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Don’t Feed Da Animals, ’Cause They Might Drop 28 Mixtapes in A Month

The other night as I lay in my bed (pause), ready to turn my swag off after a long day of hip-hop work at 1115 Broadway, I felt an unexplained emptiness—a yearning, if you will. In this day and age where rap fans are just flooded with music, I found myself wanting more. I had already downloaded all the usual suspects off the 2Dopeboyz and Nahrights of the blogosphere, but it just wasn’t enough.

And then it hit me: Gorilla Zoe!

Not just a Gorilla Zoe song, or a Gorilla Zoe album; no, what I needed was a new Gorilla Zoe mixtape for every day of the month.

Yeah, that’s it!

I swear I got my finger on the pulse of this rap shit, because when I woke up the very next morning and checked Mr. Hood Figga’s MySpace page, I discovered my dreams had come true. Right before my eyes was an announcement that he’d be releasing 28 mixtapes in 28 days throughout the entire month of February. FUCKIN’ A!

But then I was met with another dilemma, where will I store all this music? I have an 80 gig iPod, but it’s digital cup has already runneth over. I mean, it’s Gorilla Zoe, right? So I guess I have to do what any sensible hip-hop fan would do.

Goodbye Illmatic— it’s been fun. But one deleted classic surely wouldn’t be enough, so I had to come to grips with parting with more music.

Here’s my list of the 28 albums that I’ll be removing from my iPod to make room for this Zoe-Travaganza. What will you be parting with? — Rob Markman, The Deputy!

1. Nas’s Illmatic: Sorry, Nasir, 16 years is long enough, I mean how many more times do I really want to listen to classical hip-hop? #C’monSon
2. OutKast’s Southernplaylisticadillacmuzik: Sure this was one of the greatest rap albums ever made, but the title is too damn long!
3. Ice Cube’s AmeriKKKA’s Most Wanted: O’Shea’s movies > O’Shea’s albums, right?
4. Mos Def’s Black on Both Sides: Let’s face it; True Magic is Mos Def’s best album.
5. Wu-Tang Clan’s Enter The Wu-Tang: Dust blunts + 40ozs of O.E. = Poorly mixed albums.
6. Slum Village’s Fantastic, Vol. 2: Who needs a fake ATCQ anyway?
7. Company Flow’s Funcrusher Plus: R.I.P. Def Jux and Rawkus, too!
8. The Pharcyde’s LabCabinCalifornia: So what the beats and rhymes were dope? Death to all albums with compounded titles. (See Southernplaylisticadillacmuzik)
9. The Fugee’s The Score: This album sold over 18 million copies worldwide, if I wanna hear it, I’ll just borrow your iPod.
10. Redman’s Muddy Waters: Whateva Man!
11. Kanye West’s The College Dropout: Sorry, Kanye, I’m happy for you and I’ma let you finish, but Gorilla Zoe’s Welcome to the Zoo is the greatest album of all-time.
12. Puff Daddy & The Family’s No Way Out: I blame Diddy for this shit, so it’s only right his debut album gotsta go!
13. 50 Cent’s Get Rich or Die Tryin’: Curtis’s mixtapes were better anyway!
14. Juvenile’s 400 Degrees: You think 28 mixtapes in a month is good, ha/You the one who replaced Jeezy in Boyz N Da Hood, ha.”

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