Don’t Feed Da Animals, ’Cause They Might Drop 28 Mixtapes in A Month

The other night as I lay in my bed (pause), ready to turn my swag off after a long day of hip-hop work at 1115 Broadway, I felt an unexplained emptiness—a yearning, if you will. In this day and age where rap fans are just flooded with music, I found myself wanting more. I had already downloaded all the usual suspects off the 2Dopeboyz and Nahrights of the blogosphere, but it just wasn’t enough.

And then it hit me: Gorilla Zoe!

Not just a Gorilla Zoe song, or a Gorilla Zoe album; no, what I needed was a new Gorilla Zoe mixtape for every day of the month.

Yeah, that’s it!

I swear I got my finger on the pulse of this rap shit, because when I woke up the very next morning and checked Mr. Hood Figga’s MySpace page, I discovered my dreams had come true. Right before my eyes was an announcement that he’d be releasing 28 mixtapes in 28 days throughout the entire month of February. FUCKIN’ A!

But then I was met with another dilemma, where will I store all this music? I have an 80 gig iPod, but it’s digital cup has already runneth over. I mean, it’s Gorilla Zoe, right? So I guess I have to do what any sensible hip-hop fan would do.

Goodbye Illmatic— it’s been fun. But one deleted classic surely wouldn’t be enough, so I had to come to grips with parting with more music.

Here’s my list of the 28 albums that I’ll be removing from my iPod to make room for this Zoe-Travaganza. What will you be parting with? — Rob Markman, The Deputy!

1. Nas’s Illmatic: Sorry, Nasir, 16 years is long enough, I mean how many more times do I really want to listen to classical hip-hop? #C’monSon
2. OutKast’s Southernplaylisticadillacmuzik: Sure this was one of the greatest rap albums ever made, but the title is too damn long!
3. Ice Cube’s AmeriKKKA’s Most Wanted: O’Shea’s movies > O’Shea’s albums, right?
4. Mos Def’s Black on Both Sides: Let’s face it; True Magic is Mos Def’s best album.
5. Wu-Tang Clan’s Enter The Wu-Tang: Dust blunts + 40ozs of O.E. = Poorly mixed albums.
6. Slum Village’s Fantastic, Vol. 2: Who needs a fake ATCQ anyway?
7. Company Flow’s Funcrusher Plus: R.I.P. Def Jux and Rawkus, too!
8. The Pharcyde’s LabCabinCalifornia: So what the beats and rhymes were dope? Death to all albums with compounded titles. (See Southernplaylisticadillacmuzik)
9. The Fugee’s The Score: This album sold over 18 million copies worldwide, if I wanna hear it, I’ll just borrow your iPod.
10. Redman’s Muddy Waters: Whateva Man!
11. Kanye West’s The College Dropout: Sorry, Kanye, I’m happy for you and I’ma let you finish, but Gorilla Zoe’s Welcome to the Zoo is the greatest album of all-time.
12. Puff Daddy & The Family’s No Way Out: I blame Diddy for this shit, so it’s only right his debut album gotsta go!
13. 50 Cent’s Get Rich or Die Tryin’: Curtis’s mixtapes were better anyway!
14. Juvenile’s 400 Degrees: You think 28 mixtapes in a month is good, ha/You the one who replaced Jeezy in Boyz N Da Hood, ha.”

  • Josh

    Actually you probably should delete that Lil Cease album anyway…

    And Goddamn! You act like Gorilla Zoe worte a XXL dis record

    • Rob Markman

      YOU’RE BUGGIN’ – I LOVE that Lil Cease album. lol

  • yoprince

    The Blueprint: Who needs the original when you have the Blueprint 2, and BP3, not to mention Gucci’s Burrrprint?

    • yoprince

      oh damn. i missed the second page. oh well, at least we didn’t give the same reason.

  • Deadly MIME

    Hol up wait a minute!? WTF 28 mixtapes in 28 days? What does that gonna accomplish? Nothing thats what. Who gives a fuck about Gorilla Zoe and who is gonna get and listen to bullshit everyday?

    • AZ40

      I hope this nigga is joking about this shit in this post…Anyway any artist that releases this quatity of music is because it’s garbage music the artist isn’t able to make money off of, if it were any good they would package it and try to make some kind of money off of it right?

      • nick

        RIGHT. i bet every day the material gets weaker, and weaker.

  • HollyHood

    LMAO!! The editors sarcasm is priceless….

    • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

      ^^co-sign. this shit had me rolling, LMAO!!!

  • General

    Priceless blog…

    I thought the same thing when I saw this story on line. WTF??? You can’t even come up with enough good material for 1 CD, but your gonna release 28 in 28 days…

    I’m sure that will be some quality shit…

  • http://www.facebook.com/maxprofit Max Profit

    People’s attention spans are not long enough to listen to any rapper 28 days in a row.

