Hold your head in the pokey, Lil Wayne

The song “Rikers Island” by Kool G Rap was like the hip-hop equivalent of that movie Scared Straight. It may have actually caused a few kids in New York to think twice about committing a crime, if only because they didn’t want to end up getting fucked in the ass (made humble). But that was 20 years ago. (No, really, it was.) Should Lil Wayne be worried about the one year bid he’s set to begin there today?

We know, because the guy who invented the Hip-Hop Police said so on MTV, that Lil Wayne will be receiving preferential treatment. Rikers Island, a legendary shithole (just like my humble abode), doesn’t have a special wing for celebrities, or guys who have been known to kiss other guys on the lips, but they’re probably gonna keep Lil Wayne in lockdown, and have a supervisor accompany him when he has to be in the main area, lest someone try to test him for his fruit cocktail, like in Half Baked.

But I’m still not sure how safe I’d feel in the joint, just because I had a cell to myself and a chaperon to escort me to the cafeteria, as if I was in the second grade. We’ve all seen those pictures of prison guards asleep on the job, as if they did too many Jagerbombs at a house party – which can get paynas drawn on a guy’s face with a sharpie, like in the movie Garden State. I shudder to think what it might get you in prison. Lil Wayne’s fellow inmates might not like the idea of him getting a room to himself, and his own personal security detail. He’ll be looked after more often than not, but it wouldn’t take very long for some in a gray skull cap to bend him over a chair in the library.

As the saying goes, where there’s a will, there’s the possibility of a vicious anal rape.

You’d think the guys in Rikers Island would want to do something bad to Lil Wayne, if only to make an example out of him. The fact that they’re in jail would lead me to believe that they might be fans of his music, but they can’t just have people thinking a guy like Lil Wayne can do a year on Rikers Island and walk out unscathed. Or can they? The reason I ask is because the traditional idea of what constitutes a badass seems to be falling by the wayside, along with baggy jeans and good rap music. There was a time when pretending to be a member of the bloods could get you shot. Like 2Pac. And obviously that time has long since passed. Gangs have gotten so soft that I’m thinking about joining the Crips just for the exercise. Maybe I’ll start my own set. I wouldn’t want to fuck around and end up in a gang with any actual criminals. There’s a lot of expensive shit in my house.

Plus, there’s the fact that New York has gotten so soft. If you just have to do a year in jail, to boost your street cred, or because you lack the sense god gave geese, Rikers Island might actually be the best place for you. The other day I saw a list of the most dangerous cities in America, and New York wasn’t anywhere on it. The top cities were all shitty Midwestern cities, like Detroit and my native STL. And jails on the West Coast might be even worse, because they’ve got all of those hispanic gang members, and those hispanic gang members, and those hispanic gang members don’t play. I heard Arnold Schwarzenegger was thinking about sending them all back to Mexico. Which would seem like a good idea, except it’s only a mattter of time before they all find their way back. And by a matter of time, I mean a matter of hours.

Oddly enough, the same bullshit policy that got Lil Wayne sent up in the first place might be his saving grace in the pokey. I finally got around to further research his case just now, because they had a little something on MTV, and come to find out the reason Lil Wayne plead guilty is because the gun laws in New York are such bullshit. The gun they found on his bus was registered to his manager, and his lawyers really did consider the money shot defense I suggested the other day, but the thing is, if they lost, Wayne would have been sent up for 15 years or something ridonkulous like that. Whereas, if you got caught with a gun here in the STL, 5-0 would have checked your pockets to make sure you didn’t have any cash on you and sent you on your merry way. We basically have no law here. That’s why we’re so badass. New York, on the other hand? Not so much.

  • AZ40

    Yeah he probably got a couple of fans in there, but hey what’s better than your favorite MC’s autograph, braggin’ bout that thuggin’ love you got from him…Niggas can’t come outta jail actin’ tuff if you was in PC the whole time

  • John Cochran

    Funny shit man. It’s definitely some truth there though. New York has gotten much softer over the years. I used to hear alot of horror stories about people going up there and getting robbed or turned out on crack, but tht was the 90s. Its a good thing though, I’d much rather not duck bullets myself, but Philly niggas is crazy. No celebrity gets tested in jail. I mean cmon, the C.O’s probably love this man, although it may be some who want to check him and Baby creating thier own skinny jean wearing set of bloods.

