Dear Fat Joe, Let Us A&R Your Next Remix

Joseph Cartegena has done it AGAIN! On some real shit I’ve been rockin’ with Fat Joe since the fat guy with the shotty logo. Maybe it was because there weren’t many Latino MCs out and I became a fan by Puerto Rican default, but I own (read: paid for) every single Joey Crack album.

By the time Joe dropped his second album, Jealous Ones Envy, he developed quite the reputation for coming up with street bangers. And maybe his records were only big in New York (or maybe other cities fucked with them, I wouldn’t know because I rarely get out the city), but the energy behind Joe’s underground tracks has always been special (“Shit is Real [Remix],” “My Lifestyle,” “The Enemy,” “Safe 2 Say,” “Lean Back,” etc.). His latest single “Ha Ha,” featuring Young Jeezy is no different.

Real talk, I heard “Ha Ha” on the radio last night and almost crashed the car. It’s been a minute since New York had a Champion hoodie and Timberland boot anthem. I say all that to say this: I can’t wait for the remix (what, you don’t think there’ll be one?). If I had my way here is who I’d put on it. What about you? —Rob Markman, The Deputy!

Jay-Z: Okay, so a Fat Joe/Jay-Z collaboration seems highly unlikely, but then again Hov did bury the hatchet with Nas, right? You have to believe that wherever Hov is, he is hearing this joint and getting his Rain Man on. NYC would lose their minds if these two jumped on a track together.

Jadakiss: This is a no brainer. I’d bet the farm that Jason will be adding a 16 to this.

Remy Ma: Free Remy! Someone break Ms. Martin out of prison and bring her to the studio ASAP. Remember what she did on M.O.P’s “Ante Up (Remix)”? Tell Papoose to keep the car running.

Nas: Joe and Nas haven’t rocked together since 1998’s “John Blaze.” I’m pretty sure Nasir’s español has gotten better since then, because the “La Sangre, that’s blood in Spanish” line was lame.

Fabolous: Gotta give it up to Fab. I know he was upset about the L rating he received for his Loso’s Way album (hey an L is a good rating, people), but when it comes to his bars: everything is niiiiiiiice!

Red Café: I’m like Khaled; I’m all about unity. Unfortunately the veteran New York rappers haven’t been showing much love to the younger generation. Joe gets props for jumping on Red’s “Paper Touchin’ (Remix)” a couple of years back. Time to rekindle the flame!

Jay Electronica: I never said this was a New York only remix. If Joe has his ear to the streets (and you know he does), he’ll recruit the New Orleans transplant and make the Stanleys go crazy!

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    Funny how everybody is all of a sudden “liking” Fat Joe again,when not too long ago he was the laughing stock of NY…

  • E-Hustle

    WOW, how much did Fat Joe pay this XXL blogger to post this bullshit?
    Com’on son, almost crashed your car while listening to this on the radio!? GTFOH!

    @the 1st guy to post, dude is still the laughing stock of NY. This aint no F’N anthem track for NY. Nigga got a South nigga on the track like all of his songs the last several years since he got ran out of NY.

    50 slaughtered this fool last summer with those classic videos implying that Fat Joe’s new album was killing people. And then crying tears himself on the video at the end.
    That shit was genius.

    I will say the beat and Young Cheesy on the hook was ill. But this dude Joe is still garbage.
    He will never be half the artist BIG PUN was.

    Yo XXL blogger,if your really looking to crash your bucket to some heat then I suggest you cop that Relapse Refill re-release and play Disc2 and listen to all 7 of those bonus tracks.
    Track 7 “DROP THE BOMB ON EM” (subliminal Officer Ricky Diss no one is picking up on) will most definitely have you crashing your car and hopefully it will flip into a river and you drown.



  • JihaD

    How is this a NY Anthem with YOUNG JEEZY on it?



  • JihaD

    How is this a NY “Champions and Timberlands” anthem with YOUNG JEEZY on it? Is that nigga from the bronx now?



  • E-Hustle

    Yo JihaD, you mean “EPIC” FAIL. This blogger must be sniffing too much of Joey’s broke ass crack.