    No disrespect to Zoe, just a very bad idea.

  • Symphony

    Is Gorilla Zoe and Flo Rida the same person? kinda like humpty hump and shock G

  • El Tico Loco

    He should ask Crooked I how that worked out when he tried that with his freestyles and we know Crook can actually spit.

  • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

    Kudos, Rob! One of your best pieces thus far.

    For me, I’d have to delete every amazing debut (Ready To Die, Enter The Wu-Tang, Illmatic, Reasonable Doubt, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx…, AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted, Doggystyle, etc etc etc)

  • NotoriousAGC

    the sarcasm must chap Gorilla Zoe’s ass..if he ever reads this blogs.

    • NotoriousAGC

      blog*

    • mikel

      that’s giving gorilla zoe a lot of credit, who’s to say he would understand the sarcasm?

      • yoprince

        lol.

  • good post

    Makes you wonder how much actual effort is put into his music

  • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

    Classic sarcasm. Just hoping that ain’t your iPod Rob…

  • bongolock

    kudos!
    great way to end my work day!

  • C. Hop

    Most entertaining blog in a min! the first 14 is a solid list for best cds ever.

  • Chilly Willy

    “Wu-Tang Clan’s Enter The Wu-Tang: Dust blunts + 40ozs of O.E. = Poorly mixed albums.”
    “22. Jay-Z’s The Blueprint: KRS already made an album called Blueprint and I’m gonna erase that shit, too.
    23. Big Pun’s Capital Punishment: Rappin’ Puerto Ricans? What will they think of next!”
    ^^^^^^^^^^

    but mostly this:

    “Lil Cease’s The Wonderful World Of Cease-A-Leo: Actually, I’m going to keep the album cover and put it on one of the 28 Zoe tapes, but the actual music is outta here!”

    Rob, you’re a damn fool !!!
    Shit had me rolling …

  • Nick Chacos

    your buggin out for putting all your faith in these mixtapes. you put a lot of time thinking why these great albums are worth cutting out.. but how about the reasons why this is a mistake.

    28 in 28 means each project is gonna be rushed
    how many rhymes can this cat really make without sounding redundant?
    what has this artist done to deserve this type of clearing out just to make room for him?

    • mikel

      somebody completely missed the point

      • Curtis75Black

        Hell yeah, He missed the point !! It’s a joke Nick.

  • BEEZIE!

    What can I say? Some niggas luv 2 rap, i guess… SMMFH at yall niggas in here who are actually OFFENDED by Zoe’s choice to make all that music, even if it is weak quality… that’s like a nigga without a job telling a nigga with a job that he’s retarded for working overtime… even if he sucks at his job

    That said, aint no way in hell I’d delete any of Outkast’s early shit from my iPod for this nigga here, let alone Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik. Nigga pleez!

  • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

    Hahaha! Good one, Rob! Your ipod’s a for real trooper. As for 28 mixtapes in 28 day? I-I-I just can’t do it…

  • 619

    It’s a good thing he came up with the mixtape idea for the shortest month in the year. 31 mixtapes would’ve really been bad.

  • http://bones_42@hotmail.com Doobie42

    This is the best blog post for xxl i’ve ever read

  • daydeezy

    Dont forget to take the “Pussy Cat Dolls off… Well you might keep the cover…..

  • caino

    Why doesnt he just take the best from the 28 mixtapes and put out a solid album, then peeps might actually care!!

    Good drop tho! and the person who asked if Gorrilla Zoe & Flo Rida are the same person, l was thinking the same shit too!

  • sprengstart

    why dont you just delete the paris hilton sextapes and your good to go

  • nicholasdelorejo

    you know what’s fucked up? Dudes like Gorilla Zoe spend so much time releasing mixtapes of subpar quality rather tha use this time to learn to play an instrument, enhance their pro-tool skills, enhance their songwritting skills, or basically be a better artists. That’s what gets me about hip hop. Its the fact that it wants to be respected as a genre of music yet muthafuckas in it don’t seem to respect it themselves.

    I don’t have anything against zoe but why can’t more rappers have a little more pride in their music and make songs that stick to the listener rather than easily disposable shit. I’m still blazing J. Cole and Lupe’s mixtapes and I’ll pay money to go to their concerts. I seriously can’t tell Zoe apart from Shawty lo, Ross, CTP, or any other trap rappers. So it’s not like people are going to give a shit about any of Zoe’s mixtapes let alone tell them apart in quality. That’s why I’m hoping for musicianship in hip-hop now. At least this way dudes can occupy their time being artists rather than releasing disposable music.

  • mac

    everybody is sleepin zoe is the truth….its day 7 NOTHIN BUT QUALITY