Dear Fat Joe, Let Us A&R Your Next Remix

Joseph Cartegena has done it AGAIN! On some real shit I’ve been rockin’ with Fat Joe since the fat guy with the shotty logo. Maybe it was because there weren’t many Latino MCs out and I became a fan by Puerto Rican default, but I own (read: paid for) every single Joey Crack album.

By the time Joe dropped his second album, Jealous Ones Envy, he developed quite the reputation for coming up with street bangers. And maybe his records were only big in New York (or maybe other cities fucked with them, I wouldn’t know because I rarely get out the city), but the energy behind Joe’s underground tracks has always been special (“Shit is Real [Remix],” “My Lifestyle,” “The Enemy,” “Safe 2 Say,” “Lean Back,” etc.). His latest single “Ha Ha,” featuring Young Jeezy is no different.

Real talk, I heard “Ha Ha” on the radio last night and almost crashed the car. It’s been a minute since New York had a Champion hoodie and Timberland boot anthem. I say all that to say this: I can’t wait for the remix (what, you don’t think there’ll be one?). If I had my way here is who I’d put on it. What about you? —Rob Markman, The Deputy!

Jay-Z: Okay, so a Fat Joe/Jay-Z collaboration seems highly unlikely, but then again Hov did bury the hatchet with Nas, right? You have to believe that wherever Hov is, he is hearing this joint and getting his Rain Man on. NYC would lose their minds if these two jumped on a track together.

Jadakiss: This is a no brainer. I’d bet the farm that Jason will be adding a 16 to this.

Remy Ma: Free Remy! Someone break Ms. Martin out of prison and bring her to the studio ASAP. Remember what she did on M.O.P’s “Ante Up (Remix)”? Tell Papoose to keep the car running.

Nas: Joe and Nas haven’t rocked together since 1998’s “John Blaze.” I’m pretty sure Nasir’s español has gotten better since then, because the “La Sangre, that’s blood in Spanish” line was lame.

Fabolous: Gotta give it up to Fab. I know he was upset about the L rating he received for his Loso’s Way album (hey an L is a good rating, people), but when it comes to his bars: everything is niiiiiiiice!

Red Café: I’m like Khaled; I’m all about unity. Unfortunately the veteran New York rappers haven’t been showing much love to the younger generation. Joe gets props for jumping on Red’s “Paper Touchin’ (Remix)” a couple of years back. Time to rekindle the flame!

Jay Electronica: I never said this was a New York only remix. If Joe has his ear to the streets (and you know he does), he’ll recruit the New Orleans transplant and make the Stanleys go crazy!