  • Broke Iz A Disease

    Can you imagine if Lil Wayne actually gets raped in jail and some inmate films it on an illegal cell phone and it gets out to the world? I could see that happening in 2010. Its only a matter of time. (for the record, I don’t wish rape or jail on no man)

  • Deadly MIME

    Ya kno I never thought I would say this but NY has gotten soft. but you have to think about it, after 9/11 everything died down from the gang violence to drug dealing to everything that was crime. Thats why NY is so low on crimes these days. I’m originally from Boston but now I live in Tampa. When I was 6, 7, 8 yrs old, i used to hear bout the shit goin on up there. At one point I was more scared of NY than L.A. Like John Cochran said it was the 90s. far as Lil Wayne goes he’ll like bein in the booty bang gang.

    • NotoriousAGC

      you say it like it’s a bad thing. What is more dissapointing to you?, that people came to their senses after 9/11? or the fact that some blogger calling you city soft? I honestly, don’t get your comment…it’s like you got mad NY calmed down a bit

  • jimmyjoints

    inspired post, bol. thank you.

  • Lloyd Sprayweather

    What if getting raped in jail was just a horror story created to dissuade youngins from committing crimes, and it rarely happens?

  • General

    “Gangs have gotten so soft that I’m thinking about joining the Crips just for the exercise. Maybe I’ll start my own set. I wouldn’t want to fuck around and end up in a gang with any actual criminals. There’s a lot of expensive shit in my house.”

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^

    Classic shit Bol

    Though it looks like Wayne has got a pass for another month

  • hate

    good post

    lil wang wont get fucked unless thats what he wants to happen

    so i’d give him……4 hours into his first day. right after he watches the full version of American Me.
    he’ll be callin in whatever essay he can find to get him acclimated to his year long fantasy island bid.

    fuck wang and baby. fruitcake faggots

    and bol, proof read these posts before you submitt um.

    i dont wanna be readin the same sentence three times in a row

    that shit fucks with your head

  • http://www.bboycult.com The $ykotic Don Mac

    OK.

    There are National Guard posted up in the city…rifles out…police walk the street in NY…uniform & undercover, in cabs, unmarks and cruisers…hood block sweeps every couple of days, INSIDE the PJ’s too…law enforcement on a million, of course the crime would drop…small citation violators get locked up…keep thinking Rikers is a cakewalk…and Wayne will be in PC people.

    NY didn’t get “soft”, it’s under a shroud of martial law. A good example is a kid got popped in the old hood (Marcy) who was a son of a warrant PO. You don’t think the hood is on lockdown now? It’s wintertime, easy to pack.

    My fam & peoples tell me to STAY AWAY from NY, that don’t sound like softness to me…

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Lock this Gremlin up already!!!

  • CrunchyBlack187

    I’ll tell you what’s soft, going to prison on a gun possession charge. You don’t have to be hard to walk around with a gun on you, which I’m sure Wayne only started doing a few years ago(not like he would have ever used it anyway, which is good I guess). But the fact that he is going to prison for it does not in any way give him “street cred”.

    • John Cochran

      He has used a gun before, on himself. He shot himself when he was a kid. Now thats hard.lol

  • Lefty

    “Gangs have gotten so soft that I’m thinking about joining the Crips just for the exercise.”

    fucking.roffle.

  • http://xxl All Dae

    I just read on this site that Lil Wangs sentence has been pushed back. Money talks…this post is today’s and it’s already needing a update.

    Somethings suspect with the whole ordeal. How you get sent up over possesion of someone elses firearm when you have enough money to buy Rikers? Prodigy in the same boat doing three over holdin a piece insted of going upstate for clappin someone. I think they may be in a country club prison and is doing this for street cred.

  • DV8

    Classic post….

