In semi-defense of Yung Berg

Gulliness means never having to go on the Internets to explain how you didn’t really get robbed by a woman.

Like Yung Berg. He took to the Internets just now to clear up rumors that he got robbed this weekend by four people, two guys and two girls, and that the two guys stood guard while the two girls beat the crap out of him and stole $10,000 in cash and jewelry from from him and the rest of the people at his house, as reported by the legendary Media Take Out, and then TMZ.

First he took to his Twitter account to inform people that they should only believe half of what they see and none of what they hear, even if it’s from TMZ, which is owned by a multinational corporation with lawyers on staff and a direct line to the LAPD. If they got those photos of Rihanna looking like she left a towel in the pool at Joe Jackson’s house, how hard would it be for them to find out if there was a robbery at Yung Berg’s house. The shit is probably a matter of the public record, just like all of the other scoops the MSM snatched right out from under hip-hop journalism.

Then Yung Berg added, also on his Twitter, that the next thing you, people are gonna be suggesting that he’s teh ghey! As if it’s inconceivable that Yung Berg could be a fudge, what with his facial tattoos, and his lithe physique, and that song he did with Ray J… It just goes to show how delusional he is. His handlers might want to take him to see a mental health professional. Getting robbed and beaten up so many times must have fucked with his brain. For all we know, he might be genuinely unaware of the fact that he just got robbed.

If only his handlers really did have his best interests in mind. They’re probably more concerned with whether or not he can come up with another “Hey Sexy Lady,” which is why they’ve got him out here spinning. They realize he’s long past the point where a man could take him seriously, but men don’t buy songs called “Hey Sexy Lady” anyway. They’re trying to protect his image amongst women. It was one thing when he was getting beat up by bad motherfuckers like Maino and Trick Trick, but women don’t like the idea of a man who can’t beat up a woman. On a subconscious level, women like to know that the man they’re with could kick the living shit out of them. It makes the sex that much more exciting. That’s why Asian men stay taking an L in the dating game, if not quite as often as black chicks.

I actually feel sorry for Yung Berg, to the point where I wouldn’t even be making fun of him, if I knew of a better way to put food on my family. He can’t help it if six dreaded n-words kicked in his front door, like Biggie Smalls looking to teach Faith Evans a lesson, and two of them happened to be girls. I’d have to see a picture of the girls before I could say for certain that they could kick the crap out of him even if they didn’t have guns pointed at him. For all we know, Yung Berg could have taken these girls in what fellow short person eskay likes to call a fair one. But the truth of the matter is that they did have guns on him, and if he would have tried to channel his inner Chris Brown, he would have been on the Internets talking about how he doesn’t care about the fact that he got shot, like this clown Wacka Flocka, instead of copping a plea about getting robbed – when his name is practically synonymous with getting robbed.

To think, if Yung Berg spent less money on jewelry and spent it on a house in a better neighborhood, this wouldn’t be an issue. He needs to get one of those apartments like Soulja Boy, where you can’t have more than four black people over at once without the rest of the tenants trying to have you evicted. When I was in high school, I could hardly drive down my own street without 5-0 checking to see if I wasn’t there to steal, and you know what? I kinda liked it. It made me feel safer at night when I went to bed. As far as I’m concerned, the fact that these dreaded n-words keep preying on these rappers is way sadder than whether or not some of them are girls. That’s why black people can’t have shit: we stay trying to steal from our own people. What’s really gully, sticking a gun in some semi-retarded kid’s face and taking his chain, or robbing a real celebrity, where you might run the risk of getting attacked by six Israeli dudes, who’d pull some of that Krav Maga shit on you faster than you could say Roc Raida, and then probably try to harvest your organs, if they’re worth a shit? I’m gonna suggest the latter.

  • BossGame

    True!

  • Yung Boss

    Don’t hateee

  • The Unknown

    Damn it Bergie! Just admit that the little bit of manhood you have left has been snatched away like a 10 year old boy at The Vatican. The truth will set you free Bergie! Quit denying “You’ve Been Robbed(In Biggie’s Voice)” We will always find out…………

    • valdez

      oh shit!!!

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  • Worley

    “stole $10,000 in cash and jewelry”

    How did this guy get robbed of cash AND jewelry but the sh*t only added up to 10K? They probably would have done better to steal all the silly ass big plasma TVs throughout the house.

    • Broke Iz A Disease

      C’mon man you seen that fake ass Transformer chain. His jewels ain’t like G-Units. Those joints ain’t real.

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    “If they got those photos of Rihanna looking like she left a towel in the pool at Joe Jackson’s house, how hard would it be for them to find out if there was a robbery at Yung Berg’s house.”
    ^^LMAO!!! got damn, that was hilarious!

    y’all know how shit goes nowadays, them 4 will probably end up in some video on the internet flossing the cash & jewels they got from the robbery. SMH.
    & that video he put up is just comedy @ its finest. LOL.

  • http://www.bboycult.com $yk!