  • E-Hustle

    Yo JihaD, you must mean “EPIC” FAIL. This XXL blogger must be sniffing too much of Joey’s broke ass Crack.

  • The $ykotic Don Mac

    Damn Rob, the song just came out…let it breathe 1st before you anoint it…

  • lol

    fat joe is a pussy ever since he ran away from NY, to go live with khaled and the rest of the def jam island brady bunch family. I would never like him!, not matter how many song’s he comes out with from here on out. So he made a sandwich(song) with better ingredients(beat) put some good cheese(Chorus wit young jeezy) and even added more ham(lyrics) but just like his sandwich he will always be FAT(wack) and have that overweight problem(one hit wonder). I stopped listening to Fat ever since tony n cuban left.

    • latino heat

      @ lol

      come on homie, you might not like Joe, and i admit he has fallen off the last few years but to call Joe a one hit wonder is just blatant hating. Joe has a few radio hits under his (very large) belt. and a lot of street bangers. give respect where it’s due.

  • NotoriousAGC

    From the first paragraph of this blog i knew it was a load of blah blah blah….He became your favorite rapper cause he was PR ? GTFOH…I like that line though ALMOST CRASH MY CAR, LMAO..

    • Rob Markman

      Who said “favorite?” I said I became a fan by default. Do you read blogs or just skim thru it… lol.

      That record is hot, ain’t no two ways about it. Get used to hearin’ it guys.

      • NotoriousAGC

        shit, i read it but i SHOULD´VE skimmed through this bullshit.

  • DBlock

    how u gonna mention crack’s street record history and not include, “misery needs company” and “fat joe’s in town”? hungh???

  • David(ElPuma)Matos

    WTF people Joey makes a hit and people start shooting it down. For a latino give him some credit!!! Listen to 50s last album to me psycho with Em was the only hot track. Everything else was a bit too lovey dovey or I just couldnt understand it! Sorry fif I know you made some bangers. If you seen joes last radio station appearance he said he’s gonna bring it at what he’s good at…. no lovey dovey song but that street level shit! I believe he’s gonna do it to show he’s got it and he deserves it. Oh and by the way today is Feb 5th two days before Puns death, Im sure Puns looking down at Joe smiling off this track. Whatever! this track is bangin and it will get heavy airplay! HATERS !!!!

  • beaver

    epic faill..
    waste of my time..

  • bobby

    if yall like fat joe some much, reading so much bullshit comments why did’nt yall buy his last album jose 2? I bet none of you have it! yall like him so much why did he flop selling only like 6,000 comeon this is bullshit

  • EmCDL

    That J.O.S.E. go hard but ever since that came out, Fat Joe shit ain’t been the same. Lean Back was aight but that was about it. Have yet to hear that new track….radio is a straight disease around me…

  • BA

    I dislike Joe, but that song is straight fire… Jeezy’s chorus killed it, but Rob you are completely off base giving Fab an L; next you’ll be giving Gucci Mane XXL’s SMH

  • The Band Man

    It’s 2010 & I just wish mufuckas would stop using “jawn”. WTF is that??Thats the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, hands down, period!

  • Mardi Graz

    While I ain’t a Fat Joe fan this is a nice joint. I’m feelin the beat and how the sample was used. I like Jeezy upbeat flow….Despite how I feel about him a cool song is a cool song.

  • realtalk82

    Can’t Lie Fat Joe has been dissapointing me for a while but he does have some dope ass records still.

    “Hey Joe” and “Ha Ha” his best in a while.Kiss will be on the remix I hope sounds like this record was made for him anyway with the signature laugh sample from “Back to Life” and Kiss “AHANNNNH’ noise would set this record off for real

  • King Joffy Joe

    Just went to YouTube and heard the track in question. It sounds pretty good. I don’t know about crashing my whip after hearing it, but the sample was on point. As far as Fat Joe goes, it’s gonna take a WHOLE LOT MORE than just one song, to get the cats in NY to fuck with him again.

    -K. Joffy Joseph

  • Simple like ABC, 123


  • caino

    Good Tune, no hate, l will play this shit! THo we all know Joe can make good club records, just a shame his albums usually suck.