    Damn Bol been on fire since RonMex, DP, and Combat Jack left.

  • newyawka631

    Sykotic and me, are probably the main New York contributors/cats on here.So let me give you outta state dudes a few reasons why everyone thinks we are “soft”.

    1.The main reason is politicians(starting with Rudy Guliani and now Mayor Bloomberg) have been putting major pressure on police chiefs,down to officers on the streets to reduce crime no matter what.If crime is high,they don’t get re-elected.All the stats are computerized now,and there is tremendous pressure to keep it lower then last year or face demotion,possibly even find a new job.So now we have both police and political corruption.

    2.The high cost of living(especially rent),has driven a lot of the poor out of N.Y…A large percentage have relocated to the south,where some cities have experienced population growth,but have broken records regarding crime,Especially in Orlando and most of F.L…(You niggaz see those Yankee/mets fitteds,don’t front).So now we down south boosting da crime rate.

    3.Since they have Compuserve(or whateva their computerized shit is called) they deploy the rookie cops into the projects with the highest crime rates.And they are in all sorts of whips.We do have 20,000 police officers.Other cities have adopted the NYPD system,notably L.A,and have seen the lowest crime since the 60′s.

    4.New York gun laws are one of the strictest in the country.We cannot get a permit to carry,like in the south.You also have to have a permit to even buy 1.If u get caught without one,you’re doing a 3 and a half year bid,unless your name is Plaxico and Weezy.And even those niggaz got jail sentences…In Florida,all you need is a clean record,and 72 hours,and now you have a Tec9,Ak47,etc..Now do you see why the crime is higher???

    Whatta you catz gotta say on this??

    • DV8

      NY is the 1st police state and the way things are looking Cali will be the next. The Terminator just freed thousands of inmates (one who raped somebody not even 24 hours from being released) add that to the illegal immigrant problem add that to the fact that Cali is broke as fuck. I wont be suprised if California is the 1st state taken over by the U.S. Government. which will lead to the NAU, which leads to the NWO, and so on forth.

      • NotoriousAGC

        shit CA maybe broke, but i live in L.A. and get my 1,800 every two weeks…get your cake up

        • DV8

          who said I was broke jack ass. I said The State Of California (Government) is broke. Look at the bigger picture. Its cool that your (and myself) are doing well financially but Cali as a whole is in some deep shit.

        • NotoriousAGC

          whoa @ the jackass comment homie, i aint said nuthin bout you bein broke homie, I was sayin the STATE might be broke but NOT me, and i did look @ the bigger picture but i didnt comment on it, CHILL mannnnnnn

        • DV8

          youre right. that was unneccessary (spell check). I apoligize for the jackass comment.

    • John Cochran

      I’m from Philly dude, you can’t tell me shit about curruption. As I type it’s a fat ass cop gettin off for shooting a 20 year old kid right in front of his door. The cops been dirty for years. You know what I think it is. New yorkers are so arrogant that yall will make excuses for why yall not hard anymore, instead of being proud of that. I would love for thier not to be so much crime here.

      • http://www.bboycult.com The $ykotic Don Mac

        “New yorkers are so arrogant that yall will make excuses for why yall not hard anymore”

        ^^^ THIS is NOT accurate.

        People let go of the emotional factor and see what the deal REALLY is.

        The TENSION of surviving in NYC is misconceived as being ARROGANT. You John, living in Philly, should know you cannot come off as being passive living in NYC, you would be eaten alive by the wolves. How many people go to Philly to get away from the city? Have family in PA period? PA ain’t got the $ like NY but it’s a better look than the city, you can’t deny that. Jerz is a better look. Connecticut is a better look.

        Mufukkas in NYC live a fuxed the fukk up life with hardly any nature to remind them that there’s another type of life that exists and bills due so they feel trapped.

        Ain’t this how Hip Hop was created from jump? From these same issues in NYC?

    • just joe

      To say that NY dudes are responsible for increased crime rate in the south is f’n stupid, if anything the crime rate went up cause dem n!gg@s came down here tryna stunt, and got waxed!

