If it’s been a while since we’ve discussed Joe Budden, that’s because Joe Budden is only interesting when he’s in an embarrassing relationship, and it’s been a while now since the end of his last major embarrassing relationship. Him and Taheezo broke up at some point in 2009. Which was a decade ago, if you want to be cheeky about. At any rate, it’s ancient history in Internets time. (I know… so why are we even talking about it? I’ll get to that, fag.)
I know there was talk of him getting with an epic amount of hoo-ers and filming it all for Joe Budden TV, for the vicarious amusement of the Internet Soldiers, and, admittedly, myself, but that must not have panned out. Let me guess: convincing a shedload of women, even hispanic women, to publicly admit to having had sex with him wasn’t as easy as he figured it would be. Many of them must have realized that he’s hardly any more famous than I am. The Internet Soldiers have written at least two songs about me, that I can think of off the top of my head. Possibly more than that. How many have they written about Budden himself? Taheezo was once almost on the cover of King magazine. Has Budden been on the cover of XXL? I rest on your face.
He did take up with video ho Somaya Reece, but that must not have gone anywhere. I can vaguely recall consulting the Google to see how her tank-ass compares to Taheezo’s, but the most interesting thing that I can remember about her is that she once appeared in an episode of Entourage, in which she was credited as “Video Ho #2,” or something to that effect. And that was about the extent of the information I could find on her. Her career was obviously going nowhere, with or without Joe Budden. I will say that I saw a few pictures of her that were the digital equivalent of Viagra, in a very literal sense. But then I saw a few other pictures of her where she appeared to be pushing maximum density, as John Bender might put it. Which leads me to believe that she might be having a problem keeping her body together. And maybe that’s how Joe Budden got with her. Not that I’m hating. I’ve long been an advocate of finding a woman who would be a knockout, if it wasn’t for one pretty several flaw, and using that to your advantage.
Speaking of having an unfair advantage, the reason I’m even discussing Joe Budden in the first place, as if this were still the aughts (and the first half of them, at that), is because he was on satellite radio the other day discussing whether or not he’s a woman beater. I guess there was a video on World Star of Taheezo going to have her tattoo of Joe Budden’s name removed (a good idea, at this point) and in it she accused him of being physically abusive. Which I could totally see, for a number of reasons, but at the same time, I’m always weary of women trying to accuse men of domestic violence, based primarily on hearsay (since there’s no picture of her looking like she just got out of a car with Chris Brown), especially a while after a relation that came to an end that wasn’t, erm, amicable. For all we know, she could just be pissed off that everyone knows she was dumb enough to get with him in the first place, and this is her way at getting back at him, when she should be getting back at herself, by letting Bol hit it. (Talk about a punishment…)
For his part, Joe Budden claims that he didn’t hit Taheezo, he just “mushed” her. Whatever that’s supposed to mean. Actually, I do think I know what that’s supposed to mean. It means that he pushed her, and she went flying into a wall (per his own admission, mind you, not conjecture on my part), but it wasn’t the same as him hitting her, because “mushing” her didn’t require much actual force. Even though she had a broken nose at the time, from that time she got cold cocked in a club, for talking shit. (Remember that shit? No? Lucky bastard.) He had caught her cheating on him… which I suppose doesn’t make any difference, though it does kinda make this all her fault, at least academically. An argument ensued, and he ended up pushing her into a wall. But not in a way that could be construed as abuse. Roffle. Though, if I can play devil’s advocate here, he might actually have a point. To wit: If domestic violence could be prevented by means of browbeating and casting aspersions, there wouldn’t be any domestic violence to speak of. But obviously it can’t. Were there better ways Joe Budden could have dealt with that situation (provided he had the mental capacity to come up with them)? Sure. But there were worse ones too.
Just throwing it out there…