    I’ma go with TMZ on this one.

    f*** Yung Berg

  • Brooklyn

    how much you wanna bet those two chicks were darker than wesley snipes in a ninja suit, drinking a pepsi with the lights off? hell hath no fury like a “dark-butt” scorned. this nigga actually has the nerve to insinuate that someone’s lying about him getting robbed, like he’s that important. he’s a one and a half hit wonder, niggas got more important shit to do than make up lies about his bitch ass.

    • what

      “darker than wesley snipes in a ninja suit, drinking a pepsi with the lights off”

      Ha!

    • DV8

      “how much you wanna bet those two chicks were darker than wesley snipes in a ninja suit, drinking a pepsi with the lights off? hell hath no fury like a “dark-butt” scorned”

      i was thinking the exact same thing, lol

      would that be ironic? (yes Alanis Morrisette)

      • DV8

        i meant wouldnt that be ironic?

        • Brooklyn

          i think we’d call it ironic, but to the darker skinned sisters of the world, i think it would be called “vengeance.”

        • Lowedwn

          LMAO, y’all are funny as hell. So you think them chicks really wanted to pull a “Drop Squad” on him, but took the cash and jewels as a consilation?

        • Brooklyn

          it’s more like “inglorious basterds”, where the guy recruited jews to kill the nazis. someone decided to recruit an army of mocha toned sisters to rob this self-loathing chocolate hating motherfucker. what better way to torture this nigga than to rob him…again? they should have filmed homeboy begging for his life and professing his love for all things black while tongue kissing a picture of whoopi goldberg.

        • what

          “professing his love for all things black while tongue kissing a picture of whoopi goldberg”

          Ha!

  • giantstepp

    Rule #1. Never ever walk around with that much cash. I remember back in the day, cashing my check at the liquor store (got a bank account now with direct deposit), and rushing straight to the crib to put that 6 to 700 dollars up that it took me two weeks to get. In my hood, a robbery is a daily expectance!Damn if negroes was gonna get my paycheck! I’d pull out 50 or 60 dollars and have a good effin time that night. If you gotta pocket full of cash, expect the goons to sniff it out.

  • hate

    too many gems to quote just one in this masterpiece.

    young berg bring out the best in everybody who go at him

  • EReal

    Yo Krav Maga ain’t no joke. Them IDF dudes don’t fuck around, bet that.

  • BIGNAT

    “He needs to get one of those apartments like Soulja Boy, where you can’t have more than four black people over at once without the rest of the tenants trying to have you evicted.”
    you killing it bol man they need to get you that 65 cent raise hahahah. the fact people say it’s more crime because things are fucked up right now. i say no because when things are good people are going steal anyway. if there is to little to go around people turn to stealing. if you have to much people steal because they are lazy to get real jobs.

  • Joe Morgan jr.

    Munsoned = Yung Berged

    “I actually feel sorry for Yung Berg, to the point where I wouldn’t even be making fun of him, if I knew of a better way to put food on my family. ”

    “”Golf Clap”"

  • http://www.shabooty.com shabooty

    gem!

  • http://MickeyBricks mickey bricks

    Another nice one by bol…but i have a question for you Bol…how come you always have to mention something bad about black chicks? isn’t your momma black? did she rape you when you were little? wuts the deal? let us know..i’m really curious…i swear in the last 4 blogs, u mention something fucked up about black chicks..explain…genious blogger tho..i’m just sayin

  • RudNare

    HaHaHaHaHa! *sprawled-all-over-keyboard* :)

  • NotoriousAGC

    your telling me there is a rapper named Young Berg?

  • caino

    “If they got those photos of Rihanna looking like she left a towel in the pool at Joe Jackson’s house, how hard would it be for them to find out if there was a robbery at Yung Berg’s house.”

    one quote just ethered the Karen Civil and No Homo blog!! Other bloggers take note, Bol run this town in 2010 (no rhi rhi)

  • Jhon da Analyst

    I love dark butts!!

    • what

      Co-sign. Anyone who says anything like that has never seen a picture of Oluchi Onweagba.

      • NotoriousAGC

        does buffy the body count as a dark butt? cause goddamn she fine

  • Prince Caesar

    Yung Berg is the true definition of a clown nigga. He had a hit song way back in ’08 and then he got robbed for all of the money and the fake jewels that he purchased with the money before he got his pockets flipped open. Yung Berg=ATM

  • Notorious MTQ

    BOL : you’re the boss !!! You run this site.
    This blog is soooo great.

    But I disagree on one point : I love dark (women)butts !!!

    • Anonymous

      there can only be 1 Notorious in this XXL Site and i’ve been holdin it down for some time LOL
      jk

      • NotoriousAGC

        ps- i forgot to include my nick LMAO

  • thestunna

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha o no

  • NotoriousAGC

    Yung Berg is a bigger Joe Budden than Joe Budden

    • NotoriousAGC

      Let me explain myself

      XXL SLANG

      Joe Budden= Failure in Life

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Yeah, Buffie counts as a dark butt….

  • CLARK

    “his name is practically synonymous with getting robbed.”