      • 619

        The top two reasons for the rise in Southern crime rates have nothing to do with New York. They are from when the 3 strikes law was instituted in California causing an exodus of gang members with priors trying to avoid stricter sentences, and Hurricane Katrina causing an exodus of a major part of New Orlean’s population.

  • http://www.communityleague.wordpress.com The Wize

    Damn Bol, I’ve gone from your most hateringest hater to laughing out loud at Crip exercise and hispanic hours…how the mighty are fallen! jajaja PEACE

  • The Wize

    Maybe the T.I.s prefer T.I.?

  • scob

    Y’know, maybe the reason NY is so soft is because all the hard niggas got locked up already. Or they might have a whole block of Fleece Johnsons in Rikers, waitin to pass out some lollipop

  • 619

    “And jails on the West Coast might even be worse”, imagine Wayne hittin’ general pop in Cali hahaha.

  • sealsaa

    LOLLERSKATES @ the 2Pac>fake thug shot being overlooked in favor of defending NY’s rep.

  • these posts are racist

    I don’t understand it. Is this really “publicity”? One would think with all the years of experience and savvy CMB/Birdman have, they would not allow their most prized artist, indeed, the biggest thing in Hip Hop to go to jail for gun possession.

    Also, Wayne’s Lawyers suck. They didn’t spend the right amount of chedder. Can you imagine Weezy going to jail on Cochran’s watch? Raising Reasonable Doubt (No Jay Z) is easy…

  • these posts are racist

    Also, why do Bloggers hate Tupac? RIP, the GOAT. 12 years after his death and the hate continues. Did he claim to be a Blood? If so, what proof do you offer that he wasn’t a member? Are you claiming he was murdered due to his false flagging? If so, what proof do you offer for this claim?

    At 25, Pac left a legacy unmatched by most human beings combined.

  • WestPhillyPolo

    New York isnt soft. Granted its not as a bad as it used to be, but shit is still hot up there. Look deeper into those crime rankings. You can’t compare cities with a few hundred thousand people to a city like New York. There’s over eight million people there. Go to places like Brownsville, East New York, Bed Stuy, South Jamaica, Hollis, Uptown, shit damn near half of the Bronx. Go in Soundview, Castle Hill, Mott Haven talking that New York is soft shit and I’m from Philly where it’s pretty damn crazy here. The Northeast has some of the craziest cities(nothing to be proud of). Go up and down I95 and check out Newark, East Orange, Irvington, Jersey City, Trenton, Camden, Philly, Chester, Wilmington, Baltimore, D.C.

  • 3rd eye clear

    The NYPD got cops all in Iraq right now!! City ain’t go soft..War On Terror upped the ante!!

  • http://www.bboycult.com The $ykotic Don Mac

    The New York City (not STATE) Police Department, is currently the LARGEST police force in the United States…

    The NYPD’s current authorized (GUNS) uniformed strength is 37,838 (stl 2,000, detroit 3,500, chicago-2nd largest in US: 13,400, LA a lil over 10K). There are ALSO approximately 4,500 Auxiliary Police Officers, 5,000 School Safety Agents(school guards), 2,300 Traffic Enforcement Agents, and 370 Traffic Enforcement Supervisors currently employed by the department (NO GUNS BUT HANDCUFFS and RADIOS)…The NYPD has a broad array of specialized services, including tactical operations, K-9, harbor patrol, air support, bomb disposal, counter-terrorism, intelligence(HIPHOP???), ANTI-GANG, NARCOTICS, PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, and PUBLIC HOUSING…

    Fux a rep sealsaa, they are on LOCKDOWN…my aunties, little cousins get stopped and searched FREQUENTLY over something they had nothing to do with, because they live there…I don’t see humor in it…sh*t happens everywhere, but it is intensified tenfold there…

    Peace newyawka…it’s COMPSTAT…

    Rudy Giuliani-quality of life initiative (lock ‘em up and let them prove their innocence)

    a. Commissioner Bill Bratton (Bratton would go on to become the Police Chief of Los Angeles)

    ^ See the similarities Californians?

    b. Commissioner Bernard Kerik (sentenced to 33 months for fraud and lying to the feds. He was about to be The Homeland Security Chief!!!)

