As soon as I saw Joell Ortiz’s new video, “Call Me,” I loved it. Memories of my many high school crushes came rushing back. I’m always pleased when the introspective moments of a rap song can trigger that nostalgia and make you feel like someone is telling your story.

Back in them days (the ’90s), I was hardly a player, but I did crush a lot. I don’t mean it like the late great Big Pun meant it, I’m talking about actual crushes—usually on women I had no shot in hell at actually making the acquaintance of. Yup, my crazy celebrity crushes.

Being that today’s Valentines Day and everyone is all lovey dovey (well, if you’re lucky) I figured I’d flashback on a few of my imaginary loves of V-Day’s past. —Rondell Conway

Lil’ Kim (Circa ’96) - My Rap Shortie

Before the evolution of the many changing faces of Kimberly “Lil’ Kim” Jones, I had it bad for the Brooklyn rapstress. Big Momma was sassy, sexy and nasty on the mic. Needless to say, her notorious Hardcore poster was hanging on my wall, regardless of the fact it offended every girl that entered my room.

Jada Pinkett - My Hollywood Starlet

Will Smith beat me to it, but I had all intentions of making Ms. Pinkett my wife. From her college sweetheart role on a Different World to playing the lovely around the way chick in Menace II Society, Jada worked for me in any setting. That mesmerizing stare she gave was the shit. If Kane didn’t beat me to it, I would’ve whooped on “fagg*t ass” Chauncey myself.

Keisha (Total) - My R&B Chick

Once again, I was beaten to the punch by an actor. Before the former singer for Bad Boy’s first girl group, Total, married Omar Epps, I didn’t want no one else in my life. The first time I laid eyes on her, decked in all black leather, in the “Can’t You See” video I was straight trippin’, boo.

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