Marky Mark > Kid Cudi – Put Your Shirt Back On, Homie
Before I even start this little rant, let me start with a preemptive PAUSE! This admittedly may traverse some pause-worthy moments, but it has to be said.
So I was perusing the Internet earlier today and came across news that Kid Cudi—whose music I love by the way—is the new poster boy for Calvin Klein. That’s a good look, I thought to myself. I could totally see him rockin’ some CK gear, but to my surprise, the Cleveland native wasn’t sportin’ khakis and polo shirts—he was shirtless and modeling underwear.
I’m not mad at any man making bread, especially in a recession, but the thought of Cudi’s chest hair taco meat plastered on 50 foot billboards in Times Square or even the pages of this site’s magazine is not my idea of a good time. I’m more into the idea of Nicki Minaj as a Victoria’s Secret model, as I’m sure all of you are, too.
I mean, seriously; how did this whole deal come about? I know Cudi is making mainstream waves with his HBO series, How to Make it in America, and is fast becoming a marketable commodity, but “underwear model” wouldn’t be part of my career goals, especially when my pecs weren’t up to par with the last two rappers to do it.
Nelly made ladies drool and men hit the gym, when pics of his shirtless ad for Sean John popped up last year (PAUSE) but the originator of the rapper-turned-actor-turned-CK-model was Marky Mark, known now as Mark Wahlberg.
Not that I’m in any rush to see more rappers running around in their boxer briefs (the offer still stands for Nicki, though) but c’mon, son! I’m sure chicks were way more excited to see Mark’s “funky bunch” than they were to see Cudi’s birdcage.
In fact, I could think of several rappers I’d like to see topless and sorry, Kid Cudi ain’t nowhere near the top or bottom of that list. But, uhm, Nicki, the offer still stands—I’ll even do the shoot myself. —Anslem Samuel