    It didn’t die down in the ’90s. It got CRAZIER after the buildings went down. Man is quick to say F NY but would you live there?

    • NotoriousAGC

      yo syk, wus good, iz ya boii AGC, no disrespect man, but it looks like you guys WANT there to be a high crime rate in NY..am i missing somethin’?

      • http://www.bboycult.com The $ykotic Don Mac

        AGC what’s good? Click the name and leave me your email over there homie…

        “it’s under a shroud of martial law”

        “It got CRAZIER after the buildings went down”

        “My fam & peoples tell me to STAY AWAY from NY”

        “Jhon da Analyst says:

        Anybody on here that thinks NY is soft, better think again. I broke out because I had the sense that god gave geese. Got tired of the illegal searches and the bullshit. Too many pistols have been pointed at me by NY Pricks and Dicks”

        The crime rate never went down, it’s being fudged while the people are suppressed more than ever before…cats gotta think, add the recession into the picture.

        NYC is still that hell hole. Now if the numbers were right and exact, I would rejoice. And believe me, I was never proud of the hell hole, that’s why I copped the crib on the left, I saw the noose tightening in 2008.

        • NotoriousAGC

          done deal.sent it.

  • G

    Ny softer then wet bread

  • Joe Morgan jr.

    All I want to now is how much is it going to cost to keep Wayne’s “street cred” alive ? I’ve never been to Rikers but I’ve toured some of the West Coast’s more famous institutions. And just like outside, money makes the world go round. Dudes have been staying up late dreaming about the envelopes. Wayne’s people are going to hand there Baby’s mom in the parking lot on visiting day.And remember C.O.’s like money too. Ask a ex-con or a C.O., Inmates run the prisons but there not adverse to breaking bread with the staff. And Cash Money got deep pockets.

  • newyawka631

    @John Cochran

    I tried to put the link up about the NYPD corruption, thats in the news this week,regarding top rank officials in the NYPD instructing everyone below them to under report crime,on here but XXL doesn’t wanna post it.And a police officer in Bed-Stuy Brooklyn,was the one to shed light,on something most NYers already knew.Sykotic,go to Nydailynews website and type in crime statistics 2010.Let these cats know.

    • http://www.bboycult.com The $ykotic Don Mac

      nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2010/02/03/
      2010-02-03_fudged_crime_stats_report_deserves_hearing_sez_pol.html

      Check the related stories box…people speaking out…there are 97 precincts in NYC…all 5 boroughs so imagine the fukkery really going on…lower #’s mean more budget $, just like more arrests do, and it is well known there are quotas for that.

      And as for Wayne, he better hope they don’t see him acting fool on that Ustream drop he did b4 he decided to stuff cotton in his mouth, they might hit him with the whole bullet and more…and he better hope Arizona ain’t watching at all from the…and those thinking/talking about $, Madoff had more money than Wayne…Kerik had more power…

  • newyawka631
  • caino

    Wayne better hope there is no Adebesi looking out him at Emerald city !! lol

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Anybody on here that thinks NY is soft, better think again. I broke out because I had the sense that god gave geese. Got tired of the illegal searches and the bullshit. Too many pistols have been pointed at me by NY Pricks and Dicks. Motherfuckas just hate NY cause we started so much shit in Hip-Hop and all. The greatest city in the world!! I broke out to NC. Not too bad here and Newports are only $4!!

  • Giantstepp

    “Gangs have gotten so soft that I’m thinking about joining the Crips just for the exercise.”

    ROTFLMAO!! Good one Bol.

  • NotoriousAGC

    Nice post Bol, although the real discussion was in the comments section

  • avenger xl

    Police are corrupt all over the place. Try living in the south were you may drive through the wrong town and catch some 1950 justice. It is all realitive. Cops are usually cats who were either crooks/bullies at one time so busting heads is a usual or punks looking for authority. Occasionally you get the altruistic lot trying to be the “” good guys but shiity pay and crooked ass cohorts can put a real damper on altruism.

