuckin give up……….

  • George Clooney

    If Game did in fact hit that Tila bitch raw, I’m pretty sure he’s going to be dying from a potpourri of various STDs, some of which haven’t even been given names yet. Never mind the career suicide kick this idiot has been on since penning that open love letter to Dre on Doctor’s Advocate, he’s jeopardizing his life, and at the very least his dick, for some D Level celebrity ass.

  • BIGNAT

    “and you guys know I love me some questionable white women”
    bol you are a fool

  • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

    I fuxx wit XXL, real talk. Y’all know I’m a Commission general.

    Vanessa hook this sh*t up…it’s looking bad right now…I ain’t a yes man, I’ma give you real talk…it’s boring mami, hook that up…

    PEACE

    • Will E. Will

      co muthaphuckin sign

      • these posts are racist

        Co sing playboy. How you been homey? (Syk)

        • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

          @ TPAR

          Wishing you would build homie…you sparked my mental…

          @ Will

          I lost ure email… leave it over there…Commission is here…moderation current

  • NotoriousAGC

    She might even go along with it. She once gave me $40 to go to a strip club. And there’s always the possibility that I might accidentally impregnate the video ho. My mom wants a grandchild anyway – and because she’s a black woman, she’d secretly kinda hate it, if it was half-white, on its mother’s side…

    WOW…..WOW…lmaoooooooooooo

    BLOG OF THE MONTH

  • caino

    Bol, you should collate all your blogs from the last 2 years , put them into a book and seel that shit for christmas!! Guranteed, you could move out your shack in St Louis and move to the hills and maybe bange heidi Montag! lol

    ‘That line must chap Nick Cannon’s ass every time he hears it (no homo), if he ever listens to The Documentary. On the one hand, he’s got one of the top R&B chicks evar, but he didn’t get her until it was a little bit too late. I’m not gonna lie – I spent some quality time with that video she did for the “Heartbreaker” remix, with Da Brat, as well as that episode of Cribs she did right before she drowned that cat in her hot tub. Remember when she had to change into some lingerie before she could show the world said hot tub? That was the longest commercial break evar. Then she tried to put the cat in the hot tub with her, and the cat went all apeshit. I was like, “Damn, she just tried to drown that cat!” Then a few days later, I’m riding in my car and I hear on the radio that Mariah Carey has had some sort of breakdown, after the death of her cat. She hasn’t been quite the same ever since. The last few pictures I’ve seen of her have been just plain hard to look at, and you guys know I love me some questionable white women.’

    Too funny !!

  • gaddic

    This dude is hilarious!!!

    I MOTHAF*CKING CO-SIGN EVERY WORD!!!!!!!

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