    Now here is a question for all of my police state conspiracy heads. Lets say we eliminate the police force in various communities. What would happen to them? Because the symptoms in the black community are by products of neglect,poverty,unemployment,drugs abuse to escape the ish etc etc etc….. Now in many cases dirty ass cops add to the pain but without the punk police to catch that bullet from his former partner pookie would pookie stop selling drugs and clean up the community? It just seems like an endless cycle what is some ideas on policing the police and kicking crooks out of the hood?

    • http://www.bboycult.com The $ykotic Don Mac

      This forum we created is not about abolishing the police. It’s about people who have never been to NYC saying that just because it’s stated on some list that there is low crime that people come to the conclusion that “NY is soft now”. And that is hardly the case, even the defense of a reputation is irrelevant.

      And there are stated facts and references above to refute the “police state conspiracy” statement you typed fam. And you are correct, it is an endless cycle. They have complaint boards, community watch groups, non-profit organizations that specifically watch the actions of the police, in all 5 boroughs. People go out and yell at them, and protest improper arrests, and file complaints at local precincts all of the time. What do you think happens to these voices of outrage?

      • Avenger XL

        I know it was about the whole is NY soft statement. Which I ignored because it sounded like a bunch of young kids arguing over whose missfortunate youth/hard heads are worse than whose. I just didn’t want any part of that discussion, so I started my own.

        I know about the watch dog groups, I am in one as a transplant in the dirty south(had to use the cliche dog). We have come to the conclusion that we had to work with neighborhood watch programs and community groups to lesson crime to properly police crooked ass cops.

        • http://www.bboycult.com The $ykotic Don Mac

          How is it coming along? I would like to know…did you see the fist bump I gave you over on bboycult?

        • AVENGER XL

          The crime rate in the city is the lowest it has been in years but we still have a brollic zip code. We have had fewer incidents with the cops because we started watching them and the crooks. I don’t wanna play cops and robbers. I would rather the cops and robbers take each other out of the equation.

          Yeah I peeped game on bboy cult. Big Shout out to BBoy Cult by the way.

  • newyawka631

    @619,Just Joe….

    It’s obvious u niggaz neva been 2 Florida before.We down there so heavy,they might have to start re-naming some parts of Orlando,Tampa and Miami,etc…. Catz from other up top locations(Jersey,Philly,D.C.,Detriot,etc.)are also part of the reason…Everyone is moving south for 3 reasons,warmer climate,cheaper cost of living and escape from da hood.Along with that,comes increase crime…Check your population statistics.As for low crime in N.Y,it isn’t to argue “we want shit high so we look hard”.There is a corruption scandal going on over there regarding the crime statistics,which has been going on the past few years.People in NYC,know crime isn’t down,but outsiders looking in might.I just wanted to shine some light on the issue…Read the article i pasted above and the comments i wrote above regarding it.And the article is from last week by da way.

  • http://XXL KING JACOB

    LOL….”MAAAAN..GIMMIE YOUR FRUIT-COCKTAIL”…CIRCA NASTY NATE….CLASSIC!

  • http://XXL KING JACOB

    ….”CUZ THE NEXT TIME…WHEN I COME FOR YOU…I’M GONNA WANT COCKTAIL…..FRUIT!!” LMFAO!!!

  • http://XXL KING JACOB

    MY BAD….ACTUAL NASTY NATE QOUTE…:”Better watch your back Fish! Squirrel Master ain’t gonna be there for you all the time. Next time I come for you, I’m gonna want some cocktail… FRUIT! “

  • LatePass

    late pass on this article but goddamn whether dinkins or bloombag is in office dont matter what time of the decades it is I definitely would not want to spend any time in Rikers… fuck that

    NY mite be soft but its cuz the cops are on one and have been forever. not lettin nothin slide so dont think about it

    but if your judging “soft” based off CompServ stats dont bother cuz everyone in NY with half a brain knows those stats are Juked so it looks like crime is going down and they get more money to keep feedin that beast! word